How fitting that today is also the Iowa Caucus ’24!

I know how my experience, circle of friends, circle of co-workers, etc. etc…it’s all anecdotal but I’m dying to find out where these morons live. How pollsters and ‘reporters’ succeed in finding such a rich vein of stupid! I’ve met at least a couple moon-landing deniers and I’ll leave out who the 9/11 conspiracy person is. I can see why my poor Austin has these Libertarian dipshits, or what they originally were: Hippies Who Got Rich and Now They Don’t Want to Pay Their Taxes: see Nick Gillespie, PJ O’Rourke and the dickhole founder of Whole Foods.

Anyway, today’s demonstration of idiocy and near insanity is letting a rural state as diverse as Wonder Bread go first when it comes to picking a candidate to govern the US. Actually, the whole primary system is bullshit now. I agreed with the original principle of what these extra elections were supposed to solve a century ago, membership should decide, not the corrupt party bosses, over who should get the nomination, the standard bearer. Now the conventions are just collective circle jerks for the up-and-comers to give speeches to let the media in on their plans in four years because we all know, this winner is truly a loser: see Obama, Clinton, Romney, so on.

Back to the problem of the primaries.

They’re absolutely worthless! Not due to the diehards or the mythical “extremists of the Left and Right” narrative pushed by the corporate media. No it’s how they lack uniformity and consistency. Some states are open, allowing switching affiliation to vote for a spoiler. Others are closed, as they should be yet I recall some skullduggery. When California used to be in play, my parents moved to San Diego in 1987. My mother registered as a Democrat for the upcoming 1988 primary. No shit on this, she received her materials back in the mail torn up. Needless to say, she “went independent” to avoid this.

Neither type of primary is truly closed to the general public and somehow very few bother which I find hilarious. The alleged “independent” or “centrist” voter is a myth in Amerika. As much of a critic I am of the false choices we’re saddled with, I can’t stand idiots who don’t have a clue on where the two shitty parties stand after 40 years. They truly have their heads up their asses! I’m not telling anyone to vote for “my side,” I’m sayin’ stop lying to me and yourself. If you’re a selfish, racist prick, don’t try to disguise it with made-up fears over Socialism (never going to happen) or your “concern” over an imaginary Nanny State not letting you set fires in your backyard via illegal fireworks.

The next failure the system has wrought, state laws. Why are governments involved in how the parties do shit? Embezzlement of funds, sure. When they hold their primary, no. Case in point, New Hampshire’s self-importance is stupidly written into their constitution. I put this on par with letting Barney Fife carry a bullet in his pocket to feel important.

Quick aside, the Libertarian (Dys)Utopia plan to take over a state government chose New Hampshire because of all the IT jobs in nearby Taxachussetts. Poor Wyoming or Montana lost. Good thing all my worthless tax dollars helped build the livelihoods for these assholes who never needed any help (the Internet).

If the Democrats were serious about being the party of diversity, they would do what the 538 clowns researched. They’d comb over the latest US Census data every decade, then put the schedule in order by the states most reflective of the population. Currently Illinois should go first in the Modern Twenties. The state is a microcosm for the whole country in terms of Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, so forth. Each following state will be chosen based on this criteria, gradually moving away until we get to ‘milk.’ We know the ’empty states’ will have a hissy fit. My response, who the fuck cares! Most of them vote Republican and when they’re totaled up by population, they’re well under 50 percent. America’s majority of citizens were discovered to be urban dwellers with the 1920 Census, a reality suppressed by the Republican and Dixiecrat Congress for a decade.

The Republicans will never do such a thing. They stopped pretending to be inclusive and returned to their original 1850 roots: the WASP, nativist party. Oh sure they’ve made gains on Hispanics. I’m not surprised, even the Mexican-American ‘saint’ Cesar Chavez called illegal immigrants “wetbacks” and demanded their deportation regardless of what they all had in common (ancestry, language, backgrounds). I learned early on, Whites don’t have the monopoly on being racist, we’re just the current, reigning champs.

So let’s get this crap over with. The ‘media’ can’t wait to get back to their coastal homes to wash off the stench of flyover country and the world can laugh at how our democratic joke is held hostage by tiny places.

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