Rot in Hell Ken Starr & Lowry Mays

Two more assholes who made Amerika the shit storm it is today finally died.

The former most people know, he was the guy behind the vendetta to undo Slick Willie being elected twice. Starr had a special hard-on to get Clinton for anything which is why he exceeded the instructions his special investigative role had. Then again, the Clintons are typical arrogant, egotistical and stupid Boomers so getting caught in a perjury trap was inevitable even if Willie weren’t a poon hound. One huge thing often omitted from Starr’s bio, obit and story was his motivation to remove the Clintons. They do mention he was Solicitor General under Bush the Elder, they conveniently forget that if Bush won a second term, Starr would’ve been nominated to SCOTUS to help the other shitbirds and rapists end Roe and take away more of our rights.

Starr left a trail of slime wherever he went too. He was involved with Mar-a-Lardo so he wasn’t a “principled” Republican like Liz Cheney (really, a Fascist herself). The other major crime he should’ve been prosecuted for was his time as President of Baylor University. He used his position to try and cover up 15 sexual assaults on female students, two by football players. Obviously he failed, resulting his firing in 2016. Given he was a Republican, I’m sure his initial reaction to the accusations were, “Oh, boys will be boys.”

Lowry Mays is much less known and probably preferred it that way. As a founder of Clear Channel, his horrendous media corporation contributed to the decline of democracy in the US since many radio and TV stations CC owned blasted Rush Limbaugh and other right-wing liars. Mays has a more indirect connection to the spineless and inept Clintons. During their administration, the Telecommunications Act of 1996 was passed, allowing CC to devour America’s electronic media landscape minus the Internet as this was in its infancy. Since the 1970s, assholes like Mays were only allowed to own seven FM, seven AM and seven local TV stations and none of the three could be in the same markets. There were grandfather clauses to protect other crooks like the Tribune Corporation, the Journal Corporation, the Hearsts, etc. who already did before the law. The law applied to new acquisitions which probably rankled Mays and his partners. St. Reagan opened it up to 12 in the Eighties, leading to some changes but eliminating the Fairness Doctrine was more devastating. This allowed the lying bullshitter Rush Limbaugh and his ilk to spread mis-information under the cover of their falsehoods being entertainment.

Still, 12/12/12 wasn’t enough and with the Newtster’s Contract on America regime, all protection was destroyed. Clear Channel went on a  spending frenzy, consolidating 2000 stations into one big homogenous wasteland spewing right-wing crap and identical music playlists in every city they were and the several they owned in the same city. Over 10,000 jobs were lost so whenever you hear about Republicans or Rich Dicks being job creators, remember how Clear Channel proves this to be a myth.

Remember how I mentioned the Internet not being a concern in 1996? I’m grateful it bit Mays and his evil regime in the ass. If they had pulled off their acquisitions in the Eighties or Seventies as they would’ve preferred, the plan to tackle all the debt buying 2000 stations creates might have worked…flooding the airwaves with ads as they do today, around 15-20 minutes per hour. The public doesn’t have to endure such noise. They can control their experience through their cell phones, MP3 players and streaming services. Often without ads or in some instances, they can skip them which I frequently do. It’s small wonder anyone under 60 religiously listens to either AM or FM for music. Now it’s old, dumb people taking orders from Tucker, Hannity or Laura on how transgendered Latin American refugees are going to teach CRT to their grandkids, never mind how the selfish Boomer generation pissed away those same grandkids’ futures with SUVs.

There’s more! Clear Channel got into satellite radio with Sirius/XM but it’s another money loser. One of the main satellites will fall out of orbit and replacing it isn’t cheap and it the service doesn’t has never had enough chumps to subscribe to get the biz to break even. They did get into Podcasts and Streaming yet hide behind the moniker of “I Heart Radio” because younger and informed people know Clear Channel is evil. Again, they’re probably fumbling as the average person is sick of ads, ask the crippled, dying broadcast and cable channels who are getting punched in the throat by streamers Netflix, Disney+ and Hulu.

If Hell does exist, then these two shitbags should have cells next to Bush the Elder, St. Reagan, David Koch, Rush Limbaugh and Phyllis Schaffley. I’ll also accept “It’s My Turn” Dole and “I was in Vietnam but I’m a true coward” John McCain. The other possibility I hope for is they’re added to a human centipede the previous dead jerks should be in. The person at the head, shitting into their mouths should be someone they all would be repulsed by yet deserves to be in Hell, say Robert Mugabe or Fidel Castro. Not just for their politics, both not being White is anathema to them all.

