I went ahead and paid the money to the two artists above to be immortalized as a member of the Simpson universe. My mustache covers up the style’s trademarked overbite but I think Phil Ortiz did a great job incorporating me. Poor Tom Cook had to find a way to balance out my predominantly gray beard with my still brown hair as he colored. I love it.
The sketch of me is a good reminder to keep hitting the gym and lose a lot of weight. Not only am I well over Homer’s considerable weight of 239, I bear a creepy resemblance to Comic Book Guy. Maybe I will be mistaken as his older brother or a cousin. Ugh.
One horrible anecdote to this. I politely took my spot in queue for Phil to render me and then that fat, ass-smelling, pile of monkey crap…and now accused sexual harasser Harry Knowles cut in line. I uncharacteristically let it slide and figured Phil had been following the news. As much as Knowles disgusts me, the accusations need to go through due process and not a trial by public opinion.
I hope to look better next year should the opportunity arise at WizWorld Austin ’18.