RIP Cindy Morgan

Cindy had the dual role for Gen X nerds! Firstly, she was cast as the slut character in the forever funny Caddyshack. Being that it was released in the early Eighties, that means we got to see her in the “all together” many, many times on HBO and videotapes. I have to say Cindy was very brave to endure sharing the camera with asshole emeritus Chevy Chase. I would pay money for a special edition which has all his so-called comedy scenes removed, just have him around as the B-story character teamed up with Rodney Dangerfield for the final game. To give you an idea what an unfunny asshole he is, the slap he gave Cindy during the massage sequence was real. They had a dust-up on the set and Harold Ramis made her apologize to the drug-addled Boomer because he was having a hissy fit…and a couple rails of cocaine in his trailer.

Then a year later, the casting directors at Disney either knew about Caddyshack, or more likely didn’t as they were still focused on “family” films, picked Cindy as the romantic lead for Bruce Boxleitner and Jeff Bridges’ ex-girlfriend in TRON. She played the dual role of Lori in the real world and Yori the program in the mainframe. Maybe her wearing glasses a la Clark Kent threw audiences off. I’m sticking with it as I failed to make the connection for many years; being a product of the pre-imdb.com world! Right there with Melinda Dillon in Slap Shot and A Christmas Story, her gap was seven years.

Thanks for everything Cindy! You were a great actress despite my hormonal past putting you in a different part of my lizard brain until college. I’m mostly grateful for you being the primary guide to the AV Club when they did a tour of famous landmarks from well-loved movies. I do need to read the book on the truth about making Caddyshack. I bet you were a major, reliable source.

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The countdown has started for Vacation ’24!

I hope this vacation is one of two or three this year. I didn’t really go on an actual vacation last year.

Yesterday I received the go ahead to buy our plane tickets for our upcoming long weekend to a city I’ve never been to, Seattle! It was Jennifer’s idea as she shares the same gap in her experiences. We’ll be staying around the downtown area to be near the key things to check out: glass museum, pop culture museum. I hope to have some good sushi. My doctor said they have impressive clam chowder. It’s also a great chance for both of us to enjoy time away from work and together! I do enjoy Jennifer’s company.

Then I saw in the news about Alaska Airlines and their plane losing a door or panel shortly after the plane took off and was climbing. They’re very lucky nobody was sucked out as per the Action movies. How it made me point out why I wanted to take Southwest both ways. Yes, we’re taking Alaska to go there, Southwest to come home; Jennifer had a deal to use. So you can feel my apprehension. Then Jennifer reminded me why she’s a nurse and not a flak for the airline industry. When I sent her the story from The Guardian, she responded by channeling the ghost of Ray Kroc…well, nobody died.

The FAA and NTSB better do their job this time and not let Boeing weasel out of this. This current batch of 737s proves that letting corporations police themselves NEVER WORKS.

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Agamemnon sporting the cats’ collective present

It’s pretty obvious he isn’t keen looking like a bunny given his ferocious reputation he needs to uphold in front of two kittens and many fosters. At least Aggie has their cute little pink noses! I’m guessing he’s also annoyed from the hat because it covers up his real ears and despite centuries of domestication, cats continue to live at yellow alert from predators who find them delicious. More photos to come of the other four getting a turn with what my friend Kathy bought them.

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RIP Ruth Carter & David Soul

First up is Ruth Carter, a lady who only has decent name recognition in Austin songwriting circles. She and her husband co-wrote a song for the Fabulous Thunderbirds but wrote two larger hits for Stevie Ray Vaughn: “Willie the Wimp” and “Crossfire.” The latter was from his comeback before his death to propel Eric Clapton’s shitty, racist career.

Second is obviously more famous…David Soul. He will forever be tied to the ABC cop show Starsky & Hutch. I’m not sure it was groundbreaking or anything. When I was a kid, any program running at 9 PM on Thursday night on ABC (before 20/20 took over for good) was usually questionable for kids. I think I was wrong because indie station KPLR showed it during late afternoons when it hit syndication. David had two previous roles I recall very well: he was a lead alien in Star Trek‘s “The Apple” and he was one of the motorcycle cops Dirty Harry had to defeat in Magnum Force (the other was Robert Urich!). My friend Paul also brought up his hit pop song in 1976, “Don’t Give Up On Us.” Oh yeah, right there with Elton John & Kiki Dee constantly playin on the AM radio during my first big vacation as a little kid!

