The Blackening: Must See

A new addition to my newfound enjoyment of Horror but it follows in the same foot steps as Scream and Cabin in the Woods but unlike the former, it’s good. Obviously by the cast and title, it’s turning traditional Slasher movies 90° as it focuses on all the tropes involving Black Americans. Everybody knows, with the exception of Scream 2, the Black character is never the first victim. It also plays on the stereotypes of Black Americans with the victim pool: an Urkel, the Gangsta’, the One with a White Parent, the Gay One, the Professional (doctor/lawyer), the Joker and the One with a Parent from an African Country. Plus other things: they all know how to play Spades (I met some Black students who loved this card game when I attended Marquette, I thought it was a Milwaukee thing), telepathy between the women and jokes you’ll hear/see as the movie progresses.

The plot involves nine university friends having a tenth anniversary (graduation) party over Juneteenth weekend at a remote cabin in the woods. I’m guessing the film’s release coincided with this but it would’ve been a bigger success during the Spring or Fall as the Summer Blockbusters killed it. Anyway, the two hosts are killed off early to give the audience a taste of what’s to come; in order to live through the night, they must defeat a Black History trivia game with a very racist image at its center called The Blackening. Some questions are easy, some are funny (you’ll see) and some are nearly impossible since they turn friend against friend.

Despite it being obviously targeted to Black audiences, it’s an accessible movie for anyone because at its core, the points are universal: friendship, survival, betrayal, old grudges, fear and inside jokes between old friends. Other elements are matters Black Americans (and Canadians) understand, like arguing who is really “Black.” Overall I’m perfectly good with movies aimed at niche audiences since MCU and Star Wars has my Nerd Life covered so Black Americans, Gay Americans, etc. deserve the same courtesy. Plus I should go see these films more often to get out of my comfort zone. It won’t transform me into an Uber Ally or a better Leftist, yet I think it could give me a splinter of more understanding while being entertained. Either way though, The Blackening is a million times better than those awful Scary Movie flicks which lack focus and just can’t recapture the shotgun approach of gags Airplane! or Mel Brooks’ prime in the Seventies.

Alamo Extras:

Saw this at the South Lamar location and I guess the theater didn’t have anything due to the construction; they’re transforming its wonderful lobby into one more theater, or worse, Alamo didn’t bother put anything together which is a shame. The Blackening is a fertile movie for pointing out other source material the audience would enjoy. I’d go with a mix of Blaxpoitation stuff such as Blacula, JD’s Revenge and The Zombies of Sugar Hill (They Cloned Tyrone maybe but it isn’t out yet); other Horror movies in which there are Black victims but they’re not first (Alien, Night of the Living Dead, Us and The Thing); the rising popularity of Juneteenth Day across the US; maybe a little montage of Urkel from Family Matters; trailers other great Black comedies I feel are its ancestors…Hollywood Shuffle, I’m Gonna’ Git Ya Sucka or some skits from Living Colour: and throw in some of co-writer DeWayne Perkins’ standup routines. However, Alamo Drafthouse should’ve consulted a Black employee first over my suggestions.

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DPS is suspended from Austin again, hopefully for good

It took a near-death incident to convince the Austin government to give DPS the final heave ho to solve the ‘cop shortage.’ During a ‘routine’ traffic stop, by Boss Hogg’s men, the suspects were pulled over for being brown as usual…in front of their house. The ten-year old kid who needed to use the toilet didn’t understand how trigger happy DPS is so he hopped out of the car, headed to his house. A trooper pulled a gun on the kid and I would not be shocked if the kid soiled himself, I know I would.

I’m confident the Texas Lege dominated by the Fascist Party and shit bag governor will find a way to sneak in a bill during the special session trying privatize education, stripping Austin of its rights. Thus, the DPS brownshirts can come back in and do their worthless policing. For a party that rants and screams about freedom, it’s awfully selective.

