Before the apocryphal prequels, I remember my fellow fans always talking crap about Return of the Jedi being the worst movie of the trilogy. I felt they were being too harsh since their tirades centered around the Ewoks. The space teddybears were an annoying touch I agreed on yet I would point out how they were overshadowed by the space battle and the redemption of Darth Vader (blood is thicker than water) as he dumped the Emperor into the reactor. Even the villains of history are complicated people who don’t see themselves as evil was my rebuttal whenever they rolled their eyes over Vader’s change of heart. Lucas stabbed in the back on this by trying to make Anakin/Vader a sympathetic villain and doing poorly too.
This week, a silent partner in the Lucas Empire (the Lepidus is my guess), Gary Kurtz spoke out over the change in the franchise’s direction. His dig about George’s toy obsession certainly explains why The Phantom Menace sucked. Although The Empire Strikes Back is the most loved, it was such a downer when I was kid. (The ending was one of Kevin Smith’s only good jokes in Clerks.) Today, I completely agree on it being the best: the acting, the story, the moral ambiguity (how can Luke defeat Vader without becoming what he hates) and the good guys don’t win every time.
Years later, Kurtz’s proposals would be cooler today but he’s adding fuel to the “what if” fires certain nerds like to fan. What I read was impressive but I think it would’ve bombed in 1983. Attitudes changed as people were being brainwashed through Reagan’s shallow litanies which contributed to most people only liking films with “positive” outcomes: the nebbish hero gets the girl, “evil” is vanquished completely, etc. I’m not sure if focus groups were in use by then to secure Jedi‘s mediocrity. They certainly ruined Little Shop of Horrors (Audrey II ate Seymour and Audrey) and Pretty in Pink (Andy dumps Blaine and goes with Duck), the latter forced us to endure the carbon copy Some Kind of Wonderful. Kurtz’s story works with audiences of the late Sixties through Seventies who were acclimated to “negative” possibilities via Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid, The Parallax View and The Wild Bunch.
Here are the other myths I remember hearing or reading about on how the saga would pan out.
- Darth Vader wasn’t literally Luke’s father but Anakin’s clone. Hence Obi-Wan’s explanation had fewer holes in it.
- Lando would die in the Battle of Endor: as the Falcon escapes the Death Star II‘s access point, the flames engulf the ship and it explodes. Han’s comment earlier of, “I have a feeling I won’t see her again,” becomes foreshadowing.
- The Battle of Endor was originally going to be Kashyyk, the Wookie homeworld instead. Lucas only kept the Vietnam analogy part regarding technology as Cameron has used repeatedly in Aliens and Avatar.
All this speculating and proposing alternatives is making me think about having my local comic-book store order copies of Dark Horse’s Star Wars Infinities trade paperbacks. They’re DH’s version of Marvel’s infamous What If DC’s Elseworlds comics. I know Star Wars is wrapped around the premise of Luke’s torpedo failing to destroy the Death Star and Empire has Luke dying before Han can save him. No idea what Jedi goes with. I can only hope the writers could find a way to dodge using or eliminating those sickening Ewoks.