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The Victims of Communism Museum opened this Summer

What a load of crap! I’m just grateful no tax dollars being pissed away on this right-wing masturbation hideout. However, should Herr DeSantis or the other qualified Fascists get installed, we can count on tax money going there along with mandatory visits.

You won’t get any denial from me over the millions killed by Soviet-style Communism from the USSR to present-day Cuba. But I draw the line at saying Karl Marx shares the blame for the atrocities it’s list since the 20th Century on. Saying Marx has this much responsibility equates Adam Smith for the BILLION$, not million$, killed by Kapitalism since 1492 and the BILLIONS more killed by Jesus Christ, Mohammed and Moses, the big figures in the world’s three Abrahamic religions. I would also like to throw in Plato as he’s the patron saint of dictators, corporate apologists, Fascists and other enemies of democracy. Unlike the Abrahamic characters, there’s actual proof Plato was a real person, not a fiction, myth or maybe a composite of multiple people.

I think it would also be fair to find the rare survivor of Castro’s predecessor Batista, get some statements from them. Most of the “exiled” Cubans living it up in Miami for the last 60 years have ties to the murderous dictator and you never hear about plans to make Cuba a democracy should they return to power. Overall, the awful things Batista did aren’t any different than the Castro brothers. Just like how both current American Republicans and Democrats are sniveling corporate bitches.

Should I be in the DC area again, I may visit wearing a Che wearing Che shirt from the Onion. I will also ask the assholes “volunteering” there how exactly the millions killed by the Great Leap Forward is worse than the millions murdered annually by corporations for profit. You know, letting Africa burn thanks to HIV drugs being too expensive via Western patent policies. The hundreds continuing to die from COVID-19 daily because we just can’t allow the world economy idle. The millions who will die when the Earth is un-inhabitable through fossil fuels remaining dominant while the Koch Brothers (murderers on par with Mao, Hitler and Pol Pot) sabotage efforts to shift to renewables, unless their lawyers find a way to own the sun and wind.

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1997: L.A. Confidential debuts in theaters

Somebody brought this up on Twitter which got me to thinking, did I review this movie when it came out during the days Maggi Picayune was exclusively in print? No and Yes. No, not really in much depth as other Nineties’ flicks received. Yes, but it was just a blurb on what so cool regarding it in a summary about 1997 as it was lumped in with Cop Land.

Tonight, I’m giving Confidential its due since it theaters 25 years ago. The movie has held up while I feel Cop Land became just another by-the-numbers Crime movie with DeNiro, Liotta and Keitel with the shock of Stallone not stinking it up. I want to watch Confidential again soon and/or find it on whatever streaming I have…umm, none, nevermind, not even HBO Max carries it. Well, either way, I remember Confidential accurately enough given I was a projectionist when Warner Brothers re-released the movie for Oscar® season, I owned a cheap DVD of it which I would watch in French to learn swear words and I read the novel. More about the book, down the way.

Spoilers ahead and they’re fair game by now as this movie is 25 years old and the book hit stores in 1990!

A quick synopsis, which really shouldn’t be necessary (see Spoilers).

It’s 1953. WWII is over, the Korean War is probably winding down as it’s never mentioned. Scores of people every day are moving to California, namely Los Angeles, to pursue new opportunities in the post-war boom. But there’s a nasty snake in this Eden, Mickey Cohen. He’s in charge of the Outfit’s operations: drugs, gambling, prostitution, racketeering, loan-sharking and as needed, murdering those who don’t cooperate. What’s even worse is that the LAPD and DA can’t get any charges to stick until the IRS steps in, creating a power vacuum. What does this have to do with the trailer which presented a less interesting, not very compelling movie? Keep reading.

We are then introduced to the story’s three protagonists; a James Ellroy narration device I’ve grown to love, known as the Ellroy Troika:

  1. Jack Vincennes, a cynical narcotics detective with side hustles; he’s a consultant for a TV show (fictional Dragnet); he also takes kickbacks from tabloid/rumor rag publisher Sid Hudgens when arresting Hollywood talent.
  2. Bud White, more of a thug than a cop as he has a propensity for using his fists over his brains. He has a white-knight complex for helping battered women since his own father beat his mother to death when he was a kid.
  3. Ed Exley, a legacy uniformed officer. His surname is respected within the force because his father was killed in the line of duty by a purse snatcher. He may be ambitious yet he believes in doing the morally right thing, unlike the LAPD.

