MTV began today in 1981, then sucked by 1984

Maybe it’s no mistake that MTV’s first day on the air coincides with the Charles Whitman murder spree. MTV has done a great job at murdering good taste, intelligence and, most of all, music.

MTV sucking wasn’t always so. Back when my family moved to Houston in 1982, we were pretty excited about getting cable TV since we heard from the neighbors that it came with over 30 channels, compared to it just filling up the VHF part (channels 2-13 for those of you born in the Eighties). I had also heard my classmates at Strake Jesuit raving about the new Cheap Trick video for “She’s Tight.” After the cable TV was installed, my brother and I checked out MTV right away. It wasn’t too weird because we had seen Video Jukebox on HBO for years but that show was used to fill time between movies. MTV was constant videos whenever there wasn’t a commercial [few then] or a VJ blathering needlessly; only Alan Hunter was amusing.

Within weeks my parents were yelling at me for watching it too much. What did they expect? I was 14, living in a new city (almost another country), going to a private school with a student body that came from all over Houston and we didn’t exactly live in a neighborhood conducive to making new friends. Besides, Comedy Central, the SciFi Channel, Cartoon Network and original content on Nickelodeon were another decade away.

The early years of MTV were great too. As FM radio started its slide into replacing AM for crappy commercialism and the Boomer Classic Rock backlash was in its infancy, MTV truly was a bastion for new bands to get attention. I still take issue with the old farts who complained about acts they claimed had bad music yet strong videos. It usually meant Duran Duran and they were jealous because Led Zeppelin, even if they were still together, would just recycle footage from The Song Remains the Same movie. Sniping aside, MTV did open my mind to bands I never would’ve liked back in Central Illinois such as Adam Ant, Split Enz, INXS, Squeeze (“Black Coffee in Bed” was play ad nauseum during our first month of MTV), the Producers, Fixx, the Sherbs and Talk Talk, just for starters. I wasn’t always a New Wave purist then because there were videos from Asia, Zebra and Pete Townshend I thought were awesome (I still enjoy their music).

The Summer of 1983 is when I saw what I could’ve become too if my family hadn’t moved to Houston and in some small way, MTV. We were back in Central Illinois for a month due to an ugly situation. Meanwhile, Cindy Nash (another story, my brother’s is the best) held a reunion party for our class of 30-35 kids; I know, completing eighth grade from St. Agnes, quite the milestone of achievement. It was exciting to see most of the kids I was friends with, yet rather horrifying to hear most of their tastes in music matching Jim Anchower’s. That could’ve been me getting stoked over an upcoming Triumph with Night Ranger concert. *Shudder!*

Sadly, MTV’s decline began pretty quickly by the mid Eighties. The Arena Rock bands started to make videos as bland as their music, Rap made its inroads for time, Metal was getting more play too and crap other than music was being shown to raise the ratings. Allegedly, just staying focused on music wasn’t enough so MTV’s metamorphosis into a lifestyle channel commenced with BritCom reruns, game shows and embracing the has-been publication Rolling Stone. All the hot air expended on MTV allegedly being influential and a touchstone for pop culture became the network believing its own hype. By the time I was in college, the channel was irrelevant to anyone over 13. It still had some high points worthy of attention: Beavis & Butt-Head120 Minutes (aka the Janet Jackson-free zone) Liquid Television and the Unplugged series of shows. Otherwise, it has been responsible for spawning reality show imitators, standup comedy overkill and prolonging Johnny Knoxville’s 15 minutes. This is definitely a case of the bad overwhelming any good that may have come from MTV.

Any hope of regaining what used to be through MTV2 and VH-1 Classics have been dashed too. The proliferation of commercials and recycled VH-1’s flaccid programming on VH-1 Classics this year was disheartening (this happened to NickToons too). They even ruined the replay of what was to be MTV’s first day on the air because it was masked with the equivalent of a Bush signing statement; it’s not the actual footage minute by minute, just the videos and with the VH-1-style captions. Disappointing since TV Land does snapshots of entire evenings of prime time network TV from the Seventies all the way down to the actual commercials.

Despite the replay’s inaccuracy, I have recorded the whole 24 hours on my DVR and hope to get it transferred off for the sake of nostalgia to share with my friends. I have only gone through the first hour to enjoy the snapshot of what used to be cool in 1981; REO Speedwagon, Rod Stewart, April Wine and .38 Special. Almost as funny as the dated fashions (remember those girls trying to look like Pat Benatar?). I did skip ahead to catch some glimpses of other performers which led to more laughter; Lee Ritenour, Cliff Richard and Carly Simon! Seems MTV wasn’t always a cool as it claimed. Just like when you find an embarrassing yearbook picture of the current class bully.

MTV is now 25 and it’s doubtful the annoying network will blow its own brains out at 27 like another creatively exhausted rock star. Too late if it did, MTV has cloned itself with MTV2, VH-1, localized MTVs in numerous countries (hard to believe they’re actually expending the energy for New Zealand) and now VH-1 Classic has picked up the disease. I can only hope my nieces, nephews and my friends’ children find MTV and its ilk to be as clueless as Rolling Stone was to me when I was a young adult.

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