1985: North Dakota or when my life “ended.”

To this day, I still ponder what the hell my father was thinking when he accepted a position in Beulah, North Dakota. The dust had barely settled since the move to Indianoplace a year earlier. It was also a decision the rest of us (Mom, Brian and me) were completely against but for some reason, he didn’t really care or may have been so pre-occupied that it clouded the rest of his judgment. The biggest culprit in this event was Ross Perot which is why he’ll always be an SOB to me.

I’ll rewind a bit. In 1984, Dad bailed on HL&P which prompted the move back to the Midwest in conjunction with Mom nagging to return. As much as Indianoplace sucked, it was a better location than the alternative…Kokomo, about an hour north and where his job really was. All I recall was him working for a contractor group which did data processing at a Delco factory. Delco at the time was owned by GM and they made lousy car radios. Enter Ross Perot with his company computer consultancy EDS. I recall EDS was now getting dibs on the CS/IT work due to him being a major investor in GM. Perot’s emissary offered everybody an opportunity to keep their jobs if they agreed to some rather draconian terms which were equal to indentured servitude. Dad chose not to accept because he had this former Houston friend/co-worker named Don who took something in North Dakota and rumor had it there was an opening. Too bad the lead was true. My old man jumped at it against everybody’s objections, including Mom’s, the most influential person in the family on where we live (they reside in North Carolina at her insistence to this day).

So Dad took the position right after 1985 began but had to start immediately. This left the three of us behind to wrap up the lease, pack, etc. The ridicule I got at school only heightened the agony of what was ahead and seeing the latest weather reports for North Dakota made suicide appear attractive. Ah the melodrama of being a teenager.

Before we left for ND, I probably committed my biggest, single act of teenage rebellion…staying out past curfew to see a midnight movie with friends. Pretty tame and/or lame compared to the antics my kid brother pulled off years later. Not to my hypocritical mother because it resulted in me being “kicked out of the house” (for one night), receiving some beatings from a wiffle-ball bat and a stern lecture from the old man over the phone. What did I care anyway? My life was over, I’d be better off dead. Still, it was a great time with Phil (Maxwood) and the others eating White Castles, joking around and hanging out. We never did see The Rocky Horror Picture Show as planned, the driver bailed shortly after we pulled into the parking lot.

Moving day arrived and a funeral would have been more lively. Two casualties left behind were pets. Our dog Louie had worn out his welcome and somehow Dad pawned him off on one of the movers. I recall Dad getting a phone call later about Louie biting the dude’s kid a day or so later. Odds favor Louie was put to sleep after the incident (I’ve never ever wanted a dog in my life after Louie too). Meanwhile, our cat Farah fared better. A family I never met (but Brian did) was enamored of her which makes me hope she died of old age unlike the dog. We did keep Farah’s offspring Teddy and Mewsette. They certainly made the car ride to Hell amusing; Hell was the frequently used term for ND.

With our belongings loaded, off we went. First stop was Grandma’s house in Bloomington, IL to surprise her again on our future whereabouts. I laughed at her warning about small-town kids being excellent students; it proved to be partially true, smart/intelligent people are a minority in all settings. The following day was spent traveling through Wisconsin and most of Minnesota, stopping in St. Cloud for the night. Brian and I did nothing but torment Dad about how backwards the place we were going to was. Good thing he focused on us as I’ll illustrate later.

Last year I wrote about certain songs getting permanently associated with unpleasant memories; I still can’t listen to the Romantics’ “Talking in Your Sleep” and not think about leaving Houston unwillingly. Well, the trek to ND became the gold standard in my mind (Grandma’s funeral is number two). Thankfully I never liked Wham since “Careless Whispers” is eternally linked to the lamentable journey. Same for Phil Collins’ “One More Night” and “Take me with U” by Prince. Good thing I didn’t have a Walkman filled with my personal favorites at the time.

After St. Cloud, we entered North Dakota. There was a brief stop in Fargo to eat and wander around what they called a mall. “This is it?” raced through my mind for hours. Had I known it was only going to get worse, I would’ve begged to live with my grandmother.

Then we drove across what was half the state to Bismarck and called it a day. The malicious ribbing at Dad continued with one classic exchange after another. My personal favorite went like this:

Brian: Hey what’s that place?
Dad: It’s (some store name I can’t remember).
Brian: What’s that?
Dad: It’s Service Merchandise (a department store in the Midwest) here.
Steve: Obviously the NoDaks are incapable of spelling Service Merchandise.
Laughter ensued from Brian and me followed by cursing from Dad.

D-Day followed. The journey from Bismarck to Beulah was short, around 90 minutes plus our destination was in the Mountain Time Zone, “giving” us an hour on the day. We arrived around noon locally and I will always remember seeing what appeared to be the entire town from the top of a hill upon arrival. How I should’ve retracted my digs at Fargo and Bismarck. Beulah proved there was someplace much worse.

Dad drove around to give us the whole tour. The mocking continued from Brian and me. However, Mom then ratcheted up the tension we had been causing the whole time to 11. Throughout most of drive, her comments were uneventful compared to the gems I spouted off. By Beulah, she was seething in silence and Dad stupidly asked her opinion; an exchange which lives in infamy:

Dad: Well Jane (a sign of irritation because he normally calls Mom Janie)? What do you think?
Mom: What can I say? Blech! Ugh! Ick!

A very heated argument ensued at the hotel, a Best Western! How swanky Beulah appeared. Mom got on the phone to call Grandma to tell her we were packing up the car and coming down there the following day. Dad talked Mom out of it by explaining the financial consequences of her choice; he had already paid a deposit on a house and we’d have to refund the relocation costs. Grudgingly, Mom agreed to stay and we teenagers didn’t have a choice.