Their paths all cross one fateful night on Christmas Eve 1953 at a police station. Tensions are high despite the holiday mood in America. A couple patrol officers were assaulted by some suspects with just the reductionist description of “being Mexican and male.” The two are fine though, just bruises, minor cuts and damaged egos. Acting Watch Officer Exley sent them home to recover, a fact he makes clear to a reporter and photographer hanging out for a puff piece to put in tomorrow’s paper. The drunk, on-duty cops, beg to differ; as humans get their facts wrong via telephone. They’re angry and out for blood to avenge their comrades. They get their opportunity when several beat cops bring in some men matching only the suspects’ ethnicity. Insults are exchanged. Then White’s partner, Stensland, leads a Rodney King-level beatdown on these suspects. Exley tries to stop it but he’s locked up by others wanting to join in. Remember the reporter and the photographer? Their puff piece has now transformed into a front-page scoop with the headline…Bloody Christmas and Stensland is clearly identified in the front-page photo.

It may be the early Fifties and what these dirty cops did was par for the course (even today, especially in NYC, LA and Chicago)…unless its exposed by the Media. LA’s DA and Police Chief Parker have to punish the culprits with a trial. Exley gladly testifies against the advice of his immediate superior Captain Smith; Blue Lives Matter = Cops who rat out other Cops are traitors. Exley isn’t stupid nor naive, in exchange for his testimony, he gets the Chief to promote him to Homicide and the rank of Detective Lieutenant. Vincennes is forced to cooperate since the DA needs at least two officers to corroborate and Exley provides the means to the Parker to make it happen: his TV consultancy. Vincennes agrees to do it as Parker just hands him brief suspensions from the show and a short-term transfer to to Vice but he’ll be back in Narcotics within a year. White is suspended indefinitely while Stensland is fired with his pension revoked. So many cops want to kill or disgrace Exley.

Some weeks pass. Captain Smith has White reinstated, namely to be on his special task force to keep the Mafia out of LA now that Mickey Cohen is going to prison and all of Mickey’s lieutenants keep getting whacked. Exley deals with the resentment he’s receiving from Homicide, he pretends he’s made of stone. Vincennes makes the best of “boring” Vice by trying to figure out a phone number on a business card he found during that infamous Christmas arrest.

The main story kicks off when Exley answers a call from a patrol car asking for Homicide’s assistance. He responds and joins the uniformed officers at a diner called The Nite Owl. The patrollers frequent the place for coffee and food but they quickly realized something was wrong when nobody greeted them. They then found the staff and guests’ murdered corpses in the diner’s walk-in. Appears to be a straightforward robbery gone wrong with ex-cop Stensland amongst the dead.

I fell in love with Confidential immediately and it converted me into a fan of the whole Noir genre, both film and novels. The gun battle in the last act is one of my favorite action sequences ever made too. This movie is nearly perfect in numerous elements:

  • The cast! Kevin Spacey before we knew he was a child molester. James Cromwell using his new fame from Babe! Danny DeVito in a non-comic role. Kim Basinger doing something good for a change. Lesser knowns Russell Crowe and David Strathairn got Babe-level career boosts. Guy Pearce’s path has been more critically acclaimed stuff, Momento but I loved in him Iron Man 3.
  • The details! Recapturing the fashion and styles after WWII which was before the Fifties as we know it congealed. Sadly, the racism, the sexism, the violence and all the horrors cops could do with impunity before Miranda Rights are there!
  • The story succeeds in surprising the audience in its twists and turns. A couple plot points seem obvious in how they’ll be resolved…won’t they? The three key ones involve Captain Smith and Vincennes. If you read the book, sadly, no. You have a solid idea how everything will roughly come together.
  • The mix of fact and fiction. Was there a Nite Owl slaughter just as there was an unsolved Black Dahlia murder per Ellroy’s novels? No. However, before I left to live in Austin, there was a gruesome murder at a Brown’s Chicken in the Midwest resembling it. Some characters in the movie were real people: Mickey Cohen, Police Chief Parker, Johnny Stompanato and obviously Lana Turner. The leads are fictional. And other supporting characters are fictional versions of actual people: Sid Hudgens is Robert Harrison, one of the first to publish scandal rags, literally his was named Confidential. I wouldn’t know about the rest, they were probably excised from the novel to save time.

