Christmas is over and that means Picayune reminisces (or navel gazes) about past holiday breaks. I thought I started doing this in 2006 but it originated during 2007 when I probably spent more hours hanging out at Blue Marble (sadly it folded in the last year) and had larger gaps between calls with work. I only went back 30 years because my memory is hazy until I reached Kindergarten and even then, I can remember key events. How I wish I kept a better log of the past and/or had the means like I do today. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be yet I can try by rewinding 35 years on the fourth installment.
For me, 1975 was the GI Joe Christmas.
Before Star Wars took over as the standard on male toys from 1977-84, things were up for grabs. Mego had its licensed lines (Star Trek, Planet of the Apes, DC and Marvel) but their stuff wasn’t very durable; Kenner had The Six Million Dollar Man stuff; Mattel had Big Jim (yawn); Marx’s Johnny West line was fading; Fisher-Price was for babies; and Ideal was a fat goose egg.
This left Hasbro with its retooled GI Joe lineup as the coolest thing around.
Let me elaborate though since people’s minds have been colored by the recent arrival of the Hub network, a horrible cartoon series in the Eighties and a shitty Summer Event movie.
Back in the Seventies, the outcome of Vietnam made GI Joe somewhat unpopular and the first oil-price hikes in 1973 made the doll/action figure more expensive. Thus, Hasbro toned down the war angle. By the time I was old enough to play with more sophisticated toys, GI Joe was an adventurer hunting for lost treasures, defeating monsters, etc. He became James Bond without the enemy or spying element. Hasbro also modified the product line to stay contemporary: he had a bionic ally called Atomic Man, an alien friend/superhero type named Bullet Man; and some weird caveman enemy from space. Plus the novelty Kung-Fu grip.
Accessories were what really got my brother and me hooked. GI Joe was a male Barbie! He had bases, a hang-glider, vehicles, helicopters, a mini-sub and actions sets. Outfits came with guns too.
Mom made the pitch for the stuff in 1974 but I wouldn’t budge then. I pined for a Mego Robin figure. Why? I’m not sure. Couldn’t have been Burt Ward’s acting and I didn’t have much access to the comics then. I got it though. However, Mego’s poor quality assurance had the toy in the trash by this Christmas so GI Joe was a welcome replacement.
Brian and I each received the equivalent of a starter guy. He had Kung-Fu grip, muscles, a rifle, beard, boots and uniform. Being the oldest, mine was Joe, Brian’s had various names but he wasn’t a twin. Then I got the Atomic Man who resembled an anatomy model more than an action figure since his cybernetic leg and arm were exposed; explains why he wore shorts to the battlefield. The package said his name was Mike Powers, so it was his permanent moniker in our numerous space-action operas. For parity purposes, Brian got another GI Joe of the older-style; in a box, rifle-ready hands, brown uniform, no beard and he was Black (here I agree with The Economist and Wanda Sykes). Having little to no exposure to Black Americans beyond an occasional classmate, popular music and television, he always had the surname of Jackson. Comical and sad. At least he was never a villain in our sagas, just the trustworthy best friend like Battlestar Galactica‘s Col. Tigh.
Our grandparents covered some accessories: SCUBA diving gear and something with a jumpsuit. I’m confident they gave the ‘rents money and said, pick something you know the boys will want.
Santa left the piece de resistance, the mini-sub, aka The Sea Wolf, which allegedly could submerge and surface in a wading pool or bath tub. We never had the opportunity to prove the packaging’s claims. By the time we did try, most of the major pieces to make it work were lost through our childish carelessness.
As for the rest…I’m sure we kids had a great time. Our family was still in transition from the move to Champaign-Urbana which meant we didn’t mind hanging out at Grandma’s for the majority of the time, there were no new friends to share the new loot with. We may have tried to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. We probably drove our grandparents nuts. They were in their late sixties, early seventies by then and dealing with a five and seven-year old was too much.
Looking back, it does appear to be a rather shallow Christmas if all I could go on about was the toys. In my defense though, I was seven. At that age, I didn’t eat much, there weren’t many appropriate movies to see, cable TV didn’t carry kid-friendly stuff beyond PBS and videogames were in their infancy. I wasn’t paying much attention to the world around me yet neither. Having read more about the Seventies lately, it’s a good thing I was ignorant about current events then. Growing up on a routine of anti-depressants would’ve sucked.