1982: Square Pegs debuts

On this night forty years ago, the vanguard of Generation X yelled a collective “FINALLY!” when this show hit the airwaves. Below is the reason why it is this month’s Header Art too.

Oddly Square Pegs was on by CBS, the network most watched by the elderly and remains so. A SitCom focused on the trials and tribulations of high school in the early Eighties would scare aware the base waiting for the new Newhart show and those loyal to MASH. Why would the Tiffany Network risk it? Given the alternatives with the Big Three, I’m glad they did, it would pave the way for a future I list later.

The original fan wasn’t me but my mom. We were both watching some Sunday-morning show which focused on CBS’ new Fall ’82 lineup. Square Pegs came up and my mom’s interest was piqued due to the show’s creator, former SNL writer Anne Beatts. I wasn’t impressed by this and the sample scene involving Ricky Nelson’s daughter speaking in the (still) annoying Valley Girl manner told my 14-year-old brain, hijack the TV that night for more MTV!

Thankfully I was wrong and history panned out differently. Can’t remember when or why my mom tuned out. Me, I fell in love with the show. The focus was on the two awkward girls trying to gain acceptance from the popular crowd yet only two equally awkward boys were their best friends. Before Pegs, most SitComs I had seen about high schoolers covered the popular or semi-popular teens: Welcome Back Kotter and Happy Days. Same with the hit musical Grease. I may be guilty of selective memory, feel free to post a correction, it doesn’t hurt my feelings. Patty and Lauren’s struggles were relatable. I was never part of the cool kids club in grade school plus I had recently started high school. The latter was super depressing due to our move to Houston. Had we stayed put in Springfield, the transition to Griffin would’ve been smoother given all my former St. Agnes classmates being around in addition to rivals from the other ten parochial grade schools.

The coolest element was the music! Anne may have been a Boomer but she knew people my age didn’t listen to AOR crap exclusively, see how skewed Fast Times at Ridgemont is toward a Rolling Stone reader in their early thirties. The school’s radio station played the more recent bands featured on MTV when it was upsetting the complacent landscape on FM radio. The same could be said for the musical guests: Devo and the Waitresses! On the comedy front, people my age then were good with Bill Murray as the substitute teacher and Fr. Guido Sarducci, SNL friends of Anne.

A final factor was something I didn’t put my finger on at the time, I figured it out decades later when I scored the DVD. Pegs’ casting! Four of the characters were played by people under 18, something Hollywood continues to avoid whenever it can. Anne said in the DVD’s extra features, CBS pushed back on this and insisted on doing the usual thing: get people who are in their early twenties, it saves money and trouble. No matter how young those actors look, nobody believes they’re 14 or 15. Ralph Macchio is a one in ten million person. Good thing Anne found a production company with experience in making after-school specials.

Being TV, the cliques being compressed into composites couldn’t be avoided. Nobody on earth believes that the popular Valley-Girl-speaking Jennifer would be best friends with equally popular LaDonna, one of the few Black students in an LA-based ‘burb school. In real life they’d be bitter enemies surrounded with a cadre of like-minded asshole girls and they’d only be allies to hurt Patty and Lauren.

Anyway, Pegs watching was my Monday ritual most weeks. By the following Spring of 1983, it pretty much disappeared. I figured, “Crap! Bad ratings!” The end. I went on to other hobbies, etc. and the show faded away into a long list of short-lived flops. Sarah Jessica Parker went on to be in more stuff such as First Born and etc. until she became best known for the overrated Sex and the City show on HBO. Tracy Nelson was a nun in some mystery show with Tom Bosley. Jami Gertz had a brief role in a John Hughes movie! Sixteen Candles. Poor Merritt Butrick got killed off in Star Trek III and had a small role in Next Generation before he died of HIV-related illness. No clue on the rest.

The ugly truth about Pegs‘ cancellation did eventually surface before Anne Beatts’ demise. Ratings-wise, the show was successful enough that CBS planned to renew it. When the network discovered how rampant drug usage was amongst the cast and writers, they pulled their support. Beatts later admitted a few years later she lacked the experience and maturity to be a show runner. I wouldn’t say it was her age, the blame laid at the feet of her two past employers…The National Lampoon and SNL circa 1975-80, where the weed, booze and coke flowed alongside all the horrible excesses of the Seventies. She mentioned playing favorites amongst the cast too, not a smart move.

Again, I will always praise Pegs to the end. It made John Hughes’ six teen flicks of the Eighties possible alongside well-loved faves: Better Off Dead, Freaks and Geeks, Stranger Things, My So Called Life, The Wonder Years and Big Mouth to name a few. One day I hope to find where I packed the DVD boxed set so I can watch it one binge session.

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