If you’ve never seen L.A. Confidential, watch it. If you haven’t a long while, watch it again and take notice of some cool things, namely what this writer brought up. I completely agree with the author, being seriously unfaithful to Ellroy’s novel was a rare instance of it working out. I’m really bummed out even more with the death of Chadwick Boseman as an original sequel to this was scrapped by Warner Brothers. It was going to take place in 1974 with Guy Pearce and Russell Crowe returning as Exley and White respectively, Boseman as a younger cop, probably discovering some ugly truth the old two know about. I’m also guessing Exley would be the Chief or the elected representative he was in the end of White Jazz. White? Not sure, at the end of the movie, he was too injured to be a cop anymore and was on his way to live with Lynn in Arizona. The most shocking part was getting James Ellroy to help out. I’ve met him twice and he’s never been shy about how much he hates the movie version of this novel.

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Talk like a Pirate Day ’22!

Ahoy mateys! It’s one of the goofiest celebrations around and can be difficult to pull off if English isn’t your first language. I’ve learned via my friend Jeremy, the Dutch are stumped even though their ancestors contributed to this wonder, romanticized historical period during the 16th and 17th centuries. Plus the whole manner of speaking “like a pirate” was invented by English actor Robert Newton for Disney’s 1950 version of Treasure Island when he played Long John Silver.

I used to love being in Las Vegas for it too. No longer. The doofus who bought the Treasure Island casino/hotel from the inept MGM/Mirage corporation shortened the name to TI, ditched the pirate battle attraction and transformed the joint into a giant honky tonk. There’s nothing wrong with the new theme, just change the name entirely so everybody is clear on the pirate element being gone.

Here’s what I recommend you doing if wearing the clothes, talking like a pirate and/or eating the greasy, fried food at Long John Silver’s isn’t feasible. Watch the best version of Treasure Island…the one starring the Muppets and Tim Curry. Or watch Yellowbeard on Amazon Prime starring members of Mel Brooks’ crew, Monty Python, Cheech & Chong, Peter Cook, David Bowie and a guy who resembles Adam Ant because the singer bailed on the role. Or Pirates starring Walter Matthau despite it being directed by sex offender Roman Polanski. Or Pirates of Penzance with Kevin Kline and Linda Ronstandt. Or the Ice Pirates with Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Ron Perlman, Anjelica Huston, John Matuszak and John Carridine; I have this on Blu-Ray somewhere. Or lastly, if you can find it, the TNT movie Pirates of the Silicon Valley with Anthony Michael Hall as Bill Gates and John DiMaggio as Steve Ballmer.

Catch ya’ next yerrrrrrrrrr!

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Well…I have things to work on

Much to my surprise, Jennifer reads this site. I figured she didn’t bother because we live together so she’s already aware of what’s going on in my life. Nope. In short, I hurt her feelings with yesterday’s post/story and I regret that regardless of her reading such matters (or not) since this trip to Vegas wasn’t smooth despite the things I did enjoy. Jennifer calling me a bully smarted too yet I deserved it given my skill at being cruel with words; I missed my calling in politics or comedy.

We hope to work it out since it’s the outcome I want and we have more in common than we don’t. I can’t read Jennifer’s mind, thus I cannot speculate where/how things will pan out. If I could, I wouldn’t be in such an emotional world of shit! It’s also why I’m probably buying my therapist MacBook Pros for her two kids when they get to college.

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Coming home from Vegas today/tonight

Had to say goodbye the other day to my new little friend Cee Cee, the lead cat at Tahiti Village hanging out in the landscaping. He was my favorite because he was talkative and slept by a palm tree with little cover to hide his location. I do hope he remains along with the black cat Montgomery, a couple cow cats, another brown tabby and this cute blue-eyed rag doll.

I decided to take a semi-real vacation this time by just letting Picayune rest while I tried to tune out the world and all its bullshit: the death of an inbred, the deaths of people who made the world worse, the ugly Midterm election and the GOP showing how cruel they are to suffering people. Oh there were great things too, those will be coming in the next several weeks since I did have a fantastic time again.

My immediate autopsy on Vegas ’22 is sadly mixed. The prices continue to get higher and more outrageous since the Republicans think it’s OK for corporations to launder money but not Organized Crime. Oh wait, they’re the same thing, just different ethnic groups and political allies. I did succeed in finding one Jacks or Better machine offering 9/6 and another with 9/5 but the Strip casinos are now offering 7/5, one was even 6/5, how lame! The other immediate issue was discovering how I will never take a trip if Jennifer’s mom is present. We originally planned this outing as a treat for her 65th birthday. Ergo, I gave up my timeshare usage for this, covered a larger share of the plane tickets (I insisted on the safer Southwest) and ponied up for meals/cab fare around half the time. I did see her give some cash to Jennifer at times so I guess she doesn’t have the same financial instruments we Gen Xers do. The deal breaker is how Brenda doesn’t smile and acts like someone is always pissing in her cereal bowl. We’ve had our Crossfire exchanges given her propensity to repeat the Right-Wing talking points she’s heard. Vegas is many negative things yet for me, it’s a city of joy, a place to let your freak flag fly and not give a crap until you get home. Beyond gambling, Vegas isn’t really for her. Plus if she’s going to “write me off” over a few differing opinions, then she’s a typical thin-skinned, hypocritical MAGAt who never deserved the respect of us edumacated libruls. Jennifer is planning a trip to New Orleans during its infamous Mardi Gras celebration, given how she wants to have her mother and her daughter’s deadbeat, body-odor’d laced stoner boyfriend along…I will decline unless I get one of two concessions.

Let’s move on to the positive before I board the plane in a while. We discovered a couple incredible restaurants we’ll need to revisit: the legendary Peppermill and the Hash House chain. You didn’t hear about my death via Fremont’s zip line (more later). Cheyenne was on the money with Meow Wolf’s Area 51 with its arcade (discovered that Jennifer is a Tekken 5 asskicker!), Omega Mart store/art exposition in irony-horror and just odd stuff. Numerous conversations with Uber/Taxi drivers from around the world, the coolest discovery was immediately knowing one guy was from Paul’s tribe, a genuine Chicago Sout’sider! Of course you know me, conversations struck up with people while waiting in line or something. Oh yeah, we got rides in Teslas three times. Doesn’t change my opinion of Elon Musk, he’s a prick. Lastly, the Casesar’s Palace people are trying to address my recent whining over craps. The traditional table game has just become too expensive given how I’m only middle class; even with inflation, $10 a throw is steep, gimme a $3 or $5 game. Plus, the recent pop-o-matic version is meh and as I told one cashier, they always look and feel as if they’re never cleaned, there’s a grimy, dirty residue I sense. Planet Hollywood had the new hybrid. Everybody sits a station, places their bets at it. One player gets to go up and be the shooter! Their station is mirrored up at the table for them and a human croupier remains to hand you the dice and have the camera make the outcome official. A really nice employee named Sam answered all my questions while it was my turn to the the shooter (the one time I was hot). The newer setup was already in the works before COVID, it isn’t to get more socially anxious people to play (but it helps), more for people who want to play yet don’t know the rules well and best of all, it’s CP’s effort to bring back the $5 game. One day I will really, really save up to have $200 to drop for one sessions (the feel of chips is amazing, especially when you have more green ones than you started with!), just not now. Lastly, Sam answered my biggest concern, eventually the new system will be programmed to let us place bets for employees soon. Fear not, after each game, I tipped the table when I left as per Vegas courtesy and tradition with “Thank you for the action.”

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I have very little sorrow for the Queen of England

Other than being one of the wealthiest people on welfare, her existence meant little… beyond showing how the US isn’t the only country against socio-political progress.

I will never understand why so many Americans, especially women, get all caught up in that inbred family’s affairs. The American Media is also guilty of wasting electrons on the one who married a mediocre actress; basic cable isn’t fame.

Obviously, many of you are tsk tsk‘ing me and/or saying, “Please don’t say such horrible things about the recently deceased. Elizabeth wasn’t all bad, she was just a figurehead.” HA! The old bat represented a dying empire in which the sun never set on their flag…and the blood never dried. Sadly, Amerika has taken their place along via the mythical “special relationship.” Ugh! There’s nothing special about a sickness infecting our resident WASPS and wannabes in Amerika, it’s called Anglophilia. I have nothing against the average English person, hell, I rather like them. They’re much like all nice people, they just want to get through their day and have a good time. It’s the people in power, namely the Tories propping up this disgusting family (see Epstein’s former client Andrew) who are the problem. Elizabeth was a privileged asshole who didn’t think she had to pay taxes until Parliament made it happen. She still thought it was the 19th Century.

