Happy Canada Day!

Or as we sing down in the states, “Blame Canada.” According to the Toronto Star, the nation is 145 when I could’ve sworn it’s 199. Why? I always thought our northern neighbors started the process in 1863 during the (American) Civil War; according to History Lessons: How Textbooks from Around the World Portray US History, Canadians have often feared America annexing their nation. Unlike us, they remember the War of 1812 well…”54-40 or die!” being our jingoism at work. Canada probably shared the UK’s lukewarm stance of supporting the Confederacy (aka the Traitors) but feared a Union (the legitimate government) defeat. Should the Union lose, an invasion to regain the territory lost in secession would follow. So they consolidated the three pseudo nations into one and formed Canada in order to defend themselves; the UK had told them earlier that their “parent” country couldn’t spare the manpower. I guess the 31,000 soldiers the Brits mobilized after the US Navy seized a UK ship transporting Confederate “ambassadors” wasn’t enough.

I do find the annexation paranoia partially well-founded yet sadly happening despite the Canadians’ best efforts to maintain a separate identity. Look at their asshole prime minister ever since he succeeded in getting a majority in parliament. Americans can’t be blamed this time. Harper with his aggressive-regressive Tory policies is a cancer from within. He’s their George W. Bush, just most articulate and subtler in his cruelty.

Enough editorializing. Today is Canada’s day to celebrate. Reflect on the many things they’ve given the world besides hockey, Tim’s Hortons and Rush, the band not the blowhard.

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