Long ago, I chose to adhere to that principle “If you’ve never seen the movie, how can you say you hate it?” when it came to film, TV and especially music. It has resulted in numerous hours and dollars I wish I could have back afterwards but it least I had the right to express a negative opinion in a fair, informed manner. I applied it to the return of McDonald’s grossest concoction…the McRib, which has returned yet again like Jason in those Friday the 13th flicks. Keep in mind, I haven’t eaten one since I was a tweener during the early Eighties. I clearly remember how friends and I mocked the TV ad’s jingle “Our new McRib is swimming in a barbecue sauce…” with “Our new McRib is swimming around in a microwave!” because even we knew it was an “artificial” product.
So how was it? Still awful. Forty years later I can articulate why thanks to my 26 years in Austin and eating better barbecue. You can taste and feel how it’s a Frankenmeat. What I mean by the Shelley reference is the “slab” is multiple pieces of pork molded, compressed and/or stitched together to make one whole “piece.” Given McDonald’s reliance on processed food, I wouldn’t be surprised if the pork was liquified and poured into the mold just as The Simpsons mocked Krustyburger for doing. The McRib is also the messiest product I’ve eaten which is about the only thing it has in common with what it’s trying to imitate.
My curiosity has been sated for another 40 years and if I do live to be over 90, I guess I’ll try it again while making a super outdated joke about former president Clinton.