Seven thousand miles!

Last week I got past six weeks in time for exercise but the duration covers all kinds of exercise: indoor bike, outdoor bike, stair master and running on a treadmill. Today I have gone over 28% the circumference of the Earth via an indoor bike! Some people find this impressive. I don’t. Seriously, it’s a fake bike, indoors without worries from the environment (namely Austin drivers who don’t signal) and I’m in no danger of getting lost.

The last ten days have been fantastic too because I haven’t missed a morning, the best time to exercise. I get super obnoxious headaches if I put this off to the afternoon/early evening. Anyway, by really, really pushing my average to 17 miles/day has been effective at closing the gap on where I theoretically am on my way to Beijing and how far behind I am with averaging 10 miles/day as I had planned way back in January. Should I beat my longest known streak, 73 days, maybe I’ll be on par to beat out the 2019 records. Not quite the ideal, 3652.4 miles or more. I think the loftier goal is to get the cycling down enough that I can scrape up some additional time to climb a few stairs so I can get my lifetime cume to be over 11,000 storeys. Wish me luck and I won’t be blathering on about this until I reach Beijing which should be within another 10 days.

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Pabst Blue Ribbon, now in obnoxious Hipster cases!

How to transport that is beyond the imagination. Given how icky PBR has always been, that’s not a family pack, it’s a lifetime supply for a few generations.

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An Austin-based friend returns!

Yesterday, I decided to give Jennifer some relief in helping out with her chauffeuring request from Cheyenne (her daughter who won’t/can’t drive, lacks a car). We headed up to the Round Rock Outlet Mall to kill an hour, waiting for Cheyenne’s shift to end and you know me when it comes to my enormous collection of Chucks, I had to at least pay my respects at the Converse Store, especially with Nike/Simon moving it to a different, larger spot. One thing I love about my relationship with Jennifer, I don’t get lectured or warned ever with “You better not buy anymore!” Although, it couldn’t hurt from time to time.

So this design caught my eye because all I could think about was Bob Ross doing his “happy little trees” schtick. Then I heard my name called out. I figured it was a senility attack and/or wishful thinking. I turned around and it was my old friend Sara! Honestly, her name had escaped me since we hadn’t seen each other in years and couldn’t keep in touch easily, I had my FeceBook account deleted. Sara got the chance to transfer back home to the Austin store after getting San Marcos and Fort Worth operating. We had a brief catch up and you know I bought the “happy trees” shoes. Sara gave me her phone number since I had to send her the belated Xmas card which I know she’ll get a laugh over.

It’s awesome when a good person returns to Austin. I don’t say it lightly about who deserves to live here too. I am a carpetbagger but I’ve been here for 28 years and I too want to preserve what makes Austin great. Thusly, I have a few close friends I have to confide…please don’t come here, you’ll just add to our Dallasification or Houstonization problems. Sara? Nah. I’m also thinking about what I can do to help her get back into her photography and other artistic pursuits she used to have.

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Mama cat London got adopted!

With all the negativity going around for the last several days, it’s great to post some good news I stumbled upon recently. Our foster kittens’ mama was adopted this week! London found a forever family to take her in. I wasn’t terribly worried. I figured her personality would shift once the endorphins from being a mommy wore off, her children being gone and then getting neutered. All these would combine to stop making London a terror with other adult cats, aka her need to charge. She’ll be a well-loved lap cat and her new humans will have to accept that she isn’t going to get much larger. I think reproducing at an early age causes females to be tiny compared to adults who have it stopped in time.

We’ve been receiving more requests to foster others but we probably won’t take any in until we return from our vacation in the fall.

6330

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Well…SCOTUS has now reached peak irrelevance

It’s now official, the Minority Government in power hates women and poor people. This crap rationale of the most incredible verbal, philosophical yoga will be remembered when Amerikan Democracy went from dying to almost no pulse. I figured the country’s obituary will be ready when Herr DeSantis is elected to POTUS for life and he has anyone the Left of Liz Cheney arrested. My response from now on to all these Federalist Society, Pursits, Originalists, etc is “Fuck you! No one cares what a bunch of dead, slave-owning bigot’d WASP men meant, thought or wanted! Plus they lacked the imagination of a society in which slavery ended, women had rights and non-WASPs were allowed to vote, proving they’re equally as stupid as them! They also lacked the foresight regarding what the Industrial Era would unleash with the exception of how Jefferson tried to prevent or slow it through the Louisiana Purchase.”

