Child’s Play (2019): Disappointment

Horror movie number two for October and on schedule since Midsommar should’ve been written/posted before or during the weekend.

I saw the original Child’s Play on cable while I was home from university (1989). I thought it was OK then because I wasn’t into Slasher movies but it presented a new twist on the tired Jason-dominated theme: a Cabbage Patch-like doll possessed by the spirit of an unrepentant killer. Obviously it was successful for it spawned over five sequels and its star Chuckie had a cameo in this Spring’s horrendous Ready Player One.

When I read about Mark Hamill taking over as Chuckie’s voice, I was curious. When I saw the trailer, showing how the doll had been upgraded to join what’s known as “The Internet of Things,” aka thermostats, appliances, TVs, etc; I was sold. I figured, this is a new twist, Chuckie can now create mayhem through his BlueTooth or WiFi connectivity and given he is really a horrible person, some creative murders.

NOPE.

Instead, Chuckie is just a doll you set up like an Apple TV and it murders people in order to protect the child it first imprinted on. Ergo, this Chuckie isn’t evil, it’s another piece of tech gone amuck through human error; taking a child’s statements literally when the poor kid is angry at his mother’s married boyfriend.

Do people get killed creatively? Slightly. A driverless car, which has happened in real life, and drones, again, this isn’t new, especially in America’s endless conflicts. But I’m not aware of any remote controlled snow blowers/wood chippers or thermostats capable of cranking water to any temperature higher than 45° C.

It’s a pity to see Mark Hamill and Aubrey Plaza’s talents wasted on a disappointing attempt to update the terror Chuckie could bring. Maybe next time they’ll do a soft reboot by continuing with the original psychopathic nature while combining Chuckie’s new ability to mess up his victim’s iPhone!

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