Twenty-five years of Las Vegas, post mortem

What’s really funny about Las Vegas, a city that is always changing…are the elements which have remained the same! You’re probably going, obviously dude! The gambling! The constant hustles! The ugly underside which continues despite the Republicans replacing The Outfit with Corporations; different criminals. No one on this planet should be shocked on how all of Nevada has evolved and found a way to keep existing beyond being a giant litter box. Once the silver mines dried up, the place had nothing else going for it as the Feds own 84% of its useless land.

Back to my real point on how Vegas is a constant. Someone who has been there before say, the Eighties could counter this or confirm it, I nominate my sis-in-law Anje’s parents as they’ve been there way more than me!

What I noticed in 1997 via my four weeks of having to live near the Strip remains painfully true now. The city’s visitors and/or semi-residents, often demonstrate what Amerika’s (possibly Canada’s) upcoming trends will be, namely the excesses.

The first one was the proliferation of tattoos. They were already happening as the Eighties ended. Vegas showed me there would be those who’d forget when to stop. In Austin, I’m accustomed to them and the majority here have tasteful body ornamentation, Jennifer obviously does, the one on her arm is quite the icebreaker with strangers. However, Vegas seemed to be the place normalizing living graffiti displays. 

This was followed by piercings to the point the person resembles Hellraiser‘s Pinhead or one of my favorite observations from a Texan, “She looks like she fell into a tackle box!” I think piercings other than ears had a head start. I remember a Marquette classmate having one through the side of her nose in 1988. It wasn’t flashy and it took some effort to notice. You’d see a person or two around Austin in the Nineties too and most though, hmm, Lolapolooza is in town. Vegas? It was a regular thing. I should’ve bought stock in Claire’s and the Piercing Hut!

Before you dismiss me as cribbing Bill Maher’s crappy excuse for stand-up which is really, “Oh these kids today!” The tattoo and piercing stuff preview I saw in 1997 wasn’t all bad, these modifications just certainly weren’t for me and the trends really took the worst turn they possibly could, they’re cliche now.

The sadder and truly dangerous thing I continue to see is morbid obesity. Nothing inspires me further on getting my gym routine back on track (I picked up where I left off) than a trip to Sin City. You often see people who aren’t quite senior citizens, requiring motorized scooter-chairs to get around. Some with oxygen tanks. I would rather be dead than in such a pathetic state if I didn’t prevent it via diet and exercise.

It’s also ground zero of “I give up on trying to have some dignity in my attire!” I think Crocs are born and raised on nearby  ranches here. To counter this, I’m grateful Jennifer shares my adult dressing up for one night tradition. I like to be comfortable but c’mon people. There’s comfy and there’s just being an outright slob! Should aliens land in Las Vegas and judge our species solely on the people present, we’re screwed.

Lastly, I did see some casinos taking the hint on how ugly the future will be since Lake Mead is drying up at an alarming rate. The Excalibur and New York New York casinos were eliminating their fountains. Mirage is in the process of changing owners so all those poor Europeans anticipating painful heating bills can stop scolding us on how much propane the volcano wastes, the new owners are dismantling it soon. Netflix backed the wrong horror threat recently, zombies, it will be closer to the last Mad Max with people killing each other for water.

Can’t wait to visit next year or sooner. The new craps tables which combine electronics and a live shooter beats the pop-o-matic I despise. I’ll blather on about the zip line later. Cheyenne’s choice to visit Meow Wolf was fun.

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