Crap! August is practically over and I nearly forgot about this event from 40 years ago! It’s a major reason why I don’t and never will, have a dog in my house. They’re great as I enjoy visiting the ones who live with friends since they choose friendly breeds, yet they’re too needy and unpredictable as this story reveals.
The fateful debacle began way back in May when I managed to scrape up the money to buy the new printing of the Against the Giants trilogy adventure for D&D. I think my family’s move to Houston was a done deal so the clock was ticking to get in as many fun times with friends before I would be the “new kid” again. Thankfully, I was unfamiliar with the earlier Giants incarnations which were sold separately and my inexperience as a DM made this version a page-turner; today it’s viewed as a horribly written dungeon crawl, think LEGO videogames if you’re not a D&D’r.
How was it exciting despite Gygax’s dreadful prose and terrible logic? Unlike his other opus, The Tomb of Horrors, Giants was a world-sprawling mix of action and conspiracy. What begins as an expedition to fight a tribe of really well-organized hill giants harassing a nearby kingdom transforms into an onion-esque mystery as the players’ heroes eventually discover a more sinister force using all the evil giant races as a proxy in their war against the surface dwellers…the mythical and allegedly non-existent dark elves, aka the drow, Written back in 1978 so it was before the dark elves became the tiresome cliche alongside emo, sparkly vampires. At the conclusion in the lower levels of King Snurre’s stronghold, the players find an entrance to a place only discussed in legends or hushed whispers, the Underdark! Home to not just the dark elves but additional nightmares.
Fortunately, another kid who played with us owned the sequels: Descent into the Depths of the Earth, Vault of the Drow and Queen of the Demonweb Pits. He was kind of enough to loan them which allowed me to read them, plan and make a cool map prop. James wasn’t completely altruistic, he wanted to play in them yet you always had to be wary to make sure he didn’t read ahead. Meanwhile, I ran other sessions to give my players’ characters the opportunity to attain the power levels recommended in Giants’ guidelines. My style then was more akin to what would be a computer game now due to its lack of continuity.
The big day finally arrived! I had the family room prepped, primarily the Ponderosa table laid out with paper, dice and seats. My regular players were present and ready to go: Eric, Chris, James and Todd. I think there were a couple guest players to chip in. I do know at least one was present because of what soon followed. While the gang managed to get into the hill giants’ fort and start attacking Chief Nosnra (a mean-spirited anagram of D&D’s co-creator Dave Arneson by Gygax) and allies in their vast banquet hall, my family’s dog, Louie barged in and snapped at the guest kid, freaking him out. He probably fled out the nearby “extra” front door we had in that room.
Weeks of planning, prepping and anticipation all down the crapper courtesy of a terrible dog breed as a pet, the Chow. I never received a second chance to run Giants. Hell, I don’t recall if I ever ran another session before we loaded up the cars to leave for Houston (HL&P paid for a moving company on the majority). I wouldn’t be surprised my days as the DM of Douglas Avenue were kaput but should I be wrong, I’m confident we finished out playing on the porch where the dog wasn’t allowed, just not what I had been jonesing to run all Summer.
In the years since, I’ve never got to be a player in a campaign based upon Giants nor the DM. The new people I joined up with in Houston already knew it and as high school was wrapping up, I had lost interest. Before I graduated from Marquette, I did sit in to watch some associates go through it. By then, my DM style was more sophisticated (more role-playing, less board gaming) and I was a RoleMaster apostate who looked at D&D Second Edition with disdain. They were nice people but I could never play with them due to their murder hobo preference of game.
Wizards of the Coast commissioned novels based upon these adventures yet I will never bother. I slogged through a Dark Sun paperback. It was worse then Tolkien and other than The Hobbit, his stuff isn’t pleasure, it’s homework.
One day, I hope to get re-acquainted with Giants and run it for a new generation who isn’t well-versed on the story, plot twists and the villain Eclavdra’s plans. With all the great tech advances D&D now offers (and I’ve bought), namely minis of giants, dragons, ogres, orcs, elves and others, it would be a million times more exciting over 1982’s theater of the mind while avoiding theater’s older sibling…endless arguments.
Still, I wouldn’t trade all the good and rough times I had with D&D from 1981-82 during my final weeks in Springfield. All those memories rushing back to me via Stranger Things is probably to blame.
No spoilers please! My Netflix is turned off to save money and I haven’t seen the seasons three and four, I promise to catch up in 2023!