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My ‘crude’ skills with Photoshop July ’23 edition

My friends Helen and Paul are in the middle of moving to a new house. Regardless of the circumstances, we all know moving is a colossal pain in the ass! It’s a huge reason why I have fought tooth and nail to say in the same house fo 22 years…the packing, the cleaning, the back pain even if you hire movers, etc. To cheer Helen up, I made a little visual joke for her to get a chuckle. Paul of course got it since he hates Green Bay. See if you can find it!

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I guess someone yelled at the contractor, July ’23 edition

Yeah, if anyone tells you to jiggle the handle, ignore them but you should ask the door to turn its head and cough if it’s locked.

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Crazy Cat Lady starter set from Playmobil!

Odd, it only comes with four cats?

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1863: The US has its first military draft

It’s one of the crappy legacies of President Lincoln. With the Civil War dragging on longer than expected, mainly due to him having incompetent generals and their underestimation of the Confederacy’s resolve (still murderous terrorists, not a legitimate opposition); a draft was required.

Why after two years into the conflict? At the beginning, there wasn’t any trouble getting enough volunteers. At the declaration, many young men wanted the experience since they probably bought into the bullshit canon of literature from the 19th Century and loved the stories told by veterans of The Mexican-American War or 1812. A common refrain you’d hear from someone using peer pressure on a friend would be, “C’mon, you don’t want to miss out because we’re going to whip the rebels and the war will be over in three months!” The seeds of future problem was also sown 

A couple years of stalemate and the horrors of 1860s tech being utilized against 1840s tactics and strategies were enough for most enlisted men to call it quits. This left Lincoln with a shitty choice: negotiate a settlement with the traitors or gamble on the upcoming midterm elections if Congress issued a draft.

We all know how it panned out, the Republican majority voted to authorize the draft. Being Republicans, they also gave a loophole for their wealthy kind and patrons, draftees were exempted if they paid the Feds $300 (which is $7000+ now). Now it was official, it’s a Rich Asshole war and the poor and the middle class do all the dying. Lincoln was a dick here too. His oldest son kept pursuing his studies at Harvard. With the South, it was definitely a Rich Asshole war given only they had a strong stake in the outcome with their vast plantations requiring the six million enslaved people. They were a minority with all the power. In the rest of America’s defense, the Rich Asshole element would be the usual shit bags who made bank supplying the US Army and Navy and if they did “fight,” they were obviously the best choice for officer ranks.

It wasn’t hard for many to see through the Republican Congress and Lincoln’s hypocrisy. A horrible riot broke out in NYC’s Irish immigrant area. Republicans had no trouble having the Know Nothings in their camp, a political party whose main issue was expelling the Irish Catholics (and any other ethnic Catholics). Now the Irish were A-OK, even those who weren’t citizens, to be the US Army’s fodder. The most upsetting part was the Irish rioters taking their rage out on the wrong New Yorkers, Black New Yorkers. Lincoln was still wavering on allowing Black recruits despite frequent pleas from Frederick Douglass and other Black leaders. He feared this would make Maryland and Kentucky defect and the Pro-Union but Pro-Slavery Democrats in the North would capitalize on how he was trying to change the goals of the war. Lincoln should’ve given in sooner. The rioters murdered numerous Blacks and burned down an orphanage.

The Republicans were lucky their cynical ploy worked. After Gettysburg, about a week earlier, the Civil War had turned against the South. Lincoln would finally get the right generals in charge: Sherman and Grant. The latter leader knew what the key to victory was, defeat and capture the opposition’s head general, Lee; stop wasting time taking their stupid capital. Lincoln’s son Robert did join the Army near the end and got a cushy gig on Grant’s staff…how the powerful sufferʼ, as a Captain.

Sadly, nothing changed. The US would have drafts for WWI, WWII, Korea and Vietnam. The only difference, the draftees couldn’t write a check but the Rich and Powerful continue to keep their offspring with candy-ass officer positions on staffs or later, they’re too sick. The poor really felt the brunt of Vietnam since both parties provided enough loopholes for middle-class men via deferments.

