An all Midwest Super Bowl this year

I didn’t catch either game since we don’t subscribe to the main networks on Dish and rabbit ears don’t help in this hilly part of Texas. I’m also being a stubborn hockey fan too but I didn’t have any real stake in the games’ outcomes. However, an all-Midwest Superbowl has a nice ring to it. Certainly better than the all New York one when it was the Bills versus the Giants. I have little sympathy for the championship losers because I’m not fond of New Englanders in general (they’re not called Massholes for humorous reasons). Okay, there’s the sympathy angle for New Orleans even if the team’s owner is a jerk like so many franchise owners (Paul Allen is the only I can think of who isn’t a total jerk). Sympathy or the Cinderalla angle may work in Disney movies, fat chance in the real world when the Super Bowl is on the line. Plus Reggie Bush still isn’t worthy of the Heisman being a “graduate” of the University for Spoiled Children.

So with some reservations, I will be siding with Da’ Bears because I despise Indianapolis on every level. My family and I lived in that third-rate city for ten months. Had I known my father would stupidly taken a new job in North Dakota, maybe I would’ve liked it more. Anyway, we moved to India-no-place around the same time the Baltimore Colts fled to be the star attraction of the new Hoosierdome. Other than the consistently awful NBA Pacers, this city didn’t have any major pro sports teams to go ape over. The mantra at the time was, “We have an NFL team, now we’re somebody! This will put Indianapolis on the map before and after Memorial Day weekend! (when the 500 happens)” My response was always, “Yeah right. Green Bay has had the Packers for decades and it’s still a dull, nowhere place.” I think Bears’ fans may consider a victory over the Colts to be revenge for losing to them in the Peyton Manning Derby almost a decade ago; my old roommate and Bears Fanatic Paul knows what I’m talking about. The residents of Naptown are probably enjoying this victory while they can since the Colts’ owner is probably threatening to move his team to Los Angeles if they don’t keep kissing his ass. Usually, I don’t get very upset for long when my teams lose though. So Marquette lost. Doesn’t mean my degree isn’t invalidated. So the Flyers are having the worst season of their 40-year history right now. Doesn’t mean the people of Philadelphia should kill themselves in a massive suicide pact (this goes for the Eagles, Sixers and Phillies). I guess that makes me a lesser fan for not being in a funk for weeks over my teams’ losing ways. I do grant an exception for Indianapolis when it comes to the Colts though (Pacers I just have pity for), should they lose and they will despite whatever Vegas says. When they lose, I will grant license to Bears fans to ridicule them, put Naptown up for autction to sell it to Canada, and any other cruel thing they want to say.

As for my reservations on backing the Bears? Being “ethnically” a Midwesterner (22.5 years in IN, IL and WI), Chicago fans are rarely good sports in winning and especially in losing. That Superfans skit on SNL wasn’t too funny to me neither, it was an annoying reminder of Chicago sports hubris. Back to my roommate Paul. He’s an awesome guy. He’s generous, disciplined with money and time management, and definitley a reliable friend when I was in need. Paul is the most knowledgeable sports fan I’ve ever met. When Da’ Bears, Da’ Bulls, or Da’ Cubbies (he is an optimist) are playing, his civility evaporates. Like many of his fellow Chicagoans, there is much yelling (really cursing), there is much cheering for injuries to happen to the other team, there is uncool taunting, etc. You can’t tell them, “Dude, relax, it’s just a game.” They’re not gracious in losing. Remember the foul-ball incident with the Cubs several years ago? I always recalled Paul’s answer not being pleasant when he was taunted with the expression “How ‘bout those Bears?” after they lost the year after their Super Bowl victory. Or how miffed Bulls fans would be in the Eighties when they’d brag about “Jordan scored 30 points last night!” only to be deflated with the reply from Bucks fans of “Sure, but they still lost by 25 right?” They’re immodest in victory too. They were already dreaming of commemorative plate sets for their “inevitable” NFL dynasty following the Super Bowl in 1986. I found the strings of repetitive championships in the NBA to be equally tiresome. I will concede, those were some impressive teams then but Michael Jordan wasn’t the NBA or the Messiah as he’s ridiculed in The Onion.

In the end, let’s hope this Super Bowl will be exciting, interesting and bare-breast free. I still have my hands full consoling all the Cowboys’ fans crying in their beers over Tony Romo’s blunder.

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