Week 21 of NHL 2005-6

Team USA did even worse in the medal round against Finland. Getting knocked out was one thing, but the 30 minutes of penalties, poor play and poor sportsmanship followed by a temper tantrum from Mike “Lady” Modano was unacceptable. Team Canada faired badly too by being eliminated in the first round by Russia. Herb Brooks was and always will be right, superstar teams don’t work. Congratulations to Sweden, Finland and Czech Republic with their medals and proof that finesse hockey beats the bullying, brutal style that dominates the NHL. 
 
I am convinced that sending the professionals to represent the USA is a mistake. Losing at hockey and basketball are one thing. Losing in bad form is insulting and a black eye. I don’t know about basketball but I think from now on, the US sends only players under 25 who are willing to make the sacrifice of leaving their lucrative NHL contracts for a few weeks. Then they can practice, bond and cooperate like a real team. I would also throw in one last mandatory requirement: these players must be good sports and have fun. It’s just a game anyway and if they lose, the USA won’t be descredited, George W. Bush and Co. have already succeeded. 
 
No new developments about the Penguins leaving Pittsburgh but the smart money is on them doing it. The Devils have a new rink with another city lined up in New Jersey. Works for me since they have the state in their name, not a city so the change is seamless. But Paul Allen and other western interests want an NHL team in Portland or Seattle so the Penguins are the new target. Personally I’m cheering for Portland to keep that “P” sound. Portland Penguins! Easy. Seattle Penguins? Nah. Hopefully they won’t have to change their name like the Jets, Nordiques, North Stars, Whalers and Scouts did (cheap prize to whoever can tell me what the current names of those teams are first in the comments!). They can remain the same like the Flames. 
 
Meanwhile, I told my more knowledgeable ex-roommate Paul that I had the solution to re-align the NHL teams should the move happen. Here it is. First, in the Western Conference you’d have the three divisions based upon time zones instead: Pacific, Mountain and Central; then you break up the teams like so. 
 
Pacific: Vancouver, LA, Anaheim, SJ and Portland 
Mountain: Calgary, Edmonton, Colorado, Phoenix and Minnesota (I know they’re Central, but they have to go somewhere) 
Central: Detroit, Chicago, STL, Nashville and Dallas 
 
With the Pens going west, someone from the East has to come over. I would’ve preferred Detroit but they make too much money in their current conference so that means the lame Blue Jackets come over. Here’s how to reorganize the East: Atlantic, East and Southeast. 
 
Southeast: Carolina, TB, FL, DC and Atlanta (no change) 
Atlantic: Philly, NJ, NYR, NYI and Boston (that city touches the Atlantic ocean like the other four) 
East: Columbus, Buffalo, Toronto, Montreal and Ottawa 
 
I think the West will toughen up with the shuffle since the Central division is a joke outside Detroit and Nashville. Vancouver moving to the Pacific will also shake up LA, SJ and Phoenix. Maybe Columbus will benefit from playing the Eastern game too.