Full disclosure if I have never stated my viewpoint on abortion but if I have, my apologies for repeating myself. When I was younger and aligned more with the inept, moronic Political Center that will kill us all since they keep giving the keys to the Right; I was at best, indifferent to the issue and at worst, against it. I know I moved from against to indifferent when I learned getting an abortion was not super easy nor cheap, dismissing it as a form of birth control. It’s an argument as smart as saying…I’m not going to clean my apartment or house, I’ll just move to another unit when the one I’m in is too dirty.

What pushed me toward the pro-choice side was the indirect experience I had in college. A couple friends were on the ropes and to add insult to the dilemma, they now despised each other. So marriage was off the table because anyone who thinks bringing an unwanted child into the universe will save an already crap relationship is an utter moron.

Next scenario to shoot down would be adoption which I’m not entirely against yet it being viable in Amerika with its for-profit healthcare system makes it only possible in limited and often, racist circumstances. These two friends’ baby would’ve been quickly and easily nabbed by a childless White Couple since 99% of the time, they want a White Baby, none of the thousands of non-white babies in the system nor the millions of children well past the baby stage but under 18. Given their middle-class and college-student backgrounds, this also boosted the chances, namely for those who think these desirable traits are genetic (the jury is out on such things). However, will the adopting couple pay the staggering medical bills of the surrogate mother? Only if they’re stinking rich and stinking desperate. All those Forced Life groups won’t contribute a dime. They scatter like cockroaches under bright light whenever they have to pony up and say what they really mean, “Stop having and enjoying sex because we don’t!” Throw in the freak out and shaming either family will do, adding stress to these two and a good chance both would have to interrupt their studies, something which could go from “just a semester” to eventually “I just can’t afford to go back to finish my degree.”

An abortion became the strongest moral and most practical solution for them. It allowed them to go their separate ways forever. It saved them and society hundreds of thousands of dollars as both graduated on time and pursued careers. It spared them the judgmental bullshit from their families, their peers and Amerikan shame-based culture. And let’s be honest, it also prevented the mental illness the Forced Life experience would impose upon at least one of the three involved. Contrary to the propaganda, few women “suffer” later from the decision to terminate a pregnancy and I remained friends off/on with the lady until I left for GDW. A couple years after graduation, she was doing really well and was in love with a guy I think was the right match for her to keep up the positive streak.

Here’s what also pissed me off to no end as my position strengthened to be forever in the Choice camp. The utter lack of any real support from my male friends for either person. Sadly, I don’t recall any significant female input due to us all being primarily the dude’s friend and floor mate in an all-guy dorm. One person’s pseudo girlfriend leaned toward the Choice camp yet I will say my memory is cloudy here as I was really laying into the irresponsible dude to do something, cut the denial and don’t even think of fleeing the scene. After he and the lady agreed to the abortion, I shifted my anger at the males who chose to abandon our mutual buddy with their excuses like “It’s against my beliefs as a Catholic,” “I’m a Republican” and “I was adopted.” The first two are countered by, “OK. They have to have the baby and I’m 100% sure you and your camp are also against providing any support to raise said baby via healthcare, schooling and other matters since (in 1986), the average cost of getting a kid from birth to 18 was $250,000.” The adopted angle may appear impervious to criticism but only if the apologist is willfully ignorant about probability and how hostile the universe is to all life. Then rewind to what I stated earlier on how the US doesn’t have a very good setup to make adoption a realistic choice outside of religious organizations hellbent on keep their tribe’s numbers up: Mormons, Catholics, etc.

It has been over 35 years since the event in my life. Science has provided more answers on the nature of life from a Biological stance, debunking both sides’ strongly held opinions which were present as facts. Science has a much longer way to go keeping the debate in the Philosophical realm, a category of thinking Amerika sucks at and our Legal System is now polluted by Right-Wing religion as the leaked and now official decision demonstrated.

Alito is so full shit, his eyes are dark brown. Citing a discredited English asshole who thought witches were real shows his desperation. Saying Americans have no right to privacy is another head scratcher. He and the other five corporate shills don’t profess this when it comes to the cops hiding proof of the murders they commit nor when corporations claim to be people not wanting to reveal pretty damming evidence. Turning over the legality to the 50 states is a load of crap too. The Bill of Rights and precedents have proven time and time again, we’re Americans, not exclusively New Yorkers, Texans, etc. so one set of residents can’t be restricted in one state while others are A-OK. Something called the US Civil War put an end to such a stupid debate and mindset too. Letting the States have a patchwork of varying laws is a fig leaf for the Right/Fascist/Corporate plan. One, they don’t really believe it as their anti-gun control decision against New York the day before proved. Hmm, states can force women to have babies while they can’t keep guns out of the hands of unhinged Ammosexuals. Two, as soon as the GOP seizes the House and likely the Senate, you can count on a Federal abortion ban spearheaded by Speaker McCarthy to overrule California, New York and Illinois.

