1819: US acquires Florida…America’s punchline

Originally colonized by the Spanish, despite people already living there. The future state was then handed over to the English after the French & Indian War; spoils for Spain trying to aid the French. Then it returned to Spanish control after the American Colonies got a solid treaty from the English. Eventually US meddling got the Spaniards to give it over for free while the young country tried to settle claims from people who probably shouldn’t have been squatting there. It’s not a surprise Andrew Jackson, the Beta version of Trump, was the governor general for during the interim to get Florida into the Union as a slave-owning hellhole (air conditioning wouldn’t be developed until the early 20th Century) by 1845. It has gone on to be a pain in the ass multiple times in Federal elections. Not just the Gore v. Bush the Lesser in 2000, we received a warning in 1876 and the primarily fickle, selfish retirees who have been fleeing there; they don’t want to pay taxes to contribute while they expect us to bail them every year when hurricanes flatten their homes.

To be fair. Florida is entirely evil and filled with immoral assholes (see Sen. Marco Rubio, insurance thief Sen. Rick Scott and their newly “elected” racist governor). It is the home of my cool cousins Dana, Denise and David along with their families, namely their mother Aunt Colleen! My Trumpkin, “thinks he’s a Navy SEAL” cousin Ron is present too. Maybe one day he’ll come to his senses on how the GOP continues to screw him as their keep distracting him through social issues he has no right to deny others’ rights through. However, Ron was in the Navy for 12 years and like the Baptists, if you hold someone under water long enough, they’ll believe anything.

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