With Jennifer moving in, I’ve been changing out some appliances and one thing she got me hooked on was an electric, “direct” kettle. A couple decades ago, my parents gave me a traditional kettle as a gift which is nice but the one at Jennifer’s old place was faster. So while I was at Crate & Barrel, window shopping for the dishes I hope to get one day to represent another step toward evolving into a boring adult, I spotted this gem in the return bin. Normally these Italian-designed (yet built in China, booo!) puppies run almost $200. I thought, mucca sacra! Definitely gave the cheaper brands/designs another look.
Then I discovered the returns rack and presto! the Italian kettle I wanted for only 80 smackers. I didn’t give a crap about the color, I can live with the Barbie look since I’m confident and comfortable in my “manhood,” (or whatever I was born as, my preferred term is “a person with good taste”). What set me back a tad was the name…smeg. Seriously? Nobody in Italy knows better when it comes to English/American slang and dirty terms? I was polite to the cashier, told her the more PG-13, über Nerd go-to, “Smeg off!” from the not-funny, rather boring show Red Dwarf, well, the British can’t help it, they can make humorous shows, they just can’t make decent Sci-Fi, adding jokes made the thing a chore. Before you write some angry comment, Doctor Who is Space Opera, there’s no real Science to beloved show.
Back to the dirty word, if you haven’t figured it out by now, it would be smegma, go look it up in a dictionary, wipe the little bit of puke you coughed up and continue to this post’s conclusion. Now remember, my kettle is pink and it’s shape. Yeah, I hold back your hair for round two.