For me, the queen was the focal point of what’s wrong with royalty and monarchs. As a descendent of people her ancestors shit on and/or murdered in their quest for empire, she deserves our collective scorn; many Irish chanted “Lizzie’s in a box” at a soccer game with my approval. She wasn’t just a mere figurehead in the Seventies as she abetted an illegal overthrow of a legitimately elected Australian Labour government at the CIA’s insistence. Don’t count on the Aussies to morn how she saved them from Socialism. You know the policy, it utilizes the government to aid the average person out instead of lining the pockets of the same old rich dickbags.

How glad I am to be heading out on vacation soon. In Las Vegas, there will be more energy and attention spent on the NFL’s opening weekend. I can avoid the repeat of 25 years ago when the queen’s ex-daughter-in-law died, forcing everyone to hear a terrible, reworked Elton John song ad nauseum. May the UK work toward becoming an actual republic but don’t hold your breath since Boorish Johnson paved the way for the horrendous second coming of Thatcher.

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Ravenloft returns!

I guess the rumors of Ravenloft’s return could be partially true. D&D’s current creative team just brought back Spelljammer which I bought several weeks ago and then there’s Eberron in 2019. Wait, it’s possible since the module which started it all hit stores 40 years ago.  The printed adventure instituted a couple changes in how D&D was played too. I think it was the first to have an isometric map of the “dungeon” areas and the villain, the immortal vampire Count Strahd von Zarovich, was someone your players became more acquainted with. Before him, vampires might have had names (Drelzna, Kas, Ctenmiir and  Belgos) but they were just another monster you kill and loot.

As for Kermit…he’s played this role before:

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Ugly ducklings should definitely apply!

I say, why not? Some people could use a good challenge, embrace a rather wild, impulsive career change! You could be one of those pests on a golf course, honking at all the jerks in the ugly pants! However, if you think becoming a swan will get you unlimited action as it did for Zeus with Queen Leda, reconsider. Today’s swan training has a lengthy one-day element about consent which is how it should be.

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So many amazing events/discoveries with people’s DNA

I stumbled upon a couple articles which blew my mind about Human DNA! First up involves these unusual pair of identical twins known as the Salyers. Or maybe they’re just odd or weird because the women always wanted to marry identical twin brothers. To me it’s just too specific and when you limit your options over such a trait, you may be closing yourself off to finding a better partner. They got their wish at the annual Twins Day Festival in Twinsburg, OH by meeting these dudes who fit the bill. They all got married and each had a son about three months apart. So these cousins are genetically siblings! It’s a thing I learned about called quaternary twin. The Salyers aren’t the first, allegedly there have been around 300 known sets in recorded History. I fear and wonder how many births were voluntary given we know how the Soviet Union did experiments involving identical twins the state’s early years.

The second story involves pseudo twins or doppelgängers. Spanish Scientists investigated what we’re all familiar with, “Hey, you look so much like so and so!” We’ve all experienced in one way or another. They hunted down 32 people via photography to find good matches while making sure the candidates had no family connections within a century. If you’ve seen the pictures, you will notice they’re not absolutely identical in every detail: you see minor differences like height, facial traits (nose, chin) and hair. People can make this out, recognition software cannot. HA! Take that Skynet and the other AI overlords! The zinger? They do share similar strands of DNA despite not being related and Nature scored a point  in the age-old argument between Nature v. Nurture; these people often have other stuff in common: education levels, smoking habits, weight, etc. Scary!

This brings back a really awesome plot point in an underrated movie I will always defend, Jupiter Ascending. It has some major flaws in its execution but I loved how Mila Kunis’ character (Jupiter) was genetically the same as the Earth’s previous and “rightful owner.”  Allegedly, these two people’s DNA being indistinguishable had a probability of one in a quadrillion. Given our understanding today is only ankle deep in the ocean of genetics, I have doubts on the validity of the Wachowski’s facts. Still, it’s a pretty cool explanation for reincarnation; what the aliens fighting over the earth called the legal term.

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RIP Dr. Frank Drake

Dr. Frank Drake passed away last Friday and he’s pretty famous to me and to many in Astronomy circles, namely for his equation that postulates the possibility of life on other planets in our galaxy.