After Starsky & Hutch ended, David got a cool break being in the CBS adaptation of King’s book Salem’s Lot and the hilarious gang from Austin’s Master Pancake Theater brought up something everyone wanted to forget…him playing Rick Blaine in NBC’s series version of Casablanca. Yeah. The drama was a prequel to the famous movie. I originally believed it was a thing while I was in college. Nope, 1983, high school. I was continuing to watch TV heavily back then (really HBO or MTV usually); I never had the bad luck to watch yet I was familiar with the movie thanks to Ted Turner. He wasn’t the only actor sucked into this awful idea: Hector Elizondo, Scatman Crothers and an unknown Ray Liotta. Still…better than the possibility of Reagan landing the lead role over Bogart.

Thanks everything Ruth and David! You made great contributions to America’s vast trove of Pop Culture!

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1999: Ed, Edd & Eddy

The Cartoon Network rolled out its first new Canadian-produced show around this time, I could be wrong, but it was the first one done outside the Hanna-Barbera production teams all else went through. The show’s creator, Danny Antonucci, cut his teeth with them back in the Seventies before returning to Canada where he’d eventually start his own company making ads and bumpers for MTV. Then following the success of Beavis & Butt-head, the network OK’d his rather boring and pointless The Brothers Grunt. I had watched it once and thought it really sucked! It appeared to be an excuse to use a cartoon to wrap around more boring music videos minus the stinging insults Beavis & Butt-head made.

Allegedly someone made a bet with Antonucci to make a kid-friendly show and I’m glad he took it on for the Eddies were its genesis. Their journey to TV wasn’t fast nor quick. Since he had an in with the MTV networks, the cartoon was first pitched to Nickelodeon in 1996. Antonucci chose not to go forward with them because they wouldn’t let him have creative control so he defected to their rival the Cartoon Network…the rest is history. The antics of the Eddies in their cul-du-sac of Peach Creek would air throughout the Aughts. Most were about getting money to buy jawbreakers through Eddy’s ridiculous schemes. It had to be set in the past, I can’t recall any period in my lifetime when a Canadian quarter could buy a good-sized piece of candy.

What I loved most about the show was how it reflected the dynamics, the environment and the personalities of what my neighborhood in Springfield, IL was like from 1979-82. It was far from identical yet all the characters were relatable as they represented traits I and the other kids had. Which one am I closest to back in those salad days? I have to go with Edd, aka Double D, minus his obsession with cleanliness. I was dorky, risk averse, somewhat easily frightened and could be easily pummeled by a Kevin (or Sarah) while being too shy to say I liked Nazz. It’s easy to imagine Edd being an avid D&D fan too.

Thus it’s no surprise that the characters are based upon Antonucci’s childhood in Toronto! In interviews he says all three Eddies are him with touches of Rolf since he was the child of Italian immigrants. Obviously, he remembered what childhood was like when you’re not quite a teenager (can’t easily earn money) while simultaneously being too old for toys and “baby stuff.”

If you’ve never seen Ed, Edd & Eddy, I highly recommend checking it out for it’s one of the few things Zaslav hasn’t shit on by removing it from HBO Max…yet. Otherwise, they only live on through rentals or direct digital purchases.

Thanks for making this show Danny and bringing elements of my “ideal” childhood to life.

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The Last King of Scotland

I’m glad before seeing this incredibly inaccurate movie I caught the podcast Real Dictators and a similar show on Netflix. All three sources were spot on about how fucking disastrous Idi Amin was. The movie’s major sins were:

  1. Messing with the timeline of events during his rule.
  2. Highlighting only the major disastrous things he did for purposes of storytelling because a few major murders and the war with Tanzania were omitted.
  3. The creation of Dr. Garrigan (McAvoy) as a person who never existed not help the audience follow along, minor spoiler alert, he didn’t escape as the ending shows.

It all begins with Garrigan graduating from medical school but he doesn’t want to join his father’s steady, boring practice in Scotland. He would rather make a difference. Ergo, off he goes to Uganda which gained its independence from the UK some few years earlier. He figures this will be part adventure and part Good Samaritan after everything the West had done to the numerous African lands. Within weeks, President Obote is overthrown by Amin. The older, more experienced doctor running their clinic in the countryside warns Garrigan to be careful, reprisals against Obote’s followers will likely follow.

Then through a chance meeting, Garrigan encounters Amin’s motorcade due to one of the vehicles injuring a farmer’s cow. Amin is impressed with the young doctor’s initiative and resourcefulness. Garrigan being Scottish helps too for the new “president” is quite fond of their culture. This eventually leads Garrgian to becoming Amin’s personal doctor, then the minister of health and then an advisor to the “president,” all while being oblivious to the paranoid, murderous, sociopathic tendencies Amin has…until it’s too late. Some of it is the doctor’s desire to see the good in all, another element is how he enjoys seeing an African leader sticking it to the English.

