They’ve got to be kidding with this so-called smart toilet! I understand we need to take greater care of our health given all the horrors we Westerners we eat and yes, I’m way, way behind schedule on getting the tube in the juxxie to make sure my plumbing is in good shape; I blame the Pandemic putting that off. However, given how easily our personal information is getting stolen by the Russians, Chinese and our own native sociopaths, alongside the untrustworthy, greedy Valley corporations, we have much to sweat. The latter will sell it to Big Insurance.
Back to the foreign enemies element. You may snicker about them wanting to collect data regarding American feces but North Korea takes bodily waste very seriously, as if it were a state secret. We all dictator-for-life Kim Jung-un travels exclusively by train to the other autocracies friendly to him. One special modification for his personal car involves the toilet not emptying out on the tracks which is how Amtrak deals with it. Kim fears his enemies will examine his poo for details on his (probable) poor health, he does smoke pretty heavily. I suspect Putin is the same. Xi is arrogant enough not to care.
With Amerika, the biggest client will be all those micromanagers demanding to check on how badly you had to go, especially the ones you have to hold back on responding with, “It’s that or I can just piss in my cube!” or “Next time, I’ll remember to weigh how much the turd was for you!” What am I thinking? This smart toilet will be a godsend for the slave-driving Amazon warehouses. Hell, I bet they’ll find a way to shut it down on their employees, namely those who “go too much.” Ick! The mess.
I will only be onboard with this high-tech marvel under one condition. The toilet will identify and publicly shame people who notoriously leave behind floaters.
Hard pass on a smart toilet!! Sounds like an oxymoron term!!