Translated into English or layman’s terms, N represents the number of other civilizations presently (or maybe ever) in the Milky Way. It’s equal to these factors, how many stars are present, how many stars are on par with ours (G2 V), how many planets have planets in the Goldilocks zone, how many have water, how many have life, how many lead to life leading to intelligence and then lastly, what’s the chance of self destruction. OK, I may not have it to the letter but in general, it’s a pretty good start. These days, we have a solid idea on the stars and every year, we are discovering more exoplanets to close the gap there. The life and self-destruction variables I’d say are completely arbitrary since we lack examples to compare. I once say an interview of him on Netflix or something say he thinks the current answer is 10,000 probable civilizations spread out in the galaxy.

Dr. Drake did much more than an equation, he was involved with organizing SETI, found Jupiter’s radiation belt and proved that Venus’ atmosphere was thick like our oceans. Most importantly, he was instrumental (no pun intended) in getting the Voyager probes their golden records which contain sounds and pictures of Earth and us Humans.

Thanks for everything Dr. Drake! I’m really bummed about the numerous, short-sighted, politicians who lacked your vision on searching harder to for life elsewhere. Still, you got us further along than where we started and may something pan out at Tau Ceti or Epsilon Eridani.

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Villains

Villains isn’t a terribly original film about two robbers on the lam who break into the house of two psychopaths while hiding out from Johnny Law. Tarantino built a whole act around this with his poorly aged and overrated Pulp Fiction.

So what makes Villains different? The robbers are young, they enjoy snorting coke to get inspiration and their crimes are funding their goal of getting to Florida. Once there, they will quit cold turkey (crime, not drugs) to start a business. However, the duo’s moral compass isn’t completely busted when they discover what’s in the psychopaths’ basement. Now the psychopaths. What’s up with them? Their house appears to be a living time capsule if this takes place in 2018 (when it was filmed): a tube-based TV, the patterns, the appliances, their clothes, etc.; state-of-the-art for the late Seventies. The wife is also very protective of a rather odd baby. It’s unclear what exactly the psychopaths want from the robbers yet from the basement but it seems there’s been past victims or visitors (this is made pretty clear in the trailer, thus, not a spoiler).

In the end, is Villains worth the time? I whole heartedly say “yes.” It has a good cast, Kyra Sedgwick (long, impressive resume), Jeffrey Donovan (Burn Notice) and Bill Skarsgard (It) all do a great job. I wasn’t familiar with Maika Monroe; she holds her own with these vets. Odd twists and turns do happen, keeping Villains from being by-the-numbers. What I liked was how well the movie is made with its small budget. Nothing gratuitous. Nothing disgusting. Nothing pointless.

Currently Villains can be viewed on Hulu until further notice as of this posting.

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Metztli is dapper

Before Jennifer went to sleep for the day, as you may recall, she’s working overnights for the next couple months; she made this funny little TikTok movie of Metztli. A little silliness at the kitty’s expense since Metztli prefers to climb on to Jennifer and then sleep. Not sure whey I’m her second choice despite being her rescuer. It would be cool if we could get this cat to wear a real top hat, monocle and ‘stache!

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Good luck to Lisa Stevens on her retirement

Yesterday, Lisa announced her total retirement from game publishing after some 35 years. Not bad finishing out as the CEO of Paizo, a company which makes a rival product to D&D but personally, I really dislike Pathfinder‘s Second Edition because it’s too similar to the horrible Fourth Edition of D&D.

However this post is about praising her accomplishments and not airing grievances.

Although I’ve never known her personally, I do know Lisa was one of the smartest people in the D&D/Collectible Card Game business. I think her name and contributions should be immortalized alongside Gygax.

Lisa first crossed my radar around 1991-92 via her work with White Wolf’s first legitimate hit, Vampire: The Masquerade. Before this, White Wolf was just another wannabe that mostly talked shit about the dominant companies through their mediocre magazine. The legend is, Lisa is who saved the game from being a pathetic joke by having all the artwork replaced since it originally used more images in common with the Universal Monsters from the Thirties. Think Bela Lugosi. There was some validity to this as one of the main artists she hired was Tim Bradstreet, a guy my former employer GDW and Chicago’s FASA often hired, plus he used to live around Bloomington-Normal. Tim gave Wolf’s Vampire the modern look we often associate with vampires today: sunglasses, trench coats, long hair and the whole Emo thing. Lisa probably also pushed the game more toward Anne Rice’s stories than Horror. Never been my thing yet it sold and it did bring new people into gaming, so I applaud it even if many are the annoying Mall Goths.

