The conclusion to my 43rd birthday Alamo double-feature celebration, and it turned out to be Grindhouse 2011…Captain America was the stronger, more enjoyable action-based romp as the first feature (Planet Terror) and this was the drawn-out, disappointing conclusion I couldn’t wait to be over (Deathproof).
Now sometime during the late 19th century, a man suddenly wakes up in the New Mexican Desert wearing a weird bracelet and has no recollection about all the previous events leading up to this. We thankfully discover it’s not The Hangover III when our hero is discovered by a trio of late-19th century bounty hunters/desperadoes. Here the mystery man opens a can of whoop ass because they thought about killing him instead of lending assistance. (Times haven’t changed in the American southwest if you can’t find your driver’s license.) Afterwards, the protagonist heads toward the closest settlement…Absolution (cue the ironic music) and hits the nearest saloon. Patrons quickly recognize him as Jake Lonergan, a wanted robber and probable killer. So he gets a free stay in the town’s hoosegow until Federal marshals take him to Santa Fe. His capture draws the attention of the local cattle baron Dolarhyde, the town’s wealthiest resident and de facto ruler. Dolarhyde had some money stolen in a recent stagecoach heist; rumor has it Jake and his gang are the culprits. Therefore Dolarhyde plans to take the law into his own hands. Before the sheriff can ease the tension, a series of bright lights appear at Absolution’s edge, blink out and then the explosions start. It’s the alien invasion element in the title! Things blows up. People get abducted or killed. The town is a wreck. Dolarhyde forms a posse to rescue his son and Jake comes along due to the bracelet turning out to be the only effective weapon against the invaders. What they find; what motivates the aliens; how the action unfolds; they’re all answered as you watch.
Normally when Hollywood chooses to make an obscure comic book into a film, they go with a shakier premise and/or character (Tank Girl, From Hell, The Watchmen and the upcoming Chew) which seals its doom. This didn’t matter here since it borrowed from other movies/genres general audiences are comfortable with: Westerns, alien invasions and the man-with-no-name-or-memory who can kick asses. The trailer nailed it for me back in the Spring so I was like, (in the Lumpy Space Princess voice) “Oh, oh, oh, oh! I want to see this. Put it on our Alamo list!” Even the cast borders on perfect if this were exclusively a Western: Clancy Brown, Sam Rockwell, Keith Carradine and the legendary Buck Taylor. Unfortunately C&A flows like a boring GURPS tournament event using the Old West and High Tech rules. Then again, the mere mention of GURPS incites boredom in most gamers so my description is a tad redundant.
The lead actors don’t help. Daniel Craig is awesome as James Bond. Harrison Ford had his day 30 years ago. I have to agree with The Onion‘s criticism on how they’re too similar to work together effectively. It created a dampening result, not an awesomeness factor by having two generations’ heroes team up. My next gripe is another wooden performance from Olivia Wilde which I think director Jon Favreau just copied and pasted from Tron: Legacy. Her presence moves the plodding story forward in a deus ex machina fashion.
One good thing I will say in closing about C&A is the aliens. These malevolent beings have come to Earth for a good and tangible reason. Current invasion flicks have followed ID4‘s lead for 15 years: they show up, kill everything, appear invincible and get defeated. We never know what they wanted. It was a novel approach…the first couple times. Today’s fare consisting of recent flops Skyline, The Battle for Los Angeles and the upcoming The Darkest Hour resemble Gorenography more than Sci-Fi. War of the Worlds gets a pass, the novel states the Martians’ attempts to “terraform” the Earth.
Worth Seeing? Not in a theater at $7 apiece during the matinee showings. Netflix streaming, DVD or Cable? At least you didn’t spend much. You may miss out on the fun Alamo pre-show stuff to get you in the mood: trailers for Timerider and Westworld, some cheesy segment showing cowboys trying to take down a T-Rex…I could’ve done without Harrison Ford being interviewed by David Letterman; these nice touches did lessen the disappointment.