Many Tricky Dick apologists give the brooding tyrant too much credit for ending the Draft in 1973. This was another clever slight-of-hand. What he did was raise the base pay for joining voluntarily enough to maintain the numbers the US would require should troops need to return and/or the nightmare of WWIII broke out. Ergo, the Draft was no longer needed. It also meant America’s poor would continue to provide the fodder it has done over the last 50 years.

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World’s ugliest shoe found!

The photo above shows you what happens when a Croc has a baby with a Jelly! Not even HR Giger or Salvador Dali could nor dream of such an ugly monstrosity. In short, this is why Kanye West is one of the world’s biggest douchebags.

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Move over Musk, Bezos and Branson, here comes competition!

Now all we need to do is put an end to all that innovation-killing safety regulation regime the Leftist gubmints impose! Otherwise, the Chai-knees will be building missile silos and Panda Expresses on the Moon!

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The Flash: Better than it should be! Worth seeing

Not sure if this is the last of the DC movies released under the flailing regime before James Gunn can right the ship. Then again, when a shit bird higher up named Zaslav is making news on how he’s gutting the Warner Brothers catalog a la “Neutron Jack” Welch, all one can do is hope (or pray) for James. Oh wait, I was wrong, there’s one more Aquaman as I remembered it’s the Marvelesque post-credits bit.

The Flash is loosely based upon the Flashpoint arc from the comics as Barry discovers his superspeed allows him to travel backwards in time. Since DC has also decided that every superhero is mandated to have a tragic origin, the Scarlet Speedster got retconned after 50 years, into having a backstory of his mother being murdered with his father being framed for it. Thus, it’s why Barry is a forensic scientist for the Central City PD. I guess we aren’t allowed to have superheroes who gain accidental powers and decide to just do the right thing. Why the aside-making a dig? It leads to the plot…you got it, he goes back to stop his mother’s murder and father’s incarceration. Does it work? Yes and No as per the trailer. Yes, Barry’s parents remain happily together in his childhood home. No, he’s in the wrong universe as he encounters his younger shittier self (but not like the actor in real life), finds an older, reclusive Batman (Keaton), Zod arrives with nobody capable of stopping him and little minor details you’ll chuckle over.

All isn’t lost. Despite the Burtonverse lacking a Superman and the other useful members of the Justice League, you know from the trailer, there is a Superwoman they need to free. After this, it’s all spoilers and I say, endure, check it out. It panned out much better than it should’ve after Black Adam sucking and Wonder Woman 84 requiring more work. I loved the surprises. There’s one super nerds will laugh their asses off at.

Alamo Extras:

  • Same crap they’ve used before from Bollywood and Spanish-speaking Bozo.
  • News story about a guy in the Philippines being surgically altered to resemble Superman, not sure which actor or artist’s vision.
  • Montage of incarnations to The Clique’s hit “Superman.”
  • MEGO ads for DC-based toy cars; elastic heroes.
  • A PSA for “Don’t let Horsepower take over.”
  • Trailers for The Wizard of Space and Time, Multiplicity and The One.
  • News story about how VHS sales of the 1989 Batman are really high; 15 million copies and it was released while still in theaters.
  • News story about John Moschitta Jr, the fast-talking guy for Fed Ex and Micro Machine toys.
  • Clips from Legend of the Superheroes Special on NBC in 1979.
  • Daffy Duck pre-show with Bugs Bunny from WB VHS stuff.
  • Plug for The Flash TV show from 1990 on CBS.
  • Challenge of the Superfriends with the Flash v. Captain Cold on ABC.
  • The really weak CBS DC cartoons from the late Sixties.
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A nod back to The Gong Show

Couldn’t resist buying this shirt from TeePublic because it was such a joyful moment from the really weird show. Not sure who with NBC allowed The Gong Show to go on as long as it did. Anyway, when Gene hit the floor, it was fun to let him do his thing and the guest judges and others would just throw crap out on the stage.

