The Exchange

Prez Grampa’ Brunch may have declared the Pandemic over and told us to just live with it, once again proving the Leftists’ point in how there is NO MEANINGFUL DIFFERENCE between the modern Democrats (really the NeoLiberal Party) and psycho Republicans, ergo, my section called Pandemic Theater for streaming older gems, which often never made it to theaters, will continue.

Today’s is a real treat by long-time Simpsons writer and Canadian citizen, Tim Long. On the long-running cartoon he penned the recently season finale, a musical explaining how Amerika is destroying itself via Hugh Jackman and Robert Reich. He also handled (and made) Lady Gaga funny (and somewhat human) in her appearance. My personal favorite is Lisa hanging out with an imaginary Morrissey. It worked, it made the real racist, vegetarian Fascist angry. Beyond the Simpsons, he used to write for Politically Incorrect, David Letterman and Mr. Young. He’s also chipped in on China, IL; and the Napoleon Dynamite cartoon. Not sure if he can make Bloom County into a viable show. The strip stopped being funny nor interesting when Breathed hung it up in 1989 (or 1990?) to go weekly in Outland and then backpedaled by the time no one gave a crap. But if anyone can salvage it, I would bet on Tim Long.

Now on to the actual movie which is semi-autobiographical, more on this later.

The story is set in the mid-Eighties and Tim is a very bored, lonely teenager enduring the daily grind known as high school in his small, rural Canadian town (population, a few thousand people). He doesn’t fit in. He reads Camus. He watches French New Wave flicks on the VCR. He is actually trying to do well in Canada’s mandatory French classes. He listens to bands “only faggots like” (which is what people said then, get over it thin-skinned Mills and Gen Z), aka The Smiths. Tim can’t even relate to his parents yet they’re trying. His dad runs a John Deere franchise and his mom is involved with the local festivities. In short, Tim is counting down the days until he graduates and leaves for a place where he can hang with like-minded friends.

One day, the French teacher tells the class about a student-exchange program which lets you host a French person of high school age for a semester. Tim is stoked. He rushes home to write the essay on why his family should be chosen; pretty lucky guy, he had a Mac in 1985-86! Obviously he’s chosen or there wouldn’t be any movie. Tim’s imagination and  expectations run away with him too. He figures that this French teen will share his love of all the things about France he loves. They’ll sit around discussing Goddard’s movies while drinking espresso, it’ll be awesome! Nope. Tim’s dreams are immediately dashed by the person assigned to his family…Stéphane, who appears to be the equivalent of all the stupid meatheads he attends school with. Stéphane couldn’t be any less “French” to Tim outside his chain smoking. He isn’t familiar with Tim’s favorite writers, directors or music. He dresses like a Rapper. All the landmarks Tim lists are what he dismisses as “tourist Paris, it’s not my Paris.” A rather fitting rebuttal too. As you can see in Stéphane’s appearance, his darker complexion implies he’s the descendent of immigrants, ergo he isn’t what most Americans/Canadians perceive of as a “typical” French person. Sadly, French whites have the same problem which is why Le Pen has gained ground in the last decade.

The frustration carries over when they go to school. Stéphane is popular with the girls and starts boning many of them in no time. He’s incredible at soccer so he becomes the star player. His presence even changes the theme to the town’s annual parade, it’s transformed in to some international thing. Tim’s hope for some intellectual relief in high school has become a new tormentor.

How the story unfolds, you’ll have to watch and see. Besides, there are other subplots going on: the mid-Eighties recession hitting rural Canada, bigotry towards the Canadian Indians (First Nations, not India), jealousy from the local constable and Tim’s parents’ marriage hitting the skids.

What I loved, as I often do with these types of movies, are the details and in Exchange‘s case, it nailed elements about my mixed timed in Beulah, ND. The small-town mindset which entails institutionalized bullying against intelligence while glamourzing sports. The daily boredom caused by the town’s remoteness from anything interesting. Tim may live in the province of Ontario which is where Ottawa and Toronto are but they’re hundreds of miles (or kilometers) away. To put it into a relatable, American perspective. Tim lives in the equivalent of far West Texas, say Marfa. Sure Texas is home to Houston, Dallas-Fort Worth, Austin and San Antonio but they’re not a day trip. El Paso is closer yet…it’s El Paso. If it weren’t for the US Air Force, the town would be even smaller and it remains a cultural desert. As for what I was like during those same years, I wasn’t the same as Tim except for tastes in music but we shared the outsider moniker. He had French culture, I had D&D and wasn’t afraid of effeminate things as I have always been secure in my heterosexuality after 1984. Well, I had friends in Beulah who could relate to the crap I liked: Jon, Mike, Darren, Jason (RIP), Paul and Scott. I guess you could say we were the Geek Mafia, hanging at the convenience store playing the couple video games they had. Lastly, I did love how Stéphane changes Tim’s perceptions about what is to be French. It’s the same as being an American. It isn’t something you’re born into. It’s something you are by conviction. It’s also something that cannot be dictated by racist powers who believe they’re higher powers. There are stereotypical behaviors each can’t dodge at times: French chain smoking, Canadian “politeness” and American loudness. Tim learns how French people are as unexceptional as his countrymen and you’ll see in the closing credits/epilog how Tim gets his turn in Paris.

Back to Tim Long, the writer and the name of the main character. Shortly after watching the movie, I bugged him on Twitter and we had this really cool exchange…

What a great and brutally honest answer. I thought the same thing in that “outsiders” are their own worst enemy in the end.

As of this posting, The Exchange cannot be found on any streaming services I know of and I chose to purchase it from Apple’s Movies store thanks to a friend giving me a gift card for my birthday. Should you find it by more accessible means, let me know ASAP.

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