Now her front matches my current teeth!
As per what I previously wrote, there will be a gap in the “now” and “then” for a while. Right now I will cover the whole debacle here since I had my conversation with GEICO and received the sad news about Vixen being declared totaled, the equivalent of dead for a car, or not worth the cost of repairing. Oddly, Sarah Palin wouldn’t call my insurance inspector a member of a death panel.
I’ll pull back to the beginning. What began as an early Thursday evening errand to the Barton Creek Mall to get my new iPhone Xs (future story) and check out the just released LEGO® City/Space sets…ended badly for Vixen. It had been raining off/on all day which makes Austin roads slick. After days of the blistering heat, water brings out the oiliness followed by people skidding. I was driving cautiously on the feeder, getting ready to move over toward the mall entrance. We were stuck in the expected rush hour stop n’ go when a fire engine pulled into the intersection. I was nowhere near it yet I began the process of stopping like you should to let the AFD through. Vixen began to skid unexpectedly forward which was due to the road because I wasn’t going quickly. I will never really know with absolute certainty why I chose what followed but I didn’t want to hit the vehicle in front of me. A decision based partly on altruism and partly from fear of discovering which asshole Texan has a gun they’ll use on me. So I pulled hard to the left hoping the curb would drain the energy of moving forward.
WRONG!
Concrete and asphalt were replaced by the unmowed, overgrown and wet grass which continued or added to Vixen’s momentum. One of the many “no parking” signs along the feeder brought us to a complete stop. I’m figuring my car’s mass was still too much to keep the sign post in the ground if you see the photo below.
Vixen resting at a 45° angle. AFD put blocks under her right side to prevent her from rolling down the hill into MoPac. The sign’s concrete base is right under her chassis
Why do I know (or think) my speed was acceptable? The airbags didn’t deploy. Worry not, we were wearing our seatbelts, something I insist on with all my passengers.
The fire engine had to get another team to take over the call they were headed toward and come to our aid. I got on the horn to GEICO immediately to start the process. A-1 job with Basel on the initial work. AFD stuck around to make sure we weren’t injured. I was more pissed and embarrassed. Somara’s back hurt a little but I knew from past experience, she probably pulled muscles from the impact.
APD appeared later to block traffic for the tow truck. AFD left to prep for their next call from a nearby station. Mucho praise for the policeman and Austin has an app for sending commendations. The tow-truck guy said he had seen worse so pulling Vixen out was easy. He was right, she was level and being towed away in 15 minutes. Before he left, the tow-truck guy said the car was totaled in his expert opinion. “You see that? That’s your transmission in pieces.” I was like, ohhh, this is going to be expensive.
My in-laws Carolyn and Tom arrived. We took them to the Cheesecake Factor for dinner as our thank-you for the ride back to work to retrieve Somara’s car. Yes, I did score my new iPhone, couldn’t let the trip be a complete loss.
GEICO demonstrated how on the ball they were. I was contacted by an inspector the following day (Friday), she’d be examining Vixen on Monday since I gave her the tow lot’s location.
You know the verdict as it was in the lead. The news sucked yet I was relieved. I just couldn’t see this car being repaired easily, quickly nor affordably. The good news. How much GEICO will be giving me was close to what I hoped for, enough to make an impressive down payment on a new car. Before you I hear all your lecturing about buying a used one, save your breath/electrons. Anecdotally in my life, every second-hand car my family owned growing up was a lesson in how you’re buying someone else’s problems. Ditto with my friend Doc who professed the same horrible advice while his money pit spent significant time in the shop. I’m getting new wheels period.
Today we went to the tow lot to retrieve anything left in Vixen I didn’t want thrown out, plus I wanted to say goodbye to her. Found a few surprises! Namely the action-figure totem I hid in the glove box which was the source of my car’s name.
See, the superhero’s costume matches the paint job.
We had to transport everything to Somara’s car with a cart, you’re not allowed to drive an operational vehicle in there. What a huge collection of sadness too. Made you wonder, “How did that end up there? Oh, I hope that’s not blood!” I had to overcome the urge to not ding the neighboring cars, unlike most Austin assholes. It was way too late to be concerned right?
Another little burst of hope was this cute guy who the staff said had recently moved in to join the cat colony. He didn’t have a name so I recommended Lamont, the son played by Desmond Wilson in Sanford & Son. I submitted a brief movie of him to be displayed on bodegacats.com. He overcame his reservations and walked up for some petting. A tow lot is definitely a perfect setting for semi-feral cats to occupy, it’s unattended at night, large and secure.
What is Vixen’s post-crash fate? GEICO sells her to a company specializing in wrecked cars (there’s only two) and her functional parts will be sold off. I figured the rare earths (all elements) which make hybrids do their thing can be recycled, about 15 kg of lanthanum (57), a kg of another element called neodymium (60), some terbium (65) and dysprosium (66). The batteries might be re-used, probably her rear doors and instrument cluster. I hope there’s no secret market for un-unused airbags.
Next up? I think the hardest part will be having the time to go car shopping, definitely not this upcoming weekend. In Texas, dealerships aren’t open on Sunday, something they’ve been hellbent on maintaining and the Texas lege is very wrapped around the car dealerships’ fingers, Tesla owners can attest to this. Thankfully I remembered to put the title to Vixen into our safety deposit box when I paid her off last year (this added to why I was pissed over the wreck). I need to produce it to get the check from GEICO, deposit the money for the interim and hunt down for Vixen’s successor.
Toyota has discontinued the Prius C as of 2019 so anything new will be the remaining inventory, pass. Not all is lost. There’s a Corolla Hatchback taking up the position left by the Prius C while the traditional model will remain. The hard part is finding a dealership around Austin selling it. Despite the piece telling the ugly truth about cars in Adam Ruins Everything, I still rate Toyota Round Rock favorably and I want to buy another hybrid from them; I wouldn’t piss on Charles Maund if it were on fire. And yes, I’m adamant on another hybrid. I’m a city driver which means I’m stuck idling in Austin’s crappy traffic alongside the assholes sitting alone in their F-350s, Highlanders and other surrogate genitals. Let’s see if I can get this vehicle paid off in record time to compensate for my insurance rates going up since accident forgiveness in America is classified as Stalinism.
The last picture of my favorite car. Farewell.