I don’t know if the film was covered by Hollywood v. History before the History Channel joined the ranks of showing White Trash Under Pressure = Cheap Entertainment, but this would be a great candidate. If Real Dictators is spot on, older Ugandans who survived the eight-year terror of Amin’s brutal dictatorship just hate this movie since the generations born way after 1979 think it’s factual. I’d say they’re Americans! Given the current worship of Reagan and Nixon, I get their serious complaint.

Anyway, Scotland‘s primary flaw is its timeline which is both compressed and complete absence of what year it is when the various horrors occurred. It didn’t unravel overnight, it was a slow burn, mistake by mistake made by Amin. His love of shopping in England was ignored too; he pissed away much of the country’s GDP on booze and fancy clothes. The sinister murders of Bishop Mubiru and two Western journalists getting left out mattered, it’s when support for him in the West began to waver. The story concludes around the Entebbe debacle Amin chose to get involved in so I can forgive coverage of the war with Tanzania being dropped for it was his last, desperate move to stay in power. Declaring a war with a neighbor or “other” is a standard dictator move to cover up all the failures on the domestic front; see Putin with Ukraine, Bush II with Iraq, Hussein with Iran/Kuwait and I fear Milei will pick a fight in a couple years when his “reforms” put Argentina in a much worse state.

Is this worth watching? I guess. Whitaker proved why he earned his Oscar® and it is very disturbing story with enough truths. It just doesn’t tel the whole story accurately enough and I find this troubling. Too many people acquire their “facts” through “based upon a true story” crap instead of seeking better sources, namely books, documentaries (not obligated to be entertaining) or podcasts.

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Ten million steps!

According to the iPhone app Pedometer, I achieved this landmark today! I could’ve been there sooner if it weren’t for COVID-19! It sounds better when you use the caught bad-guy voice from Scooby Doo! The slow progress wasn’t all me being a fat slug, it’s hard to get in enough steps when you work at home. The bathroom, the lunchroom, your boss’s cubicle and the breakroom are all much closer too. Not sure if anyone has an elevator installed in their place. I hope to live long enough to achieve 20 million with four years.

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Happy New Year from Austin (2024)!

Hey hey! We made it to the New Year. Not like there’s a Y2K situation on the horizon but I think there’s something to ponder or sweat when 32-bit processors choke, if they’re still in use. Meanwhile, the weather was fantastic! I couldn’t convince Jennifer to join me so my friend Kathy did. Her dogs didn’t want to miss out neither. Below is Flash, I think he got the name ironically, even I can outrun him in my fat state. Hundreds of others had the same idea to enjoy Town Lake (really a river).

If you didn’t get a card and/or letter, sorry, tell me you want one next time yet I wish you all the best. I think ’24 is going to be pretty decent despite the election being a complete shit show nobody wanted.

Now to explain the Header which celebrates why ’24 is special to me in many, many ways:

  • 50 years ago, Dungeons & Dragons was published. Be ready to see it evolve.
  • 40 years ago, a favorite little cult movie was released…Repo Man starring one of Martin Sheen’s unknown (at the time) sons.
  • 30 years ago, I decided to quit my miserable job and life in Central IL and lucked out on my opportunity to move to Austin later. Charmed Life Theory 1-0!
  • 25 years ago, the Cartoon Network debuted one of their best shows from Canada, Ed, Edd & Eddy.

The plan is to continue having a GIF celebrating more anniversaries in these departments of my goofy life. I think they’ll get a little follow up too. Oh yeah, count on progression on the bars with my cycling to Melbourne! I’m going to finally hit 10,000 miles if it kills me.

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So long 2023, you started poorly but had a strong finish!

Forgot to show off my new Christmas shirt, a great mash-up! Thank you Fright Tees! And so another year comes to a close and we’re on the cusp of a new opportunity. The headline said it best too. After New Year’s Day, it was a slog and then I contracted COVID-19 for the first time. It sucked! The after effects were pretty severe on my anxiety and depression. I wasn’t out of the woods until Summer thanks to owing the IRS about $1100 which is due immediately while the Pentagon gets to misplace billions without punishment!

Yet, I got through it all piece by piece. What helped was Jennifer’s support on many levels, better leadership at work who shares my strategy of focusing on the people not numbers and just great friends. I know it’s cheesy but I feel like George Bailey, I’m a very wealthy person in a way that isn’t monetary…plus, I don’t need them to pony up cash to keep from going to prison thanks to the evil Mr. Potter pocketing the deposit.

