Terminator: Salvation

Why‽ Why‽ WHY‽ Why do they keep making sequels to the well-loved Terminator film from 1984‽ I haven’t seen one worth a crap, the short-lived TV show included and my complaint includes Judgment Day but Salvation really shits the bed.

There’s a horrible, predictable twist to this one. Instead of Skynet sending its machines to the past to prevent a future outcome, we start in the present. An untalented Sam Worthington (Avatar) is a convicted murderer who volunteers his corpse for Science. Being a Terminator film everyone and their dog knows he will be a cyborg or his psyche is imprinted on a robot via Skynet.

Jump forward to the future (2018!) with John Connor leading the fight against Skynet and its minions. The weird part here, he’s not in charge! An international cabal of generals and admirals traveling by submarine are. I’m guessing Sarah is disappointed. If she isn’t, then she should be with the casting of mercurial Christian Bale, the worst Batman since Val Kilmer.

Anyway, there’s chases, shooting, exposition, repeat. Nothing really new or interesting beyond the Terminators having motorcycle versions, a giant-mech-like version which collects people a la War of the Worlds style and an obligatory, digitally retro’d Ah-nold cameo. The resistance having functional A-10 Warthogs is a twist. They were effective at slaughtering Iraq’s forces fleeing in 1991, maybe Skynet hasn’t figured them out. The Sam guy just repeats the role Ah-nold had in Judgment Day but he’s keeping Kyle Reece (Michael Biehn’s character) alive so he’ll one day go through the time portal…in a few years because he’s a teen.

I watched Salvation for it was on Netflix, needed to remove it from my queue, I loved the original and I wanted to see what happened here. How I regret it. How I want those 115 minutes of my life back. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Pass or delete. I have pledged to never bother with watching anything with Terminator in the title regardless of Cameron’s involvement or not. If it’s the 1984 original, then I’m sold.

This entry was posted in Movies, Pandemic Theater, Streaming and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply