Alignment clarification example

Every Monday, I do the minimal amount of exercise the nurse from my cholesterol screening told me to do, 30 minutes of walking briskly. Faster than a normal walk but not like those dudes in the Olympics who should be wearing high heels. I know I should do more but it may soon change if we get a Wii Fit this week. Today, I made Somara tag along because she didn’t have to be anywhere…and she keeps saying I need to make her participate. Translation: nag and hound her.

My usually route is South on Ora Lane until I hit the last street, turn West and then weave back n’ forth on the rest of the streets perpendicular to Ora. Usually I only cover half of them because 30 minutes is the limit. Besides, Monday is chore day at home.

Today, we made it about half way up Ora when Somara found a dollar on the ground. Sweet! Another buck to put into our vacation fund since we need to make a deposit this week. This walk was looking up. Normally, I only find beat-up pennies, maybe a dime or a nickel. A few minutes later, we ran into some of the local kids waiting for the bus (we did get going rather early). One of them was acting rather frantically. He asked us if we found a dollar. We responded “where?” When his description matched the location (more or less], Somara gave it to him. The kid probably needed it more than we did.

This brought up the humorous debate over alignments in D&D. We did the expected behavior of Lawful Good, Chaotic Good, Neutral Good and Lawful Neutral. Neutral is in the air and I think it’s a lame cop-out choice. Here’s how it breaks down and maybe this will clarify some things with the players in my campaign by setting everyone’s expectations.

1. Lawful Good: Return the dollar. The description matches enough, it’s the right thing to do and why bully a kid.
2. Chaotic Good: Return the dollar. The description matches enough, it’s only a buck and the kid isn’t from a rich, evil family oppressing the peasants.
3. Neutral Good: Return the dollar. The description matches enough, it’s the right thing to do and he looks nervous about it.
4. Lawful Neutral: Return the dollar. The description matches enough so it doesn’t appear to be a lie plus do unto others is a maxim for this mindset.
5. Chaotic Neutral: Return the dollar? Depends. The description matches enough but how badly does the kid need it? Could be a jerk and lie, the usual course of action with most players. If a follower of Olidammara would definitely return it unless it were a rich kid since they also assist the poor.
6. Neutral Evil: Won’t return the dollar. The description matches yet inflicting some pain on the kid is part of the plan. Maybe return half and call the lost fifty cents a “finder’s fee.” Still, keeping as much as possible is the main plan because it’s “all about me.”
7. Lawful Evil: Won’t return the dollar. The description matches but possession is nine-tenths of the law. Besides, according to the skewed social Darwinism of LE, the kid lost the buck and those are the breaks.
8. Chaotic Evil: Won’t return the dollar. The description matches and so what! From pain and suffering comes growth. CE can put the dollar to better use, especially if it harms even more people. You can bet your best d20, lying about it will be Plan A upon any further questions from the kid.
9. “True” Neutral: Anything goes. But as DM, I will be ticking notches on the PC’s card of Evil, Good, Lawful and Chaotic acts.  

For those of you who don’t play D&D, get a laugh since this has been a bone of contention for 30+ years in the game. Makes you wonder why anyone still keeps playing. The new Fourth Edition is trying to do away with them but it’s harder than it sounds since they’re critical to a few of the core classes (professions).