The next week was rather tedious. Living in a hotel room with three other people and two (hidden) cats sucked! The day we thought Mewsette escaped was hair raising; turned out she discovered a hole in one of the box springs to go exploring in. Beulah’s choices for cable TV were weak: no MTV, no Nickelodeon and no HBO (Showtime was the weaker network then). To kill time on another day, we went to Bismarck. The cats had to come along which limited our options of amusement. Eventually, Brian and I were so bored we asked to start going to school. This didn’t shock Mom. I think she was jealous.

My few weeks at Beulah HS were alright. Compared to the previous four high schools I had already attended, classes were really easy. First hour was finishing my Astronomy via correspondence in the library (I never did); second was Algebra II with Mr. Stuart (he recently died, sadly he was younger than my dad); third was English III with Mrs. Hoffman; fourth was US History with Mr. Dittus; lunch for 90 minutes and then my last class with Mrs. Hoffman again, Novel. As long as I did all the reading, I was on cruise control toward As and Bs. I owe my success more to mastering high school, not any brilliance on my part. The teachers there were pretty dedicated though, something I didn’t expect because a big chunk of the kids joined the military or went into farming/mining right after graduation.

I made some friends; D&D/Sci-Fi/Comic Book nerds find each other easily. (I’ve even recently regained contact with two of them: Mike “Kosmos” Kormos and Jon Kulas. Another sadly passed away a while back, Jason Raeser (I may have misspelled his surname). There was also Darren Bjerke, Paul Compton and Scott Kollada). We usually hung out, killed time at each others’ houses or at Beulah’s convenience store with video games. The greatest times were Friday evenings when the gym was open for pick-up volleyball or basketball games. We nerdy square asses were always there playing until closing. The cool, ruling clique of Beulah HS was usually drinking and getting high somewhere else; my recollection would be some area managed by the Army Corps of Engineers where the local cops had no jurisdiction. I didn’t get to know these friends super well due the school year only having a few weeks remaining yet they eased the pain.

Being the uppity type I am, I made quick enemies with the Bluhm brothers, namely the one I had Novel with, David. He came off as a bully and when I ridiculed him in class one day, the (empty) threats followed.

Attending school while living in a hotel room ended shortly and we got to move into the house Dad leased. It was a rather impressive, customized joint too. The owner had it specially built due to all the money he was making during the construction of The Plant (what they called Dad’s workplace). He must have been insane thinking he’d ever sell it at a profit. Anyway, how customized? The two bedrooms for the owner’s kids were pretty specific. I won the coin toss to get the son’s room. Poor Brian was saddled with a larger one but decorated for a pre-teen girl. It had an enormous family room as well; the owner’s wife ran a daycare on the side. We celebrated Brian’s 15th birthday in it thanks to Beulah only having four known restaurants: a DQ, a pizza place (pretty good for “nowhere”), the Best Western (we had our fill earlier) and the Kozy Korner where “outsiders” weren’t welcome.

Other memories of the brief time:

• The long weekend to see eastern Montana. Never had I been to a town with a sign saying “Population: 95” before! It’s where I bought my first issue of Spin too.
• Spring Break in Winnipeg, MB. Being the math nerd, I was in charge of currency and volume conversions. It was great to be in a city again (half a million then) for shopping, dining out and whatever. Mom’s near miss on a speeding ticket almost blew the whole expedition.
• The weekend our parents left town to see Mt. Rushmore which is in SOUTH Dakota. Nothing eventful happened to me but Brian had some female visitors by his window on some dare thing.
• Brian was also budding into a regular Casanova too. In his brief time, he managed to go out with two Gilje sisters and dumped them both for a girl named Wynn Sorenson.
• My romantic fortunes were the same as everywhere else, lousy, yet I wasn’t trying that hard. I do hope Beka Royer’s life improved when she left town.
• During the drive to Minot for groceries, I saw two nuclear missile silos and thanks to the mediocre movie The Day After, they give me nightmares to this day. Reagan being president didn’t help and contributed to many sleepless evenings.
• Being puzzled over people just giving four digits for their phone numbers; everyone in Beulah had the same prefix.

I closed the semester out by attending the overnight graduation party in the gym. That year, all juniors (me) and seniors got to hang out in the gym from midnight until 7 AM to play sports, watch videos, etc., on a Sunday evening. Around 7 AM, the cafeteria served pancakes and then we went home. Being a junior, I still had to go to back to school for a full day. I should’ve skipped like some others. Beulah HS didn’t have this the following year when I graduated, a post for another day.

Despite all the side treks Mom enjoyed to other states/provinces which were close by in ND, none of them appeased her into staying for the Summer or later. When school ended for Brian and me, we were told to load up the car with our necessities (namely Brian’s stereo and favorite records in addition to clothes) in preparation to inevitably move into Grandma’s house. Little did I know the roller coaster would continue with it having me ending up back in Beulah. More about it in the Summer.

Twenty-five years later, it’s relatively easy to look back wistfully about those days. It wasn’t a complete disaster thanks to music on FM radio remaining good then so doing my homework to Power Station, Tears For Fears, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Phil Collins, Go West and Don Henley made life “bearable” between the frequent sprinkling of Wham, Madonna and Bryan Adams. We also weren’t the only “outsider” family in the area. The Plant needing a lot of outside expertise and I got to commiserate with teenagers from many parts of America. I feel the time spent there eventually resulted in a positive experience…it just took over a decade to sink in.