Fifteen years ago my two friends Paul and Helen made their marriage official. Official? Well, ever since their first date in 1986, they’ve acted like a married couple, especially in the arguing department: The Redskins v. the Bears, Chicago v. Washington, DC, etc. Everyone knew they’d wed, just not exactly when until Paul proposed to her in public. I’ll leave it to them to tell it since I cannot recall the exact details: was it the Bulls, Blackhawks, Wolves or someone else’s game?
Things kicked off on Friday night for me with an anxious, optimistic drive from Peoria (work) to Gurnee (‘burb bordering WI). Why such feelings? Cindy agreed to be my guest to the wedding on my birthday and we hadn’t seen each other since 1986. There were a few phone calls and letters before then but getting actual face time was nearly impossible until this. Jose was flying in from Orlando too. I really missed him after he left Milwaukee in 1991. Things were looking up for him in 1993; he had decent gigs working at the Fox and PBS stations. This Silder wedding was definitely morphing into a Marquette-Mashuda reunion on a grand scale. The drive was even more ingrained into my memory because I had just completed WMAG #10 which ends with Paul McCartney’s “A Little Luck.” The mix ended perfectly as this song queued up just as I was parking my car into the restaurant to meet Phil and Cindy. It even ended serendipitously as I turned off the engine! Definitely a positive omen!
We hung out, met Jill, had a couple drinks and then retired at Phil’s place to get ready for a very busy Saturday. The morning was spent picking up Jose from Midway; for my fellow Central Texans think of driving from Temple to Bergstrom and back. Jill and Cindy had never met our friend the Hoser, but they were curious to see if our stories about him rang true, mainly his use of the word “dude.” I made a bet that he’d say it within 10 words after spotting us. He did it in five! Jose was initially bewildered over why we were laughing. He was a good sport when I explained in the car.
Once we dropped off Jose’s stuff at Phil’s pad, we spent the remainder of Saturday in Milwaukee showing the ladies our former home: parts of the Marquette campus, the nicer bars on the East Side and a visit with Nelson. During the reminiscing, Jose started the tradition of coining a vacation/reunion catch phrase: Once a week, he had a voluntary, overnight shift with a public-college radio station that played a PSA starring those crash-test dummies from the TV ads. The gist of this one was a foreign-language lesson parody. If you don’t wear a seat belt, be prepared to learn new phrases such as the inside joke “Oosh! My face!” Certainly a favorite I haven’t thought about until lately and hearing Cindy say it was the funniest.
Sunday was the big celebration on the South Side. With our wedding clothes in my car, we rushed down to the hotel to change. We bumped into “Doomsday” Eugene (Paul’s dad) in the lobby. I asked him how Paul was doing. “Paul’s fine, he busy playing golf right now.” Then I must’ve been brain dead because we dudes left to get some White Castle while the ladies changed. This made us late for the actual wedding. I think we came in during the readings yet still in time for Catholic aerobics (see Judy Tenuta). Helen and Paul definitely had a real Chicago-Southsider wedding because the priest updated everyone on the result of the Bears game during the homily. As expected, they lost.
We're sober. The photographer couldn't get us all into the shot unless we huddled.
As the new couple had to endure the barrage of photography, we headed to the reception hall for the open bar. The meal was impressive too. I spent a good part of the evening catching up with other Marquette-based guests: Brian “Slats” Slattery with his wife Jody, John Rossman (in law school), Julie Sandine, Chris Morrissey (no relation to the mopey singer), Helen’s sisters and Paul’s childhood friends. When they were introduced by the MC as the “new” Silders to Van Halen’s “Love Walks In.” I wondered how that compromise was made due to their disparate musical tastes. The more amazing spectacle of the evening was witnessing Paul dancing! Normally Paul never did this in college. He always felt awkward due to his linebacker physique. Meanwhile, I got my money’s worth out of the tux I rented even if you can’t see it in the photo. How I scored a purple one was pure luck. Helen said I couldn’t wear the same color as the groomsmen (black), thus she said tradition required me to wear the opposite but I would receive a nastier pummeling if it were white. When the rental place offered purple, I leapt at the opportunity. It was both a predictable and outrageous move in Helen’s eyes. Trust me though, it was a tasteful ensemble like a black tuxedo, not some Prince-like get up.
The official ceremonies ended around 10 PM so we could carry on at the hotel. In honor of our days as room- and wingmates; Phil, Jose and I filled our room’s tub with ice to store the beer in a makeshift cooler. Paul thought it was a nice touch to remind him of those days in Tower and Mashuda Hall. We later joined the Silders in room hopping to visit all the friends staying there.
Monday morning was the end and it was sad to say goodbye. Phil I’d see off and on until I left for Austin. Jose would be next Summer for Nelson’s wedding in Milwaukee and Cindy was 1997 when she came to see me. The Silders, I kept seeing once a month. Their wedding’s long-term effect on me was re-evaluation on why I remained in Central Illinois because it was making me miserable, especially in the wake of the area being a dating desert. I wasn’t in any hurry to get married but I figured I should’ve been on the rebound after Carrie sooner than two years. At least the Silders gave me a good blueprint on how I would like my wedding to flow. The movie Bachelor Party is funny…just not if you’re in the Tom Hanks role.
So they’ve been married for 15 years. According to Wikipedia the gift for them is either crystal or watches. Who comes up with this crap? Crystal what? Watches are even dumber because most people already have several. If I manage something for them, I’ll have to be inventive like I was on cotton for the Lowrys. No, I will not do something goofy such as giving them a Crystal Gayle CD or a case of Crystal Lite drink mix. Helen did want that Plankton watch from Burger King during the Spongebob movie promotion. I love her to death yet eBay would require a second mortgage.
If you know them, drop them a line. Otherwise, I hope you found the story amusing. I need to see if they’ll get the videotape of the reception digitized. I think there’s two versions. The official one from the photographer and the other shot by Helen’s older sister Jeanne.