Back from Vegas ’14: There and back again…

Our pockets are inside out because we "lost" all our money. As the locals say, we're showing the elephant.

The Tres Amigos with their pockets inside out because we “lost” all our money. The locals call this “showing the elephant.”

I’m ripping off part one of The Hobbit for this title because I plan to be in Las Vegas again  in the Fall with my wife. As much as I love hanging with my friends, I can’t complete a true Vegas Hat Trick unless I plan on getting divorced.

Anyway, my quick vacation to Sin City with José and his buddy José is done. For the sake of clarification, the one I’ve known for 25 years is Hoser, the other by his last name Cuervo…yes, his parents named him after tequila unknowingly, they’re Colombian, not Mexican. I think the crux for the trip was to celebrate Hoser’s 45th birthday. He hasn’t been there since his 40th. I needed a stag trip too. Somara will have a mini-vacation near the end of May when her evil sister visits from Phoenix.

It was a pretty cool trip. I had to let Hoser run the agenda despite all the cool things I know how to find. Again, I will be back in months. These poor guys? Who knows? Cuervo had never been here. He was in good hands.

We all flew in last Sunday. Worst. Flight. To Vegas. Ever. Thanks to el Niño, our planes were buffeting from the last hour to the landing. I also refused to pay Southwest’s One Percenter tax they impose for a better boarding pass and got stuck sitting in the rear, hence I felt the shaking more than the center area, where I prefer to be. Once we landed, I was stoked to be on the ground. My plane from Austin only had a 30-minute head start so I killed time with the free Wi-Fi, something Austin needs to frickin’ adopt. The Dallas faction arrived, we picked up the car, checked in, and proceeded to eat. I think we all needed a drink after the turbulence.

My room at the MGM Grand was alright. I had it to myself due to our fourth attendee having to bail (Glenn). I quickly remembered why I hate the hotels throughout the experience too. No Wi-Fi. The minibar fridge was an anti-white noise generator. Sucky view from the window. No music to play easily (I love music). Watching TV is a minor chore (gotta’ avoid accidentally selecting a pay-per-view movie like the dull Tom Clancy thriller). And getting around the casino to your room or a Starbucks makes Theseus’ battle against the Minotaur seem easier. In the end, MGM Grand added insult to injury at checkout with an $84 “resort fee” my Southwest package didn’t incorporate. Small wonder why their local economy tanked in 2007-8.

Putting aside the MGM Grand’s bullshit, I had a great time.

We drank (frequently). We ate (too much). We gambled, well, I did most of it because I’m not afraid of losing. We did a slug of walking, so much for the rental car. Took in a couple sights (or is it sites?).

Saw the Neon Museum for the first time. I will take Somara next trip, it was something she has been begging to see. It now has an organized schedule and location. Hoser and Cuervo rode on the new ferris wheel, the High Roller. Another thing to save for Somara. We did hang around Fremont after the Neon bit. We kicked off our first full morning with craps lessons at New York New York. I learn something new each time; this lesson was taking odds when backing the pass line bet, now if I could remember the numbers.

The major goal was reached too. Catching up on stories, goals, explanations, gossip, etc. between us all. I didn’t know Cuervo beyond Hoser’s wedding in 2007 yet I think I made a good impression, namely with my encyclopedic memory of dirty jokes I’ve remembered from grade school on. Hoser gave a clarification on the fiancée he almost married in 2006; talk about dodging a bullet! The interview I wanted to conduct with Hoser for our 25th anniversary of Greatest (College) Summer Ever fell through. Our final night was a haze of mixed drinks, cigars, a pretty waitress named Amber (or whenever she approached, we yelled Amber Alert) and steaks. Je ne regrette rien! However, Hoser agreed to try again via FaceTime since I sent him the outline of interview questions/topics I was going use.

Another major goal was achieved in lieu of Internet access being for crap! I did some reading! Namely poolside. I wish it were warmer in Vegas then. Somara hates it when it’s “too hot” but what good is the pool when it’s in the seventies-eighties F (low twenties C)? I get the chills, then sick. I completed one book I had been slugging through for months and made progress on a fun novel covering the story of Darth Bane.

A quick aside about Wi-Fi. I do leave my computer behind and not obsess too much over its presence. I just like to keep track of my finances while I’m there, pay bills as needed and post the cool crap I see ASAP. Plus I’ve developed a taste for writing over the last 20 years. Is it so wrong now?

How did the gambling go? Sports were a bust. I only managed one hockey game, lost. Grabbed futures on Marquette for 2015 (100:1!) and the Cowboys (gift for a friend, 25:1). Our wedding day lost again, 35, drat, this makes 27 2-8. Craps was up and down. Down four, up three, up 11 and finally down 45. Besides Fremont, I found a new place I enjoyed rolling the dice, O’Shea’s behind the Quad (or Imperial Palace). There was a dealer working the table who was part Robin Williams, part Chris Tucker and part Jim Carrey. We were all in stitches, laughing and rolling. I finally remembered to place side bets for the dealers too. It’s a nice thing to do.

Can’t wait to return in the Fall, once I’ve paid off the new expenses I acquired. Meanwhile, I do hope Hoser and Cuervo get to come back in the near future.

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