Ralph Breaks the Internet: Streaming

Another movie that didn’t really need a sequel yet it turned out decently but it wasn’t necessarily with all the expense of going to a movie theater. My short version of Ralph 2. Initially I wasn’t remotely interested because the trailers made Ralph 2 appear to be 90 minutes of free advertising for all the ubiquitous Internet corporations destroying the world. Plus you know Disney is going to plug all their properties…they forked over billions to acquire Pixar, Marvel and Star Wars for it was cheaper than creating something original, ergo you can’t look away or they’ll gobble up something else you love!

The plot? The steering wheel on Sugar Rush is accidentally broken by a kid and the cost to replace the part is worth more than the entire game. Since Mr. Litwak can’t afford this, he unplugs the game with a plan to sell it for scrap. As you may recall from the original Ralph, all the games’ residents can leave to visit other cabinets via the surge protector so Sugar has a mass exodus to prevent their deletion. Now Princess Vanellope and her fellow racers are homeless. Thanks to Mr. Litwak installing a Wi-Fi router, Vanellope and Ralph decide to venture out to the Internet to find a new steering wheel. The trailer has covered the rest: they meet Disney princesses via Buzzed quizzes, a search engine with OCD and try to not get killed in a Grand Theft Auto/Fortnite-esque game.

Is it funny? A couple times and only through its few cameos, one is pretty specific, another is obvious. Is it entertaining? Not really, but I do take into consideration what I do for a living…working on computers (99% of the time Apple stuff) and this requires Internet interaction. I imagine the experience would be similar to someone who is a sous chef watching a movie about the trials and tribulations of a gourmet restaurant. Kids will enjoy it because it’s fast, colorful and filled with YouTube parodies they may not be tired of entirely. Ralph 2 will keep children pacified on a long car rid for about an hour.

Sit through the credits, there is a worthwhile nod to an exhausted joke.

Alamo Extras: A Willie Whopper cartoon of an air race, winner gets a kiss from Amelia Ear-Heart; Commercials for Golfland’s Arcade in CT, the Star Wars arcade game for Atari circa 1984, Ross Puff candy and the Power Shifters toys; Silent movie of a fantasy car chase; Kid commercial in some European language with girls dancing around; a dog jug band; a band called Mini-Van Highway playing music via their PCs; the Imagine Dragons music video for this movie (it’s not bad unlike their hits); UK Newsreel showing a toffee factory; Trailers for a terrible Hansel & Gretel stop-motion film and one my faves from 1982, TRON; lastly, a painful infomercial starring “The Techno Set” showing you how to get on the Internet in the early-to-mid Nineties, I am grateful how easy it is today.

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