If you missed the news this weekend, a flotilla of Trumpkins terrorized Lake Travis with hilarious results! Being Trumpkins, the disaster was everyone else’s fault but their own as they posted it on FaceBook, a platform only they trust as true.
In short, the vessels were crewed by pretty inexperienced people and they traveled too close together. So the smaller boats were sunk by the larger ones’ wakes which then required my tax money to have the morons rescued by the Travis County department responsible. I say we should’ve let them drown because they hate big gubmint. Besides, the Trumpkins weren’t in jeopardy. Everyone knows shit floats.
Above is a hilarious prank picture from resident Twitter prankster Evil MoPac blaming the mess on resident Elijah Wood’s scooter creating a tidal wave. I prefer to believe it was a covert Antifa submarine nailing them with torpedoes.