If it weren’t for Jennifer, I would be frantically job hunting in Europe. Today I would’ve said, screw it! I’m selling the house and hoping I won’t have to couch surf for long since the incompetent Democratic leadership’s response an hour later was them begging me for $15 to enable the to continue doing fucking nothing. Asking Prime Minister Trudeau to have the Canadian Defense Forces lead an NATO-based invasion is more desirable now.

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Six weeks of exercise attained!

Let’s see. If we divided those six weeks by the number of days it took to hit this landmark over the last 12 years…I’m averaging around 14 1/2 minutes of exercise a day when ideally it should be 30. Yeah, I will live forever!

I’m hoping I can push the trend in the right directly more and more given the current streak I have going: six days! Plus I’m pushing and hoping to make 2022 a positive year with mileage and time as I did with 2019, despite the divorce, which I chalked up eight days alone. An indoor bike is much, much easier to do this through than a treadmill, outdoor bike (can’t wait to use it again) or stair master. Wish me luck, I’m going to need it and I will be investigating the ol’ work gym tomorrow.

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A call back to the “simpler days”

Namely that time when the GOP tried to overthrow the rightfully elected and re-elected POTUS for cheating on his wife which hadn’t happened in like…never. I would go out on a limb to say that the philanders are in the minority (FDR, Harding, Ike, LBJ, JFK and Bush the Elder) since a couple were not around in the job long enough to try (William Harrison and Garfield) or couldn’t get it up any more (St. Reagan, Bush the Coke Addict). Many have been despicable but cheating on their spouses wasn’t on the list (Jackson, Johnson, Buchanan and Fillmore).

Today it’s pathetic how same political party dodging and sabotaging the hearings at every turn in which a violent mob could’ve installed their Ammosexual Republic of Gilead wasn’t millions on somebody getting a blow job from an intern. Oh you’ll hear them dust off their moldy chestnuts of…”This isn’t about sex, it’s about lying under oath!” Uh huh, like all the shit bags Bush the Elder pardoned for the Iran-Contra Affair before he bailed from his loss in 1992? How St. Reagan’s Alzheimer’s suddenly became convenient too? Uh huh, like how Tricky Dick used government agencies to spy on political enemies which is behavior we shame the third world for? Let’s not forget how the asshole leading the charge to push Slick Willie out was busy fucking his now third wife the back of his second one and to top it off, the Vatican lost even more credibility letting said third wife be the US ambassador. Let’s also not forget, one of the main Republicans calling the hearing a kangaroo court, protected a known sexual predator in Ohio. Let’s not forget there’s another one from Florida who is a sexual predator dumb enough to pay off his victims with Venmo. Let’s not forget another from Colorado who married a sexual predator who whipped out his junk at underage girls in a bowling alley.

As for Slick Willie, I was pretty done with him by the time he went into super Lame Duck mode and got too busy sucking up to build his so-called library in a town he probably avoids. He’s guilty for many things, namely converting the Dems into the GOP Lite via his triangulation crap. We already knew he cheated on his incompetent and egotistical beard during the 1992 primaries, yet the Dems circled the wagons around him when I thin Jerry Brown would’ve governed better. Here’s the other thing the GOP and the Believe Women Even When Particular Ones Are Lying Fanatics (Tara Reade, Crystal Magnum and Warren Harding’s numerous mistresses) proliferate upon despite it being utter bullshit, Monica Lewinsky wasn’t a “child.” She was 23 and willingly screwed her drama teacher in high school. I’m pretty confident she turned pro at her alma mater Lewis & Clark, so Monica had way more in common with Nancy Reagan than Artemisia Gentileschi. I have little sympathy for her too. Afterwards, she walked away making a shit load more money than I ever did after graduation and has never really had to sweat where or when the next paycheck comes from; she got invited to a TED (Totally Enthralling Demagogues) talk which pays at least half my annual salary.

Again, my point remains how our government and its pathetically outdated parties cripple progress while simultaneously killing the world through Puritanical obsessions.

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As per Astronomy, Summer is “here!”