I honestly am looking forward to ’24 despite the upcoming presidential election being the worst one yet in my lifetime. How I wish when this was said about ’20, ’16, ’04, ’00, ’92, ’88, ’84 and ’80, it remained true and all the bullshit hyperbole giving the corporate media a hardon every time they say “unprecedented” would stop. Then we could start focusing on what is truly important, reforming the problems and rooting out the corruption thanks to ’24 being an election between not just two but a few parties with competitive ideas.

Beyond politics, I think many more positive things will happen. Concerts, namely Aussie Power Pop legends Hoodoo Gurus coming to Austin; Comedy, too many to name quickly; a trip to Seattle, hopefully another one to Vegas; debts paid, namely my car; and completing more than two of the 10 resolutions, I’m ahead. The biggie? Celebrating 30 years in my adopted home of Austin. Overrated as per two people on Twitter? Compared to say some heavy hitters abroad, I can see. Compared to LA and New York? HA. Overpriced and filled with dicks from the same gene pool. Compared to some other cities of Austin’s size, I could see it yet I come from a background where Chicago was the center of the universe and as much as I loved it, namely the food and the mythical John Hughesverse, Austin weather and embrace of diversity clobbers the Windy City.

Happy New Year!

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Great, short clip about accents

I miss the days when my French was really starting to congeal before Patricia left for home (France) and as I deal with my struggles in Italian, this video made me laugh while getting me to realize, oh! Then again, I never worried about my accent because I know the French can always tell I’m an American via other, obvious hints. Contrary to anecdotal incidents, whenever I try to meet a French person halfway at my job or in person, they’re always kind and patient with me struggling to speak their native tongue. French French for sure! The Quebeckers, dang they’re rude. Last time, he said, “Just tell me in English please.”

Another cool side effect of living in Austin popped up after residing here for only a couple years, I could understand my Puerto Rican friends much better. Not like every word, closer to every five to 10 but the thing was, after interacting with the numerous Latin American residents we have (not everyone is from Mexico), I could at least discern José and Nelson’s accents from at least Mexican, the most common. To me, they no longer sounded alien, more like what the average American would sound like if they were fluent. Compared to Latin Americans, my buddies had very flat, semi-Ben Stein sound when they spoke. Ergo, I could understand the gist of what they were saying (usually) versus being a Midwestern bumpkin in the Eighties.

Next year, I’m going to keep pushing and trying. Sure, if the video is true, my Italian will always suck because I can’t sing. I also refuse to talk a like a Chico Marx, unless I’m telling a joke, then your audience expects it.

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The divorce is now 100% over

The good news, we’re still friends because we want to be, not that we’re forced to as other former couples due to childcare or real estate. Even then, I think some animosity remains in those situations. I wouldn’t really know personally. I’ve been very fortunate to also have friends who are doing fine with their exes, no vendettas a la Heard v. Depp. Gotta’ admit it was fun learning what a ‘grumpy’ was during the cross examinations while imagining her, a somewhat pretty woman leaving a deuce in their bed. Gross and hilarious! I can’t believe an R-rated comedy hasn’t done this. Biohazard maybe? It’s Always Sunny in Philly had a field day with the premise “Who Pooped the Bed?”

So what you already asked? Where are you going? Right. The divorce between Somara and me is 100% final due to her finally receiving the last chunk of money I owed her. When the  ink dried on the paperwork for refinancing the house to my name only again, I gave her a check for $10 grand on the spot with a promise of another $20 grand. Given how long COVID-19 dragged on, short of winning the lottery, there was no way in Hell I could pony up even a quarter of it for I also got saddled with the IRS bill for ’18. The compromise was to give up another chunk of my 401k, but $25 grand as the extra five compensated for my lack of cash. We both agreed in writing and you’d think, problem solved. Nope, it dragged on for another three years thanks to lazy Texas judges, the stereotype of Boss Hogg isn’t a fiction outside Travis County, and then our 401k handler. Not sure why the 401k people cared, we work for the same employer and have the exact same “broker.”

It’s over and we both feel relieved. Me especially. I didn’t want Somara to have the feeling I was dragging my ass. Quite the opposite. Now with what was called the QDRO behind me, it’s just in time to borrow against, again, to fix up some things around the house as per Jennifer. Why not? The previous five gees I borrowed to shore up the foundation in 2020 is nearly done.

