Twenty-five years ago, I read my first James Bond novel but it was not written by Ian Fleming, it was Raymond Benson, the former Prez of the US fan club. He did a great job too. His Zero Minus Ten plot line and story were far superior to the then recent Pierce Brosnan release Tomorrow Never Dies and much more relevant; the UK handover of Hong Kong to China versus a weak parody of Murdoch and Bill Gates.
So earlier this year I stumbled upon a physical copy of this book at the public library. I never knew it was Bond’s third adventure too. I did figure it would be very different from the ridiculous 1979 movie Broccoli and Saltzman rushed together to cash in on Star Wars‘ popularity. I wanted to see how far apart the two media versions were.
In short, quite. The book was published in 1955 and you can tell by the language. The most immediate example involves Bond’s mission partner, Miss Gala Brand. All the men, heroes and villains, refer to her as a “good girl,” when she’s a full-grown, adult woman. Hell, she’s an undercover cop loaned from Scotland Yard to spy on the villain Hugo Drax as his personal assistant. There’s also less action, no cool gadgets and Bond isn’t a very good driver. He does beat the hell out of Drax’s flunky Krebs.
The Science Fiction element to the plot remains pretty improbable. Instead of a magic plant that kills only people being dropped from orbit so Drax and his perfect disciples can repopulate the Earth; Sir Drax is building a prototype missile to protect the UK from the Soviet’s nuclear arsenal, aka project Moonraker. A Fifties version of Saint Reagan’s SDI. However, Drax is former Nazi Commander Drache who plans to have Moonraker destroy London with a nuclear bomb. It will be his revenge for the Allies winning WWII.
What the funniest part of Moonraker was for me is how the whole plot gets rolling. Unlike the movies, there isn’t a super suspicious accident putting all the world powers on edge of nuclear war nor did Bond’s date get murdered by a creepy guy. Admittedly, Drax’s facility recently had an employee (a West German citizen) kill the RAF liaison but this appears to be a coincidence. The killer was nuts for Gala and murdered the RAF dude out of jealousy; Gala wasn’t dating the victim and the investigation corroborates this. Moonraker’s plot is initiated indirectly by M and the owner of Blades suspecting Drax cheats at bridge and they need Bond’s legerdemain skills with cards to prove this. Fleming’s play-by-play of the match is actually interesting. I loved the little section laying out the four players’ hands much like how I remembered newspapers doing it on a daily basis (or chess). Seems silly but it fuels M’s hunch about Drax leads to Bond figuring out he isn’t all he claims to be.
Lastly, what really blew my mind…Bond doesn’t do the horizontal mambo with Gala! Oh they go skinny dipping before Krebs attempts to kill them with a fake avalanche. When everything is wrapped up relatively neatly…if a small nuclear bomb detonating in the North Sea, killing the crew of a Soviet submarine (Drax’s getaway vehicle) and a UK naval ship with a BBC reporter onboard; plus tidal-wave damage on the coasts of all countries with shores touching this body…as per Fleming’s definition; Bond and Brand are ordered to leave the UK for a month while M works out a huge lie to the media. Bond as expected is stoked to give Brand his personal tour of France, expose her to the finer things the UK tax-payer will be covering and obviously, adding her to his list of conquests. Bond plans a kick-off dinner to celebrate, filled with anticipation. Brand arrives late, apologizes and tells him their recent adventure made her realize how close she came to death so she’s off to marry a fellow copy she’s been doing for years. Deflated, Bond wishes her well. Amazing, James Bond got beat out and cockblocked by a mere detective.
Glad I read since Fleming’s estate or publisher will be releasing new editions removing all the language which upsets thin-skinned morons who would never read these books when there’s 25 movies to access more easily.