Belated farewell to Eltingville

One of my favorite comics wound down for good in 2015 and now I’m finally saying goodbye to what was Evan Dorkin’s funniest creation after Milk & Cheese. There was an accompanying companion but Nerd Poker has returned in a 2.0 version I’ll blather on about another day.

Dorkin decided to bring Eltingville to a finale since, according to him, the Internet has pretty much covered all the ugliness this quartet bring upon the world and themselves. I also bought the hardback edition which incorporated every story he did along with notes and sketches involving the animated pilot done for [adult swim]. Dorkin has no bad feelings about the network not picking up the show.

The Club’s swan song is done in two parts. The first half is a typical “adventure” involving them; Bill gets a coveted position working at Joe’s Fantasy World, the guys’ local comic book store. Here Bill learns about how Joe runs the place, namely his secret file on customers who annoy him (Discount Dracula, Smelly Kid, etc.) and why he isn’t big on catering to the fairer sex; he thinks they’re phonies just seeking attention. Then Joe reluctantly has to leave Bill in charge because his connection at Toys R Us is about to screw him. The “power” over the customers goes to Bill’s head and in the usual Eltingville fashion, everything hits the fan when Pete, Jerry and Josh discover Bill working at Joe’s. If you know these characters, Josh takes it the hardest for he is a diehard comic-book fan. Through their brawl with Joe’s collectibles, the store is destroyed and Bill ends up hospitalized via his own idiocy. Even while he’s laid up in a body cast, Bill just wishes his mother would go away so he can watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. He’s pretty narrow-minded. Meanwhile, Josh, Pete and Jerry’s parents forbid them all from ever associating with each other. Thus, it really is the end of the Eltingville Club; the tagline Dorkin often finished previous strips with.

Ten year later at the San Diego Comic Con is when part two starts. Bill is nearing 30 and he still is up to one of usual thievery, stealing comics from floor dealers. A hand touches Bill on the shoulder and immediately he thinks it’s security busting him but it’s Jerry. Relieved, Bill notices that Jerry looks…well, good. Jerry thanks him, tells him he started eating better and exercised some time after the club was dissolved. Being the gamer in their quartet, Jerry really got into Magic: The Gathering and he actually makes a living playing competitively when he’s not writing strategy articles. Hell, he even has a girlfriend from Dorkin’s equivalent of G4 TV, she hosts one the shows. The two have a quick catching up, namely Bill lying about his failed business curating comics for other collectors; he was really stealing from other people’s collections. Jerry then invites Bill to lunch since he’s late to meet two others he ran into…you guessed it, Josh and Pete.

There’s some initial hostility but Jerry gets a truce declared. The others also bring Bill up to speed on their careers. Josh was forced to attend college so he pursued a degree in writing and through his popular blog (the sixth-most-read on comics), he’s on the verge of landing a editor position with one of the big two. Pete went to work for his father for while but eventually found a position doing special effects for low-budge horror movies. I think Bill begins to realize he’s the loser after being the alpha-male all those years ago.

After a few minutes, the truce dissolves as old grievances and dirty secrets are aired between Josh and Bill. Fisticuffs ensue until Bill causes a stampede by announcing a fake Joss Whedon signing. The quartet survive by locking themselves in a replica of the Ghostbusters hearse. Jerry decides to leave in order to rescue his girlfriend and tells the others to screw off, he never wants to see them again. Trapped and bored, Bill, Pete and Josh put aside their immediate hate and bitch about the upcoming all-female remake of Ghostbusters. The Eltingville Club ends with a whimper.

What I do enjoy and will miss about Dorkin’s painfully true tales about the extremists of fandom are how he nailed it on the head. Sadly, many are misogynistic like when you see Bill and Josh trashing various women in costumes with their saying, “no wood, no good.” These types are also the first to complain about how they’re lonely, go figure. I remember some people like them back in Bloomington-Normal. They lived with their parents and/or eked by on minimum wage jobs, yet I have met some in larger cities too. As Dorkin once said in defense of his creation, he’s not against fandom, he just hates the inflexible nut-jobs and points out the people who just ruin it for everybody else. It’s also ironic that Jerry, the gamer, is the member who grew up and has a more-balanced life 10 years later. The gamer tends to be the strongest stereotype of someone who’s emotionally stunted if you go by SNL skits.

Thanks Evan for giving the dark side a tangible voice. I will continue to follow your other work in comics and TV. Farewell to Jerry, Bill, Josh and Pete. One day, you guys will grow up and learn to take it easy, they’re just shows and books.

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