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Austin loses yet another beloved artist to the GOP Fascists

Since we know the Republicans have been out of any good ideas after the Roosevelts, they continue to be the Hate Party by picking on transgender people, namely children. Thanks to Gov. Abbott, who is also in a wheelchair but never lets that prevent him from being a hateful, mean-spirited piece of shit, Owen Egerton chose to move to Boston or else he may face prison. Besides being a frequent participant in Master Pancake Theater with John Erler, the author of several books, the maker of a couple films and a script doctor in LA, he is also the father of a transgender teenager. If you live outside of Texas, you probably don’t know that the Republican majority passed a law making the parents felons if they allow or provide the treatment for their child (or children). The same goes for doctors, nurses and any other medical workers involved. The child must stay their biological gender at birth until they turn 18.

I’m glad Owen landed a great gig in the Boston area, a professorship at Emerson yet their gain is a deep loss for us. Good luck with your new endeavors Owen! Austin loves you and will miss you all. The next concern will be how aggressive these Redneck Fascists become should Owen attempts to visit. There are worries they’ll arrest people from outside Texas if they have transgender kids. Hitler, Franco and Mussolini are proud of Abbott, Patrick and their thugs. Blaming a little group of helpless citizens who didn’t do anything wrong to whip the Republican base into a frenzy while covering up their incompetence, greed and the very, very fucking guilty AG Ken Paxton.

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One of Houston’s delicacies turns 100!

I had to make Jennifer and Cheyenne stop here yesterday for a late lunch! (Yeah, we are in Houston this morning but we’ll be home in a few hours.) Anyway, this local chain is best in the state for chili dogs as the main course. Way better than Sonic could dream of. Hands down superior to Der Weinerschnitzel. Hell, I’d go out on a limb and say, the best in USA. I will readily admit I haven’t tried rival cities Detroit where I think this delicacy started or Cincinnati which allegedly has good chili. Chicago I’m not going to argue as the Windy City excels in other categories of hot dogs and sausage, same for Milwaukee and our local place on Rainey Street, Banger’s.

Sadly, they’ve tried to make a go of Austin at least once and rapidly closed. It isn’t due to my fellow citizens not enjoying the offerings. JCI picked a terrible location. Downtown on Congress Avenue. Sure they’ll get a wave of people during the lunchtime rush with all the people working there. After five or six PM, Congress is pretty devoid of fast food biz. Then throw in the ridiculous rent. A better spot or ten would be where the people live as per this Houston branch we hit. Until they wise up, I will have to make the Hungry Man’s combo I had do the job for a couple years or longer.

Meanwhile, Congratulations James Comey Island for a century of success in Houston. You grew up with the city! I can only imagine how small Houston was in 1923 and then came the explosive growth with oil, WWII, NASA and while I was present in the Early Eighties. If current trends continue, Houston will finally overtake Chicago as the third biggest US city. May you have another hundred years!

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One billionaire asshole down, 400 to go

The verdict on the mini-sub’s fate was mostly figured out yesterday, the sub was crushed like an empty tallboy against a frat boy’s forehead. I think it was fitting that the company’s founder, Stockton Rush (could his name be any WASPier?) died in this accident, given his Libertarian beliefs: safety gets in the way of “innovation” which is code for making money, no one should shed a tear. The other four, it’s a shame yet they were warned too.

Given the large amounts of money spent by the various navies futilely used in the rescue, I believe Rush’s estate should pay them back. He did everything possible to avoid regulation so it’s only poetic justice he should posthumously pony up. Screw Libertarianism, if he were a true believer, the dickhole would’ve left instructions with the crew to turn down any offers from the international community.

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Check out my hexadecimal dice!

No these aren’t ten-siders, aka d10, they’re 16-siders, aka d16, with A-F representing the numbers 10-15! I couldn’t resist getting them from this online seller in the UK I had gone to previously for d20s which act as d10 as the latter are not Platonic solids, nice to know the patron saint of tyrants is responsible for D&D dice. What good are they? I easily admit D&D rarely needs an outcome depending on 1-16 but with six of these, I can decide a color via them! Let’s see, in the picture above we have EC-B8-C2…a dull shade of pink. The site suggested making random passwords. I don’t know. I fear such a method could be beaten with a good ol’ fashion brute force attempt. Be on the lookout for the site using them in the near future. I already have an idea for July.

