Seven years later, 300 receives a sequel. A “coquel” is what many seem to call Rise because this movie depicts how Themistocles and the Athenian navy kept Leonidas and his 300 Spartans from being flanked by the Persians. Any further facts to the story evaporate pretty quickly. The Onion review was pretty critical about the characters’ ranting on how this was a war for freedom when the Greeks practiced slavery. I think the reviewer missed the point. Americans have a D+ average at History and Civics, otherwise Zack Snyder, Tom Clancy and Aaron Sorkin would be unemployed. Rise fuels the continued misinformation but the History Channel, A&E and TLC do more ongoing damage by airing the Adventures of America’s White Trash.
Back to the movie…
It begins with a long exposition that makes Tolkien seem brief. We see what happened at Marathon ten years earlier, why the Persians want to invade again, how Xerxes transformed from a wimpy king to a Lady Gaga wannabe and the story of Artemisia, the Greek admiral advising Xerxes. Next, Themistocles convinces Athens to gather its forces to defend Greece despite the other city states bowing out or trying to go it alone. Unlike the Spartans, the Athenians are citizen soldiers who aren’t well trained nor have much battle experience. Based upon the blood, guts, violence and gratuitous slow-motion shown on the screen, the Athenians prove to be pretty formidable as they defeat several Persian waves trying to get a beachhead. There’s some conversation, flashback and a sex scenes to break up the monotony. One cool element the producers brought in was the actual one-mile bridge of boats the Persians used to shave a year off the journey to invade.
Did I like it? More than I expected. I just know it isn’t for everyone. The D&D geek in me found some inspiration from Rise. My History gene was left at home, I knew it would be annoyed.
Alamo Extras: The Robot Chicken gag 1776 as if it went like 300, a Leonidas exercise video, a horrible parody combining 300 with United 97, a Lego version of 300, the trailer for 300 Spartans and a great joke from Honest Trailers.