The Hobbit part two: Worth Seeing*

hobbit2* – Still keeping my caveat to the “Worth Seeing” rating to warn those who aren’t familiar or enthused about Tolkien’s better works being brought to life for three hours at a stretch.

Smaug picks up where Unexpected left off but first there’s a brief prologue with Gandalf and Thorin meeting a year before the gathering at Bilbo’s house. More retrofitting from The Silmarillion or Jackson’s doing? Again, we all practically know the story so I’m not going to cover that.

Jackson continues to demonstrate his skill with frenetic, physical comedy by elaborating on the dwarves’ escape from the wood elves’ realm. I didn’t mind. In the book, it wasn’t something needing much detail. For a film, not punching up this part of the story would’ve been disappointing.

The purists will continue to be upset since Legolas appears and Jackson invents a female elf warrior named Tauriel. Not deal breakers for me. I always felt The Hobbit was a sausage party, besides, the ladies all loved actor Orlando Bloom, why not bring him back, elves in Tolkien’s universe are immortal, Legolas was probably alive then.

I really enjoyed several elements. First was Bilbo’s initial meeting with Smaug. The dragon’s enormity was impressive, especially when he gracefully moves about the dwarven halls. Next were the spiders in Mirkwood. They were creepy and unnerving. I’m shocked Somara didn’t break my hand (through squeezing) due to how much she hates spiders. Finally, I could feel the chill and imagine the horrible smell permeating Watertown.

One liberty I applaud Jackson for taking was covering Gandalf’s departure/adventure when the company arrives at the gates of Mirkwood. I recall clearly in the novel that the wizard bails, leaves Bilbo and the dwarves only to show up before the Battle of the Five Armies in some lame deus ex machina move. His excuse? Oh, some necromancer down south I had to dispatch. Now you’ll see what Gandalf was arguing about at Rivendell in the first movie.

My only complaint continues to be the length. For me, I’m fine. This genre isn’t covered very often or well by the movie industry. It’s the general public I’m concerned about. Not everybody has the same attention span when it comes to a story they have a passing interest in. I’m this way with Harry Potter or the Twitard stuff. Jackson also earned this ridicule for dividing The Hobbit up into three films. Maybe he should’ve gone with a truncated version, saved the longer take for DVDs.

I think Hobbit 2 will succeed in the long run. This Winter’s releases are or have been pretty terrible in the event movie field. Ender’s Game flopped (serves douchebag racist Orson Scott Card right), Thor 2 has run its course, Saving Mr. Banks is Disney revisionism, Frozen is a yawner and the remainders are comedies or dramas, few are wise choices to take the whole family to. Besides, it’s actually good. Long, sure. Good, absolutely. If the former concerns you, then wait for it on DVD or cable, you can pause, take a nap, pick up where you left off.

This time, the 3-D/HFR experience was better. The monsters didn’t feel as detached or fake. It still had the weird effect of giving the movie a television appearance. I have a hard time describing it. One friend calls this perspective “a Mexican soap opera.” I label it the “front lobby of every Costco.” Our Costco in North Austin has an armada of HD TVs running and the movies they play look funky; you’re peeking through a window.

I want to close with a counter-argument to all these people pronouncing the dragon’s name incorrectly. Smaug’s name sounds exactly like the word smog. Not the electronic instrument developed by Robert Moog. Why am I right? How do you pronounce the eighth month of the year? August. Not Ohgust.

Alamo Extras: Clips from the cheesy Eighties D&D cartoon, the SNL bit I linked earlier, the Extras bit I mentioned last year, a weird musical mashup from Rings and Orlando Bloom getting involved, Orlando Bloom doing a parody of his real self and the painfully horrendous Dragon Strike video TSR included with a board game in 1993.

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