We already have had a one-month head start on the heat wave which also means Climate Change arrived years ago but it remains a fiction to the morons in charge with their legions of millions like my dead uncle and his dipshit son. The bigger wonder for me though is this, today is the “longest” day of the year, aka when we get the most sunlight. Now I know seasons are really caused by the Earth’s axial tilt and as we revolve around the Sun, this tilt affects how much of the Sun’s rays land, creating day and night. What I’m puzzled about is this, why isn’t this Solstice day when we arrive at our actual aphelion (July 4, 2022) in our elliptical orbit?

Meanwhile, my friends who live wayyyyyyyy north compared to even my past home Milwaukee, they will be happy that the days of the sun just hovering in the horizon will soon come to an end and then they’ll be bummed when it won’t rise until 9:30 AM as it rushes to set well before 4 PM.

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Remember, Wall Street and NeoLiberals hate you

Chairman Powell is leading the charge to make sure Grampa’ Brunch will be a one-term POTUS after the Democrats get slaughtered this November, which will make the Bears’ only Super Bowl victory resemble a “mere dustup.” He and his shit bird friends raised the rates not to really defeat inflation but to destroy any wage growth. He even said what he was thinking aloud too. I’m not saying the past was better, it was horrible then yet the evil people remembered to pretend they weren’t fucking us over in public.

The jump in everything wasn’t caused by the pitiful wage increases many of us saw vanish in hours. It was barely even influenced by Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. It’s the usual…corporations tell us all to bend over and take it in the ass while the Republicans cheer them on like drunk frat boys witnessing a rape and the useless Democrats still do what they can to protect their donors. Currently, crude oil isn’t that much more a barrel than it was a year ago. Oh there’s a bottleneck in refining. Bullshit. It’s price gouging and since Big Oil wants Girth Vader back in power, they will do everything they can to put the blame on the Center Right Party. It’s disgusting. So don’t believe the Corporate Media one second when they repeat the lies: it’s rising wages and more government capital injections.

Now Larry Summers has crawled out from under the rock he shares with Henry Kissinger to say, unemployment needs to get back to 5-6% to cool things off. News flash you upward failing piece of shit. The rate is artificially lower due to past buyouts (airlines with older pilots), retirements and mostly people have just given up. Ergo, Grampa’ Brunch can claim an outright lie as success. Nevermind all the homeless camps in Austin, LA and other “booming” cities. Nevermind the lack of affordable housing everywhere. Nevermind how the vacancies are in jobs which suck because they involve taking bullshit from Entitled Boomers, the Job Destroying Class and the incompetent Political Class. Fear not. Robots cooking fries and getting your order wrong have just been moved up on the schedule.

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Double Move hits 500!

Again, not bad that this took almost seven years to achieve as I go through exercising in fits and starts; I did pull off my second day in a row with the hopes this could lead to another month streak!

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Curtains with the help of Task Rabbit

BEFORE

One of the compromises I’ve had to work through with Jennifer involved my immense Chucks collection. Firstly, she wanted them removed from the master bedroom and a TV placed on that wall. I said absolutely not. There’s no other room in the house for them along with $2000-worth of Elfa shelving to put them on. Secondly, I don’t want a TV in the bedroom. It becomes a diversion from sleeping or more productive activities…I’m defending reading. So Jennifer bought this curtain crap to “hide” my wonders since it affects her ADHD. I can’t remember what my therapist calls this but despite my shoes being organized, Jennifer still “sees” this as chaos. It’s not chaos when you see all the neat aisles of food at Costco. Anyway, I couldn’t install this because my old man only taught me how to hold a flashlight for him. Besides, I went to school and university so I could earn enough to pay somebody else to do this for me. In comes Task Rabbit. I used it before when I was in a hurry to get a spigot replaced. I was skeptical on the curtains given how quickly Jennifer wanted it completed. Good thing I was wrong on a couple matters. Our guy Zachary C was fast and damned skilled. The biggest skepticism involved his price since I know going with the cheapest isn’t always the smartest. Thankfully his rates were low until he receives more jobs under his belt with good ratings. Glad we could help.

AFTER

Now my shoes are “gone” when the curtains are closed…if you’re a dog/cat or a fan of certain philosophers. I guess I should find a way to enjoy this alteration. Make a big to-do through it. I’ve already introduced my Chucks as guests on the original Muppet Show.

BEFORE

Zachary C was generous enough to fix my screw up on getting the long overdue blackout curtain I’ve wanted for my personal office for 20 years. You can see all the spackling in the upper left of the photo, trying to cover up my poor skills.

