Forbidden Kingdom

“What took so long?” was my first reaction to this movie, especially when I stumbled upon the trailer last month; I don’t have cable/satellite which is why I didn’t know earlier. One would also think that two of the biggest stars in martial arts deserve a true Summer release date. Better late than never though since Jackie is in his fifties and probably retiring soon.

Jason is a White kid from South Boston obsessed with martial arts movies, namely the kitschy ones that used to be on Saturday afternoon TV in larger cities. Through Old Hop, an elderly man who runs a pawn shop in Chinatown, Jason has a place to feed his hobby: DVDs, cultural paraphernalia, etc. Too bad he’s only a fan, not a practitioner of kung fu as an encounter with a local bully demonstrates. Then comes a cliche circumstance to transport the protagonist to a mythical Chinese time period where (or when) he must free the Monkey King with the assistance of three heroic archetypes: the drunken master, the failed monk and an avenging orphan. Opposing them are the evil archetypes: the Jade Warlord, his Jade army and his right hand, a ruthless, flying white-haired witch.

As the heroic quartet travels across the Middle Kingdom (Earth) to confront the Jade Warlord, Jason has time to learn kung fu from the two masters in a really predictable montage; I couldn’t help but imagine the South Park song “Montage” in my mind. And just like all traveling-buddy pictures, there’s bickering, taunting and eventual bonding to explain why all four would risk their lives for each other.

It’s not Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which is probably why most professional movie critics panned or disliked this. Kingdom is trying to be a tribute to those Saturday-afternoon chop socky movies. It just has a larger budget (can’t see the wires!), an American set of bookends to the story and toned-down violence to get the PG-13 rating (really PG-level stuff). I only agree with the naysayers that Li and Chan probably deserve a better starring vehicle than some tweener-friendly matinee directed by the guy who did The Haunted Mansion and Stuart Little. In the director’s defense, Li and Chan’s charisma, chemistry and choreography overcome the petty criticism…no, my display isn’t covered in spit from that alliteration. I would change the excessive exposition Chan gives to the hero by shortening it or breaking it into smaller pieces throughout the film. The way it was presented didn’t work and it practically brought the film to a screeching halt: narrating isn’t one of Jackie’s strengths.

Worth Seeing? Yes. Even the most casual fan of action movies will be amused since it caters more toward those who enjoyed Rush Hour or Shanghai Knights. The diehards who prefer Drunken Master, Iron Monkey and Enter the Dragon may nitpick but they will probably be distracted at all the references sprinkled throughout it. With ticket prices going up again this Summer, I would put this in the Matinee or Budget Theater classification if you can’t wait for it to be on DVD this Fall.

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