1922: USS Langley commissioned, the first US aircraft carrier

It’s a good thing the US finally got rolling on the shape of things to come even though other parts of the War Department, White House and Congress were getting pissed off at General Billy Mitchell (father of the US Air Force). Within 20 years, aircraft carriers were deciding factors in the Pacific campaigns of WWII; if the US and its allies didn’t sink Imperial Japan’s four carriers in the Battle of Midway, the outcome would’ve been quite different. The US losing wasn’t one. I think the two more reasonable possibilities were the conflict taking longer, giving the Soviet Union a chance to annex some parts of Northern Japan or the US agreeing to a truce/peace treaty which was the Imperial objective since Pearl Harbor.

They remain a big deal in projecting strength worldwide, for better or worse, as the US leads the way with 11 compared to the UK and PRC’s mere two; Russia, India and France have just one. Anything else call an aircraft carrier is a ship transporting helicopters, very useful in rescuing people unlike fighters and bombers. Here other countries have these: Japan, Italy, Brazil, etc. Sadly, Brazil, India, Turkey and South Korea think they need the kind we have 11 of. Then again, France, Russia and China have plans to expand their numbers too.

Anyway, 100 years ago, America made its first one by converting the USS Jupiter, a ship used to transport coal before and during WWI, into Langley. Why this type of vessel? It was the easiest to modify by taking much of the top elements off and replacing them with a landing deck for biplanes, the dominant aircraft around until fuselages were perfect by the Thirties. Who was Langley? He was a scientist and aviation pioneer. Not sure how he felt about having a future weapon named after him. While the Langley was being used to train pilots, conduct experiments in airpower at sea and sail around in naval parades for governments, the US began to redesign the upcoming battleships Saratoga and Lexington as aircraft carriers from the ground up. The Harding and Coolidge administrations had been busy agreeing to peace treaties limiting the construction of “dreadnoughts” yet experimental vessels were a loophole. I imagine they continued under that definition with the 1928 Kellogg-Briand Pact.

I’m not a huge fan of America’s bloated “defense” budget, especially when one of these multibillion dollar vessels could be scuttled by a score of Iranian speed boats filled with dynamite, or worse, a Chinese missile/torpedo. But one thing I think I could get more agreement on is who they’re named after. Nimitz is a no-brainer, he was the US naval commander in WWII. Eisenhower, not a fan of the POTUS but the excuse is him being the WWII Allied Commander in Europe. The US Navy named two after their big pork barrel benefactors, Carl Vinson and John Stennis who were both from the Deep South, what a surprise. Then comes historical figures: Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln and George Washington. Sadly, Lincoln was used for Dubious’ “Mission Accomplished” stunt and the Washington has been stuck in dock for years of repairs due to crashes on the deck. The remainder are controversial due to the political infighting: Truman (he was an Army vet of WWI), Reagan (sailed in time before the old bastard died) and Bush (at least he was a Navy pilot in WWII). The 11th and newest design since the Nimitz-class rolled out in the Seventies is appropriately named after the first POTUS nobody elected, Ford and like his name, it has been an embarrassment of riches. After pissing away $13 billion (imagine all the healthcare we could’ve had or student-loan debt relieved), it wasn’t close to ready at its launch date in 2018. It couldn’t even launch planes last year with the catapult and to get the damned thing operational by this year, parts were cannibalized from the upcoming Kennedy to make it happen. Given the Russian invasion of Ukraine and Chinese saber rattling Taiwan, I seriously doubt either are concerned about this boondoggle alongside the Osprey (another one crashed recently in Norway) or the overpriced, still overdue, F-35. We can only hope our foes are equally dependent on expensive toys with too many, impractical features.

Sorry, I lost my point about naming these obscene, floating piles of money. Again, war should be avoided but we should name them after American Naval Heroes, not the assholes who diverted badly needed money for domestic issues or shitty presidents. My suggestions: Farragut, (John Paul) Jones…no, not the bass player of Led Zeppelin, both Perry brothers, Mahan, Dewey and Rickover. O’Hare and Miller for their bravery and sadly, they were killed later on in WWII. I’m iffy about Hopper because her life’s work was being a pioneer with computers, not killing other people. Plus, if I were in charge of things, during peace time, I would have our carriers equipped and ready to be deployed for emergencies: earthquakes, floods and tsunamis, much less at blowing up children and people’s homes. I can dream.

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