She didn’t rest on her laurels though and left Wolf  around 1992 (I think) to join Wizards of the Coast. Had I know this sooner, I would’ve invested heavily in Magic: The Gathering when I saw it debut at Gen Con in 1993. Yeah, I was there before it became D&D’s version of crack cocaine by the late Fall. Instead I stupidly dismissed Magic as cute and it might get by since its main “problem” was…it’s a Wizards of the Coast game. For most of Gen X, Mills and Z, let me explain. WOTC had been around for a while, maybe they started in the Eighties. I don’t recall seeing their main game Talislanta (sic) anywhere other than bookstores such as B Dalton or Waldenbooks. They had ads in Dragon plugging how this Fantasy RPG was different with the tagline, “No Elves.” So you could see how I made the error of the past is destiny. Either way, I wasn’t for me. In my opinion, it combined two of gamers’ uglier traits which get out of control: (obsessive) collecting and playing too often. With the latter, many D&D games got delayed thanks to one player getting caught up in a “quick” Magic session if the DM was late by five minutes.

Lisa’s skills and savvy turned the industry upside down in a few years. WOTC was making money hand over fist. Cards don’t really cost much to manufacture once you’ve paid the artists for all the rights to their work. As Magic was taking the world by storm, I had tuned out from gaming due to my relocation to Austin and my wounds from GDW needed more time to heal. Sadly, the D&D industry follows trends just like Movies, TV, Books, Music, etc. Numerous copycats appeared and many were licensed properties: Star Wars, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Lord of the Rings, etc. They began to crowd out the roleplaying games yet I think a few older companies’ demises or big layoffs happened through bad timing: GDW, WEG, SJG, FASA, Chaosium, Mayfair and even the 800-pound gorilla, TSR. When I got to attend Gen Con again and for the last time in 1998, the overall mood was pretty negative. Magic had started a bad trend and computer-based stuff was making serious inroads now that the Internet was becoming ubiquitous through Ultima Online, Warcraft/Starcraft and Everquest. You could say, Lisa had a hand in hurting the industry.

Fortunately, WOTC being crowned the new ruler in the business had a silver lining. They saved TSR from going under and being cannibalized as GDW was, aka, Marc Miller’s plan all along. Magic: the Gathering is what provided the millions to do it and having the South Park characters plug didn’t hurt. This led to Third Edition, my personal favorite, and the big Renaissance D&D received in the early Aughts plus a the best version of Star Wars and d20 Modern. Lisa ran the Star Wars line until she either quit or was laid off, it doesn’t matter since WOTC got devoured by Hasbro Toys around 2002. Hasbro, nick named Has Been Toys, is on par with IBM or AT&T in its incompetence. They haven’t really invented nor developed any new, good toys in decades. Instead they just gobble up rivals to stay relevant, especially Kenner for Star Wars and I think Milton Bradley for board games. In the Nineties, they almost bought up LEGO.

Anyway, Lisa wisely took advantage of Hasbro’s cost-cutting idiocy by forming Paizo which licensed D&D’s two big magazines, Dragon and Dungeon. The latter is a personal fave. I have every physical issue from when Third Edition started and ended. Paizo used the five years to gain experience at setting up their own licensed version, Pathfinder. Another smart move because D&D Fourth Edition was a steaming turd and the shortest edition published. Practically none of its DNA can be found in Fifth unlike First through Third.

I’ll wrap it up by wishing Lisa a happy retirement. Maybe I’ll get to Gen Con one day and have the opportunity to thank her in person for her part in saving D&D and running the best version of a Star Wars game ever made.

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Kind dog helps a kitten out of the rain

It’s little moments captured on camera that warm my heart and give me hope, especially when our fellow mammals demonstrate kindness and compassion for one another. If they have this innate ability, then humans have more potential to do this. The clip is a palette cleanser after a couple major deaths this week. I love how the dog keeps stopping so the kitty can catch up and then when she (Calicos are 99.99% female) needs a nudge, the dog pushes her forward given how much deeper the water is at the end. The kitten’s vision may not be fully formed as she’s constantly mewing to let the dog know her whereabouts. I bet once they get inside, the dog probably asks their human, “Can we keep her? I always wanted to have a pet!”

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