Jupiter Ascending: Worth Seeing

jupiterascendingThe Wachowskis’ latest outing is a space opera which was probably already dead on arrival due to critics and their sycophants making up their mind in advance; plus the movie being re-scheduled from last Summer didn’t help. In short, Warner Brothers should’ve gambled on the 2014 release thanks to everything else sucking. When the best Summer flick was Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, something is amiss. Guardians of the Galaxy doesn’t qualify because August is when families go on vacation and school starts for a few. Anyway, as I’m writing this up, Jupiter is mostly gone from many theaters in a month unlike Spongebob and Kingsman.

Visually Jupiter is pretty impressive. The giant starships flying through Jupiter’s red spot namely. Most “aliens” are human-animal hybrids with the exception of some resembling the Grays/Anal Probers. The acting wasn’t terrible, besides, if it’s better than the Star Wars prequels, then the movie is ahead. As for the premise, I found it intriguing. Much like The Matrix, the Wachowskis raise a interesting moral question regarding immortality and what would people do to attain it. Another interesting angle entails DNA. Mila Kunis’ character Jupiter (Юпитер in Russian and given by her astronomer father) is an intergalactic heiress thanks to dozens of millennia alongside billions of DNA combinations. Huh? It’s a “more plausible” form of reincarnation except all Jupiter has in common with the former incarnation is their DNA being identical. The humans from space know this a remote possibility so they have wills with a legal system set up to bestow their assets to people labelled “re-occurrences.” Why all the shooting? Jupiter technically owns Earth and her predecessor’s three children want the deed; our planet is pretty valuable despite how much we’ve damaged it. You’ll see why midway.

The action is rather predictable. I wish Kunis had more to do than scream for help as Channing Tatum keeps saving her. The story establishes Jupiter as a person with a strong moral compass and braver than average so it sucked to keep making her dependent on the men.

I applaud the Wachowskis’ tribute to bureaucracy a la Brazil. For a more-advanced civilization, they’re equally behind the curve on processing the paperwork to transfer titles, establish legitimacy, etc. Pay attention to the special cameo during the final encounter Jupiter has in order to be declared the rightful owner.

Jupiter probably won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. It’s not perfect but I found it better than most dreck other fanboys lose their shit over…Firefly/Serenity especially. Hopefully, this will get reconsideration over the years like Speed Racer has received.

Alamo Extras: The second half of our Valentine’s Day double feature which meant we were on time to watch cool things. A Buck Rogers serial from the Thirties we’ve seen before; a kid drumming with a symphony; the Guerrilla Circus (people who do acrobatics in abandoned buildings I think); Two Japanese women making extreme tempura prawns; The trailer for Plan 9 From Outer Space; some light/shadow show; The 1980 Flash Gordon trailer; Kids doing card tricks; The trailer for The Last Starfighter.

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