The hottest ticket/show in Austin right now

I’m not sure if this is receiving much national attention. Probably not, a different shit bird with even more legal problems is sucking up all the Oxygen. Fear not, Paxton was the AG candidate endorsed by Girth Vader after JEB’s felonious offspring George P kissed orange ass so hard.

This being Texas, a government with a Republican majority that behaves like the Dixiecrat party of 1860, you’re probably wondering, “What? Since when do the Republicans eat their own, especially in the South?” Isn’t it obvious? Much like Darth Cheney or Tricky Dick, he became too radioactive to defend any longer and/or he’s of no more use to the rest. We all know this collection of racist Honkies had their moral compasses surgically removed as a pre-requisite to attend private grade schools or if they started out poor, once they got their acceptance letter to the inbred Ivy League universities.

So what’s this all about? Hasn’t he avoided prison (where he belongs) before? Yes. Paxton did get away with securities fraud via the McKinney shit birds, Transportation Sec’y Pete Buttigieg’s former employer too. His luck has appeared to run out. The Republicans in the State House are pissed with him because he got nailed for retaliation at the employees with the AG office who reported how he is morally impaired. The Biden DoJ is certainly digging into his more recent activities (more on this later). Normally, getting even with employees is par for the course in Texas (both parties) but the victims won and the court said they’re owed a few million bucks. The House isn’t thrilled about having to pass a bill to pay for Paxton’s crookery and since he’s a government employee, it cannot be taken out of his vast personal fortune; we’re sure most was accrued by being AG.

The Feds are breathing down Paxton’s neck over Nate Paul, an Austin real estate thief who is in prison thankfully. Paul was a donor and in return Paxton used his position to help the shit bird settle lawsuits and worse, namely have the AG office investigate Paul’s enemies. The very definition of quid pro quo. Paul was very grateful. So grateful, he foot the bill on remodeling Paxton’s Austin house and gave a job to a woman the AG had been boning on the side! The Texas Senate is more sympathetic alongside our horrible Lt. Gov and Abbott; you can place their “Biden Witch Hunt” usage on a Bingo Card. Again, I don’t think the state legislature suddenly “found Jesus,” they’re frightened the FBI will stick around to see what else they’ll uncover within our corrupt millionaires club.

Adding to the drama and pointing out what’s seriously wrong with Texas’ government, his wife sits in the senate seat he used to have. I’m sure she’d love to know more about his side piece yet I’m in the camp demanding her recusal. Given their lust for power, money and bullshit, they’re likely swingers as per Henry and Claire Luce; the shitty, hypocritical Republicans behind Time magazine and American Isolationism.

Paxton also can’t weasel out of the impeachment happening in Austin, a place where the bulk of the audience hates him. There’s a bullshit law the Republicans got passed a while back in which the accused, aka them 90% of the time, can have the venue moved to their home county instead of the location where they broke the law. Most of these assholes are from the rural parts where you can count on a MAGAt-packed jury to acquit just to spite the ‘communist’ cities.

More updates will be posted, you can count on it. I want to see Paxton do the perp walk and wear an orange jump suit before his ass is pounded by the inmates.

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