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The overdue explanation for the June ’23 Header: Finale

Today, I conclude with the last book which I think overlapped into the school year. Even then I was a slow reader! I had numerous distractions over the Summer of 1983, namely the arcade and I did have people to play D&D with during July! Well, just Eric Terry who was allowed to come back to Bloomington with us for a couple days.

Dorsai! was my introduction to a more obscure writer named Gordon R. Dickson and his series called the Childe Cycle. The only connection to Traveller here would be the ongoing wars between all the human-inhabited worlds using mercenaries and auxiliaries. It’s also the only series I know of in which guns use magnets to propel the bullets; if you watched the newer Battlestar Galactica, it’s similar to what the Galactica used against Cylon ships and in Traveller they’re called Gauss guns. On to the broad strokes…

In the late 23rd Century, the human race occupies 16 worlds orbiting seven nearby stars  but has splintered politically and in a general sense, culturally. Earth remains as diverse and divided as ever yet is a has-been in the constant wars happening between its former colonies. If I remember, many conflicts are waged on planets with civil wars or they’re balkanized with rival governments fighting for dominance. The powerhouses are unified and sometimes govern two planets:

  • The Exotics: Experts in philosophy, psychiatry, spirituality and a tad mystical. Often hired as companions, shrinks or doctors. They’re futuristic New Age types but aren’t full of crap since they get results.
  • The Friendlies: Religious types who vary from dedicated to fanatical. Their two homeworlds suck so many are conscripted to serve as shock troops in the wars to keep their economies afloat. Think of Cromwell’s Roundheads.
  • The Dorsai: Professional soldiers more akin to the Swiss and Prussians in skill but culturally more like the Scots, Irish and English due to their seafood diets and love of (ugh!) bagpipes.
  • The Scientists: Mostly residents of Newton with Cassida in tow for Engineering. They excel at all science yet the fund some R&D by conscripting Cassidans to die like the Friendlies. I can’t think of a parallel in human history.
  • The Cetans: Predominantly merchants and the novel’s primary villain, William, comes from this world. I believe he instigates much of the discord for profit. I’d say they’re clearly Western corporations and American defense contractors.

Enter Donal Graeme. A recent graduate from the Dorsai’s military academy. He has some major expectations to live up to. His twin uncles are well-respected mercenary leaders, he is descended from Cletus Graheme, the person responsible for the Dorsai’s prowess and instigating colonial independence from Earth. Does Donal live up to the hype? Quite. Each chapter’s title is his new rank for every campaign he participates in, demonstrating how cunning and innovative he is until defeating William of Ceta. With this particular victory, the infighting ends and the splintering can shift back toward unification, a brighter future with humanity forming a federation with Donal as its first leader until he disappears in an interstellar-travel “accident.”

Dickson’s storytelling is more on par with Foster than Pournelle. Dorsai is a more akin to a Space Opera with its lack of explanations on the technology; it was written around 1960. The larger arc is about Donal becoming important enough in order to lead the healing by ending all the “silos” humanity has established. Sure the Exotics and Dorsai are bitchin’, even bordering on superhuman but they ‘lack something’ their less-important Earth-based cousins have. Thus this book’s legacy is it led me to read what I think Dickson’s best novel of the Childe Cycle was…Soldier, Ask Not which takes place around the same time via its protagonist, Tam Olyn. He’s a journalist from Earth who covers these wars and when his borther-in-law is killed in a war crime by Friendly mercenaries, he sets out to destroy their entire culture.

Again, I really liked how Dickson was more upbeat on how humanity could get it together after experiencing another period of horrible violence similar to Europe during the Middle Ages and Renaissance.

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