AFTER

Certainly looks better than the black sheet held in with thumbtacks! There was nothing really cool going on outside the window anyway. Well, Agamemnon really got into it arguing with a squirrel gnawing on my fence.

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Paul McCartney is 80

Only recently had I given his advanced age much thought. Seems like only recently Alamo Drafthouse had their sing-along for his 64th birthday; 2006 and still at the original Fourth and Colorado location. Paul is doing much better than other Pop stars at 80. Frank Sinatra was pretty disappointing according to those who paid money to see him plus a person I met wrote a paper on him saying his last wife ran things; she used medication to turn him “on” and “off” to generate revenue.

But today is about Paul and congratulation to him for living so long. Now if he’d tell his hordes of fans/worshippers to stop shoving the Beatles down my throat and telling me to collapse on my knees to thank the gods for them inventing everything! It’s why I call the Fab Four the North Korea of Pop Music. I don’t blame Paul and Ringo for this, it’s their diehard fans, especially the ones born too late to be actual first-generation of fans. Paul should be grateful that Ayn Rand’s missionaries and the Turdcoats pushing the boring Firefly show are worse.

His recent solo album McCartney III was pretty decent, not as appealing as his run in the Seventies yet not as boring as everything he did between 1985 to 2020. Working with producer Youth didn’t help in the Aughts; Youth almost ruined Crowded House in 1993. I can’t put my finger on why I didn’t like Flaming Pie, Flowers in the Dirt or Egypt Station. I just couldn’t sit through them. Nothing was appealing nor interesting. It’s a shame too. I loved his Seventies work all the way up to Tug of War, the latter was one of the first albums I received 40 years ago for my birthday. Many people shit on Tug due to the schmaltzy and lazy “Ebony and Ivory” hit he did with Stevie Wonder, oddly, you rarely hear it anywhere. I will give the critics the easy win there much like I do with the title tack on Hotel California. This hatred unfortunately blinds them to the superior tracks “Take It Away” and the better Wonder contribution, “What’s That You’re Doing?” Brian Wilson recently covered “Wanderlust” a decade ago which gave Paul’s odd ballad further listening reconsideration from me. I only wish he gave his blessing to the tribute Listen to What the Man Said due to all the heavy hitters contributing: The Finn Brothers, Sloan, Semisonic, They Might be Giants and Barenaked Ladies. The profits were donated to a charity fighting the cancer that killed Linda. I do applaud Paul’s willingness to collaborate to this day, namely singing lead vocals on a tune Steve Martin wrote called “Best Love” and I stumbled upon him covering “I’m Partial To Your Abracadabra,” for a tribute album dedicated to Ian Drury and the Blockheads. There’s numerous stories about him riding the bus around NYC too when he could have a personal car taking everywhere. I doubt it’s the stingy Scotsman in his DNA. To me this dismisses accusations of Paul having a huge ego. I’m confident he has one larger than many. I just don’t think it’s on the same scale as other, less talented shit birds. Kanye West quickly comes to mind.

Happy Birthday Paul! I’m glad you weren’t buried and had a doppelgänger take your place in the late Sixties. Such silliness is another example and major explanation for why weed is called dope.

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Bob Garfield hangs up his headphones

Damn! Just when I thought his podcast Bully Pulpit was picking up traction, Bob decided to throw in the towel because there weren’t enough paid subscribers and it’s hard to do something for free successfully in a universe with thousands of competitors; when I set out to do Gifts of the Maggi, I already conceded Marc Maron is the king. I’m guilty on being stingy too. Given this economy and all the house renovations, money is tight. We can also thank  Fed Chairman Jerome Powell for jacking rates 3/4 of a point. Should I get the usual paltry cost-of-living increase, the One Percenters ruling Amerika already spent it for me.

Anyway, Bob is nearing retirement as well. He will continue to write columns and those will appear in my e-mail box, huzzah! It just won’t be the same though. On Bully Pulpit, he didn’t pull punches, he called a lie a lie and said what many of us were thinking, may the NRA and their Republican/NeoLiberal stooges burn in Hell. The biggest surprise was him revealing what went down at WNYC and On the Media over the last few years, especially after Girth Vader was elected. I remember the special episode involving him arguing with executive producer Katya Rogers and Brooke Gladstone the day after HRC’s brutal defeat. It seems his warning “…may we not all be on a ship of fools” sealed his fate with those two assholes and the thin-skinned Millenial staffers; how dare Bob get angry at a producer for doing the opposite of what they were instructed to do, thinking they could get away with it at the last minute or continuing to push a shit story they’ve been told “no” about five times. I do hope Bob gets a big-ass settlement from WNYC which involves the firing of Rogers and Gladstone since OTM lost sight of its original mission some years ago. The show was supposed to be about all the different forms of Media involving the economics (papers collapsing left and right today), the new tech (how FeceBook steals its content), the controversies, its History, so on. Instead, too often, over half an episode would be hijacked for three weeks via a crap piece about homeless goat-fucking Tibetan basket weavers since All Things Considered had the nerve not to appease the same Millenial producer and their pet project.

