Your Highness

Here’s a dud that didn’t age well after 11 years with James Franco being revealed as a creep adding insult to the injury my eyes endured for almost two hours. I definitely need to see Danny McBride in The Righteous Gemstones to see if he redeemed himself to prove he’s actually funny given how this turd was written by a 14-year-old DungeonMaster.

I do know the premise wasn’t meant to be original, it was the execution you’re supposed to be lured in by. Imagine the pitch meeting…it’s Lord of the Rings meets South Park! That’s about half right. You’ll find South Park‘s vulgarity, modern-day drugs references and hand gestures for jerking off. Those bits just haven’t been funny since 2000.

Rounding out McBride’s tired comedy is Franco’s scenery chewing and Deschanel’s boring, flat excuse for what she thinks is acting. No idea why Portman bothered too. I guess she needed the money after Lucas wrecked her career until Thor. The action scenes are OK with one villain doing an interesting bit with what I recall Gary Gygax calling sympathetic magic; it’s how voodoo via a fetish (the doll people stick pins into) works. The villain sticks his hand in a bucket of goop and it controls a hydra-esque monster in the arena, Portman picks up on the association and knows to chop off his fingers to weaken the heads.

Anyway, should you stumble upon this (virtual) steaming pile, skip it, resist, do whatever it takes and hunt down a better take on a sniveling loser, runner-up prince lusting for glory, wealth, women and the crown, Black Adder (the First) starring Rowan Atkinson and Brian Blessed.

Thankfully, Your Highness is no longer available on Hulu and may it not be stinking up any other major services. Black Adder 1-4, including the Christmas Special is on Hulu!

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