1999: Columbine…and how the US remains paralyzed

The world knows this story all too well. Somebody or somebodies go into a school, shoot up the place and kill a bunch of people. Often the shooter(s) commit suicide or the cops kill them. Sadly, this event happens continuously in the US and remains a rare event in the rest of the Western World. Thanks to the domestic terrorists’ political representatives, the GOP and NRA, no progress on gun control is made. Ammosexuals such as my cousin who gotta’ have me my guns because of their irrational bullshit about the government’s jackboot; Something something about Stalin/Hitler being stopped if the people/Jews had guns and other evidence my cousin’s D- in high school History and Civics.

When Columbine happened, numerous rumors abounded and many untruths remain. Klebold and Harris getting even with the school’s bullies was unfounded which was my hypothesis. Nope, their victims were chosen at random and there was no evidence they were necessarily picked on. The Volvo-Driving Soccer Moms went to their usual scapegoats in 1999: The Matrix, Marilyn Manson and violent video games. Wrong on all counts as always. The last one is a weak point because other Western nations have the same stuff and you don’t see Japanese or Dutch kids shoot up schools. KKKristians continue to spread their lie involving victim Cassie Bernall to heighten their exaggerated status as a persecuted group. The lie goes as so; One of the shooters came across Bernall, asked her if she believed in god, she said “yes” and then she was killed. Witnesses disproved it ever happened. It was really another student the shooters wounded and when the victim answered “yes,” the shooter spared them. Being KKKristians out to make a buck and promote their bullshit, Bernall’s parents didn’t let the truth stand in their way of “writing” (a ghost writer was used) a book titled She Said Yes.

Twenty years later, mass shootings in the US happen as often as a utility bill, monthly. The GOP and “conservative” Democrats (shitbags such as Dan Lipinski) throw up their hands, say “there’s nothing we can do, it’s the price we pay for (mis)interpreting the Second Amendment and liberty.” Instead, my homeland implements asinine “solutions,” all in order to avoid to the armed elephant in the room preventing a key remedy, restrictions.

  • Metal detectors at schools and public events. Yeah, there’s our freedom in action! Too bad these things rely on human error and are defeated by ceramics or plastic.
  • Clear backpacks, handbags and purses. Seems guns trump privacy.
  • Cops or security guards at soft targets. St. Reagan had the elite Secret Service protecting him yet an untrained Hinckley winged him and maimed Brady.
  • Arming teachers and students will stop the violence. Do the Republicans think arming educators is wise with Charter Jesus DeVos as Secretary of Education?
  • Spending more on addressing mental-health treatment. Oddly, the GOP/NRA don’t think racism is an illness, see Rep. Steve “Whitebread Power” King, Alex “Rolex” Jones or Jerry “Poolboy” Falwell Jr. George Zimmerman isn’t in jail.

As for my cousin. I find it puzzling how he has a hard-on a-gain’ the gubmint, after all, he was employed by the “enemy” for 12 years as a Navy mechanic. He’s no Rambo or Dirty Harry, just in his imagination. He doesn’t have a problem with all the paved roads, clean water, untainted food and low bribery rate this tyrannical gubmint provides. He forgets how WE THE PEOPLE are mostly the government, not the preferred OTHER his camp likes to promote, especially when elected officials are non-White. Lastly, for an ex-military schlub, he’s rather absent-minded about how useless his armory will be when the alleged Black Helicopter people won’t bother with Team Seal Six, they can take him out with a drone more efficiently.

Columbine, Sandy Hook, etc. are horrible, horrible tragedies. Nothing is going to change as long as America is paralyzed by the Electoral College, Gerrymandering, a shitty two-party monopoly, ridiculously easy access to guns (an Ammosexual boutique opened in the same strip mall as my comic book store!), the GOP/NRA crippling of the ATF and CDC and a proud culture of ignorance (see my cousin and President Shitgibbon).

I want to conclude with paraphrasing Dennis Miller before he became Faux News’ bitch; Gun owners say you can take away my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands…alright little dick.

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