Thanks for everything Bob! I’m going to miss you and your swan song show was awesome. Keep fighting the good fight to the end.

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My pledge reward for indy station WMFU!

Another radio station proving that the problem isn’t technology, it’s content! I found out via Milk & Cheese’s creator Evan Dorkin how to get this unique thank-you gift if I donated a chunk of change to WMFU, a great station nested in the public part of the FM band. Like so many other indies run by non-profit entities, it has more balls than those owned by universities. Sure, I generally enjoy KUTX but in the end, it remains a refuge for Austin’s has beens when they get canned by our wasteland of money grubbers; the terribly boring Jody Denberg of K-Geezer fame namely, “Boomer, I don’t care how many times you’ve seen Paul McCartney, it just makes my point on how your generation needs to go away.” Plus universities both public and private still carry NPR’s Centrist luggage, crap shows and cower whenever some Right Winger bitches.

WMFU is closer to the spiel I used to hear from other Marquette clods on what WMUR should be. “We should play anything! Jazz, Blues, Rap, blah blah blah…” Firstly, I always saw through their argument as cover for, “It’s why I should get to play the same fucking Led Zeppelin songs we’ve all heard a million times, making my show just a clone of the three terrible Classic Rock stations in Milwaukee.” Secondly, we staffers would use verbal judo on them by asking, “OK, so you’re good with being the host for this hypothetical three-hour Jazz segment we should be airing?” Marquette being a school filled with mostly Black and White middle-class teens from Chicago and Milwaukee, we knew the response was “Uhh…well, no. Not me but someone.” Being a know-it-all 19-20 year old, I followed up with the coup de grace, “Alright then, when you find someone who really knows their Jazz as well as 60-year-old aficionado, call us. Otherwise, we don’t need to be generating more ASCAP money for Robert Plant and Jimi Page.”

However, I just love the idea that there’s a DJ keeping Polka alive with sincerity and conviction, not to be an ironic Hipster. Before you ask, I have listened to Stashu’s show. I was a tad bummed to hear non-Polka tunes creep up occasionally yet it’s her show and as someone who also likes to make mixes via KMAG, you gotta’ do something daring to break up the routine and surprise the audience! Besides, if Evan Dorkin endorses Dance with me, Stanley! I trust his suggestions, he has always been kind to me on Twitter and if it helps out a friend or something he loves, I’m all in.

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What became of Arnold and Helga?

Well obviously they got married! Duh! This awesome piece of fan art was made by the same person behind the recent Simpsons couch gag last season. I hope you all remember, it’s the one with the kids being teens, having a party in the living room but they scatter to hide as the parents come home to watch TV. It’s so awesome as I like what the artist did for Lisa’s future outfit.

Meanwhile, I love how Helga remains taller than Arnold and she’s moved her trademarked pink bow from her head to her neck on her business suit. I figured she took over her dad’s pager business and transformed it into a cellphone provider that sells iPhones, Galaxies, Jitterbugs and the competition because Helga exceeds at customer service…contrary to her cranky nature as a child. She did it all for Arnold though! They continue to live at the boarding house and not in a fancy mansion. When his grandparents passed, Arnold took over instead of taking a big check from an evil developer. Not only to defend his childhood home but to provide affordable housing as the neighborhood gets gentrified.

I can dream. If King of the Hill is returning and there are rumors about the characters being moved forward in time, aka they’re going to age, why not pitch Hey Arnold! The Next Generation. I’m sure it’ll do better than Nickelodeon’s disappointing Netflix entries for Invader Zim and Rocko’s Modern Life. Not sure if Rugrats in 3-D is going over well on Paramount+ too. I’m confident Arnold could progress and return since the unnamed city the characters lived in was a character in its own right. The only stretch remains getting the audience to believe there are parts of America which are zoned to allow mixed use like Oceanside in Bob’s Burgers.

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