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Nimrata Haley shows her willingness get a D- in US History

I wish I could’ve kept up the streak of no politics for the holiday break but the Republican circle jerk to defeat Orange Foolius and then Grampa’ Branch is too ripe not to mock. In an attempt to gain the Neo-Confederate vote, the moderate Nimrata tried to obfuscate via a word salad on what was the cause of the (American) Civil War. All the usual debunked shit was stated from the Libertarian and Confederate revisionist playbook. The questioner saw through it, got a good follow up which resulted in her terse demand of “What do you want me to say!” I loved the questioner’s finale, “You just answered my question.”

Too bad it won’t sink her campaign let alone her career. This asshole was the governor of the state responsible for starting the fighting (Fort Sumter is in Charleston, SC). Nimrata wouldn’t do anything about the Confederate flag flying at the state capital until it was so indefensible, she grudgingly did something. Nevermind it’s the flag of terrorists. She also has a sweet gig sitting on Boeing’s board while her state’s factory is the one building unsafe passenger jets, not union-based Seattle. She’s a piece of crap cut from the same cloth all Republicans supporting Trump come from. Remember, she was his UN ambassador.

Her biggest mistake with New Hampshire was thinking everybody living there is a selfish, Ayn Rand-reading, Libertarian douche who believes a mythical “federal overreach” caused the US Civil War, Lincoln had no interest in “confiscating” the South’s real estate nor did anyone else in the North or Midwest. It’s as stupid and implausible as the fictional State’s Rights argument the Deep South used in the Fifties to Seventies; in 1860 they wanted the Feds to override the Free States’ right to not cooperate with slave hunters. Don’t get me started on the tariff lie. What made Nimrata’s ramble more egregious was her use of this imaginary “freedom” crap and how citizens of the 1860s demanded the government to do more by providing affordable healthcare, school lunches and protect the right to abortion! Yet this “freedom” her litany of bullshit described didn’t apply to the four million enslaved Black Americans of African descent. Oh right, she’s a light-skinned, likely from treatments other South Asian women undertake in India for their caste system isn’t dead.

Nimrata showing her true colors and current back-pedaling today won’t matter. What she needs to start working on is getting down on her knees and seriously kissing Girth Vader’s big fat ass for a cabinet post. Some pundits think she could be veep. Given the creep’s past, vindictive nature, I’d say Nimrata will be lucky to be an ambassador to a “shit hole” nation.

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RIP Tommy Smothers

One half of a very clever and inspiring duo. I was never a huge fan because they were really big before I was born or when I was an infant. However, they had a subversive streak that was more than just being cancelled on CBS; they were hosts of SNL at least once and there was a skit I remember very well from the early Eighties. Tommy couldn’t spell a word right on the hot Speak n’ Spell toy, making it respond with “I hate you!” The camera panned to brother Dick saying, “You can give the gift I never had, being an only child! So use these!” and he thrust a box of condoms out “Or live with that!”

Tommy was quite the Renaissance Man too. He did a very excellent impression of Johnny Carson, his skill with yo-yos was something and I swear he and Dick loaned their singing voices to a skit on In Living Color. His comedy was something I need to look at more since he also earned the wrath of Bill Cosby. I figured the monster only attacked other Blacks for their “ethnic,” raunchy comedy: Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx, Eddie Murphy and others. No, one night Tommy showed him up (I’m guessing getting more audience love and laughs) and so Cosby threatened to kick his ass. He did it too one night at an LA Playboy Mansion Party (before it was a gross, sad place), hitting Tommy from behind, knocking him down. Being the coward Cosby has proven to be, he immediately hid behind Hefner. This added to my anger at the man formerly loved and known as “America’s Dad.” He couldn’t share in the joy of others’ success as they would’ve for him and oddly, he used his fists when we all know he preferred to drug those he planned to assault. Justice has been served. Cosby is despised and prison bound while peers came out in the hundreds to express their love for Tommy.

In closing, let’s thank him for being in on the decision to hire two writers who’d influence future comedy. Steve Martin and Lorne Michaels.

Thanks for everything Tommy! You and Dick pushed the envelope. Took a stand for what you also believed in, losing a lucrative TV show in the process. You helped pave the way to be the shoulders for all the next giants to stand on and they let everybody know how you were involved. That is one amazing legacy!

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The weird part is that it didn’t come with any batteries

And if you must know, I didn’t receive any LEGO sets for Christmas from Jennifer or any member of her family. They think I have too many. NEVER!

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Kid, you told your uncle you wanted a switch

This is why you should be very when you ask that bachelor uncle who works in IT on what you want for Christmas. Besides, if you don’t want it, I’m sure the same uncle will find a use for it immediately.

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