Whoops! I thought the 150th anniversary of Canada becoming the nation as we know it was yesterday, figuring it happened in 1863. Nope, 1867, when the “clear and present danger” of a US takeover wasn’t going to happen.
Take over? Invasion? Are you kidding? No.
Back when the American Civil War broke out, key European powers took sides but didn’t get involved. Oddly France and the UK rooted for the Confederacy which was puzzling since they were openly against slavery. My personal theory? A successful Confederacy would weaken the US as an economic rival. They probably told their constituencies the same BS Neo-Confederates say now, “it’s about sovereignty, not the immorality of slavery.”
Meanwhile, the UK “subjects” living in the North got worried. Should the Confederacy defeat the US, the US might invade northward to compensate for all the land and revenue lost in the conflict. Their fears were not completely unfounded. When the US Navy boarded a British ship transporting a couple Confederate ambassadors, the UK mobilized 31,000 soldiers to the US border. Things grew tense but cooler heads prevailed. Lincoln ordered the Navy to release the Confederates and leave foreign vessels alone if they’re transporting Confederate representatives. He closed with the flippant remark, “One war at a time.”
Then there was a little dust-up called The War of 1812 which was only 40 years before the American Civil War. Early on US forces invaded the Great White North yelling “54-40 or die!” Future Canadians never forgot this, hence their apprehensions.
Despite the mobilization, the UK took their colonists aside and said, “We can’t defend you all the time, we have an empire to run over in India and Africa. You need to draw up a plan on becoming a little more independent.” So the three territories were reorganized into provinces and the whole area became Canada. Gradually Canada went from being a colony to a completely sovereign nation by 1982. Sure the Queen of England is on their money, the governor general remains their (figurative) head of state and they say things like, “The Crown charged Todd Bertuzzi with assault.” Yet Liz 2 or Prime Minister David Cameron telling Canada what to do is comical.
Personally, I like Canada. It has given the world great comedy (except for Jim Carrey), developed hockey, sold millions of Rush albums and is responsible for this correct list of inventions. My favorite exchange between Texans and Canadians comes from King of the Hill, too bad the writers didn’t do their homework. I knew an American invented the Zamboni.
Gordon: Ah, now, this is a beer. Why can’t America make a decent ale?
Hank: Probably because we’re too busy making medical breakthroughs and blockbuster movies and going to the moon!
Gordon: Yeah, well, we invented zippers, penicillin and the Zamboni!
Bill: I love Canada’s national anthem…too bad they don’t play it much at the Olympics!
Kahn: And your money has a girl on it!