Ahoy mateys! It’s one of the goofiest celebrations around and can be difficult to pull off if English isn’t your first language. I’ve learned via my friend Jeremy, the Dutch are stumped even though their ancestors contributed to this wonder, romanticized historical period during the 16th and 17th centuries. Plus the whole manner of speaking “like a pirate” was invented by English actor Robert Newton for Disney’s 1950 version of Treasure Island when he played Long John Silver.
I used to love being in Las Vegas for it too. No longer. The doofus who bought the Treasure Island casino/hotel from the inept MGM/Mirage corporation shortened the name to TI, ditched the pirate battle attraction and transformed the joint into a giant honky tonk. There’s nothing wrong with the new theme, just change the name entirely so everybody is clear on the pirate element being gone.
Here’s what I recommend you doing if wearing the clothes, talking like a pirate and/or eating the greasy, fried food at Long John Silver’s isn’t feasible. Watch the best version of Treasure Island…the one starring the Muppets and Tim Curry. Or watch Yellowbeard on Amazon Prime starring members of Mel Brooks’ crew, Monty Python, Cheech & Chong, Peter Cook, David Bowie and a guy who resembles Adam Ant because the singer bailed on the role. Or Pirates starring Walter Matthau despite it being directed by sex offender Roman Polanski. Or Pirates of Penzance with Kevin Kline and Linda Ronstandt. Or the Ice Pirates with Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Ron Perlman, Anjelica Huston, John Matuszak and John Carridine; I have this on Blu-Ray somewhere. Or lastly, if you can find it, the TNT movie Pirates of the Silicon Valley with Anthony Michael Hall as Bill Gates and John DiMaggio as Steve Ballmer.
Catch ya’ next yerrrrrrrrrr!